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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Taxi!!


Most of us use taxis on a regular basis and are more than familiar with the process of ride and pay. Firstly have few beers. Flag cab. Tell driver destination. If over a long distance agree price. Talk shite on way home. Pay agreed price and tip. Go to bed. Alas not all of us appear to be familiar with this age old way of conducting business.


The Funky Messiah Way.


Go to black tie works function. Get pissed up on Export and wine. Tell immediate manager he is an arsehole. Move onto double JD and coke. Offer to pluck CEO's bushy eyebrows. Also call him an idiot. Realise you are 30 odd miles from home and only have £15 to make way there. Loosen tie. Hail cab and set off towards destination, withholding financial status from cab driver. On arrival at agreed destination, refuse to pay extortionate rate, and toss last fifteen quid at driver. Attempt to execute sprint from scene of dispute. Remember that you are drunk and stop for breather. Get smacked over bonce with cosh by irate cabbie. While trying to protect ones head from further blows, present angry assailant with loose tie for strangulation purposes. At point of black out, fortune smiles and your £100+ cell mobile phone falls from pocket. Cabbie relieves you of phone and leaves you on ground in ragged pile.


Oh dear. This sad tale is, unfortunately for PJ, not made up but true. The question raised by this epic episode of buffoonery is this; should it count towards the annual "Le Grand Buffoon Award"? It happened within the boundaries of good ole' West Yorkshire, but such epic idiocy surely cannot go unrewarded? My opinion is that it should be counted towards the 2007 award, and think it is high time all acts of buffoonery were taken into consideration. Please debate in the comments section.

3 comments:

Crespo said...

Aparrently, apart from that, he had a good night!!

I think an early qualification for 2007 "Le grand buffoon" is a must

Taxi for Funky...

european bri said...

I agree. Why should such epic buffoonery go unrewarded? We offically have a new front runner in the race for the 2007 maillot Jaune.

Anonymous said...

love the site bri. But although funky's taxi ride and impressive 14 yard sprint in under 3 minutes complete with a severe kicking at the end, is a tale of true buffoonery. I feel that your judgement should take into account previous acts of buffoonery.(sorry can't list as next 6 hours are needed).