A Close Shave

I have the misfortune to work for a company that doesn't grant bank holidays, but gives you time off in lieu instead, something up to today, has always rather pissed me off. What has changed my mind I hear you ask? Well let me set the scene. The planets aligned this year, and my days off from work actually coincided with the Easter bank holiday weekend. This meant that for the first time in six years I would actually get to spend the whole weekend off with my wife and kids (my recent bender splurge meaning the Elster put her foot down about boozing with the lads this weekend). Everything was hunky dory till yesterday, when I went out with the old man for a few beers. With my defences down, our lass mentioned something about blinds for the front room, and going out to some out of town shopping area. As all you married fellas out there well know, after a few pints, you don't really pay much attention to what the old trouble and strife is wittering on about. Bank holiday Monday dawned, and we set off to the afore mentioned shopping site. Everything appeared normal till I noticed which car park we were pulling into. The next thing I knew I was hanging on for dear life, as the nefarious Elster was trying to frog march me into IKEA!!!!!!!!!!!! Thankfully I had eaten all my greens the day before, and try as she might, the Elster could not break my death grip on the car park rail. So you will be pleased to know my masculinity remains in tact, and I have not been feminised by the flat packing Swedes. Let this cautionary tale be a warning to all.