Swedish Subverts

I am alarmed by how many of the squad have fallen under the flat pack spell. Since my earlier posting concerning the Elsters attempts to trick me into Scandinavian purgatory, it appears I am in a minority of one, of people who have never darkened IKEA's door. Fact is, quite a few of you seem to actually enjoy visiting the big blue and yellow warehouse. G Spot was the first to draw my attention, when he suggested a visit for the £1 breakfast prior to an all day session. He later claimed that it was a joke, but I am not so sure. Next up, not as surprisingly, was work colleague KC, who says he even SUGGESTS going to the Birstall branch with his missus. Apparently he enjoys the hot dogs, good practise for all the cock sucking he does if you ask me. Talking of gaylords, I have no doubt it's the Swedish meatballs that draw in Jamon. But most alarming of all is the Squad member who even gets his jeans there;

Can you guess who it is? Need a clue?