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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Killer Keisters


Guten tag ass fans. This week we pay homage to stockings and suspenders. A timeless classic, this look has been heating up the male population since they can into existence. Above is the ageless look of a fine booty, framed by stockings and a basque. I don't know why you are looking in the mirror sweetie, becayse you look damn fine from where I am sitting. Below we have one minus the stockings, but I do like the sheer panties.


Too round out this weeks batch is another classic pose, that to be honest, doesn't really require any of my musings.


Now the picture above was supposed to be this weeks gratuitous ass picture, but I felt I was cheating you, my regular readers, as to be fair, it is only really 2/3 of a keister. So enjoy a Brucie bonus.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Top Ten......Dictators to have on a Bender

It has been a while since we had a top ten, and on Tuesday Queso gave me an idea for one. With all the strife going on in the middle east and North Africa, the Grand Fromaggio opined that Qaddafi might be fun to go on a bender with. Well that got me thinking, if you were going to have a a blowout with a bunch of dictators, which ten would come in handiest to have around? So I have decided to compile my list. This is done in jest, and does not condone any of the evil monsters named below (may they all roast in the deepest fiery pit of Hell).

1. Caligula
Now if it's a party your going to throw, this fella covers all bases. Togas? Check. Nubile young birds? Check. Roman style orgy? Checkaroo. Now I may be gleaning all my information from a somewhat dubious source, the Penthouse funded 1979 soft core flick Caligula, which I also first saw at a very impressionable age. The guy new how to throw a shindig, but you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him, or his bad temper. He had one of his nephews beheaded because his sneezing annoyed him. Also totally bonkers. Famously made his favourite horse a senator.

Died- Aged 28, in AD 41. Stabbed to death by his bodyguards


2. Benito Mussolini
Il Duce was the first of the Fascists, seizing power in Italy in 1925. Now to be fair to the fella, as bad ass dictators go, he was pretty tame. The guy just liked fancy uniforms, looking pompous and erecting big buildings. His record as a military leader was also piss poor. Nearly got his butt kicked in Albania, did get it kicked in Ethiopia, and had to be bailed out by his German buddy Adolf on numerous occasions, most notably on the 12th of September 1943, when a crack German commando unit busted him out of prison just before he was due to be handed over too the Allies. His invitation is based only on the fact that he looked like he liked a beer, and I suppose could provide the uniforms.

Died- 28 April 1945(1945-04-28) at age of 61. Shot by Communists, he and his mistress were strung upside down in a Milan piazza, were a massive crowd spat, kicked and stoned their corpses.

3. Fidel Castro
Somebody has to bring the smokes, and who else but Fidel, leader of Cuba, the nation that produces the finest cigars on Earth. Old Fidel would also be handy to have round just in case things fell a bit flat, as he must be something of a wind up merchant. After all, he gets right up the nose of America, who have tried to have him iced on a few occasions, if the conspiracy theory crew are too be believed. Among the numerous plots hatched, the most bizarre one was an exploding cigar. Seems a spook at the CIA had been watching too many Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Died- Still alive and kicking, at the grand old age of 84. How much longer he will be with us is open to debate, as depending on who you believe, he is either gravely ill, or just taking a sabbatical.

4. Colonel Qaddafi
A Muslim on a Bender? I know it is a rather strange choice, and to be quite honest, he isn't invited for what little charm he he possess, but instead he is invited for his personal body guards. The fact that are all young female virgins not the main reason he earns his invite. It's the only reason. After all he is a barking mad harbinger of doom, who seems to have all the personality of a lump of dry wall. But our party of megalomaniacs have a legion of enemies who wish them deceased, so they need protection, and the Colonels babes must be ass kickers, because they have managed to keep him out of harms way for the best part of 42 years. So if your names not down, your not getting in.

Died- Another one still warm and breathing (aged 68), although for how long who can tell, as his Libyan empire begins too crumble around his ears.

5. Idi Amin
Yet another African despot (and a good buddy of the Colonel mentioned above), the larger than life Idi Amin cut quite a jocular figure, but it wasn't wise to piss him off, or you could end up with arms for legs, and legs for arms. Either that or just plain crocodile grub. A bit like Benito, featured further up the list, Idi looked like he could have a bit of a laugh, and according to the movie "The Last King of Scotland" suffered from spectacular flatulence, which is always a bit of an ice breaker when on the lash with a bunch of the lads. Apparently, after claiming himself to be the heir to the throne of Scotland, he sent a telex to the Queen saying "Dear Liz, if you want to know a real man, come to Kampala." But his paranoia grew to much. Not only did he expel all Asians, many of them born in Uganda, but he finally, and fatally, invaded Tanzania, a country who promptly kicked his arse, and facilitated his escape to first Libya, and finally Saudi Arabia.

Died- Aged 78, in Saudi Arabia, of Kidney failure.

6.Erich Honecker
Our party will require beer, so who better than a German to bring the booze? No not the obvious choice. Old Adolf was a vegetarian tee totaller, and a bit of a stick in the mud, by all accounts. no, what we need is a stereotypical carnivore, who loved hunting and beer (he enjoyed hunting so much, that it is claimed wild beasts had to be imported from other Communist states as there were none left in his own), so it is Herr Honecker who gets the nod. The last leader of the of the old GDR (East Germany) can also pitch in on security. Now I now we have the Colonels elite bodyguard, but our depots are also well known for having an eye for the ladies, so the Libyan lovelies could have their hands full keeps our assorted Dictators out of their panties. Step forwards Erich, who in 1961, as the Central Committee secretary for security matters, was in charge of erecting the Berlin Wall. Let's see those revolutionaries get in now! Still the famous picture of him kissing Brezhnev full on the lips might upset Castro and Amin, two well renowned homophobes...

Died- rather lamely, of cancer, in Chile, aged 84 on the 29/05/1994

7. Nicole Ceaușescu
Probably the ugliest, least charismatic dictator of all time, he qualifies in much the same way as Qaddafi did. But not because he is protected by a host of Romanian hotties. In fact he was married to, and by all accounts devoted, to a moose of a woman. No good ole Nicole has the pad. The second biggest building in the world in fact. To build it he demolished over 30,000 residences, and practically flattened the whole of Bucharest's historic quarter. The building is built very much in the old Soviet era style, and was completed in 1989, Just in time for the revolution that would unseat him, and bring his evil reigin of terror to an end. It is 12 stories tall, and has around 1,100 rooms, a killer spot for hide and seek.

Died- In a hail of bulletts, along with his pig of a wife, in 1989 at the age of 71. It is said the bullets used on his wife needed to be blindfolded, as her ugly mug may have frightened them off target.

8. Charles Taylor
Well we have got most of the stuff sorted for our despot bender. We have got a pad, a wall, female body guards and a couple of clowns. But I have noticed that, apart from maybe Benito, we have a gang of seriously ugly fellas. What we need is something to blind the ladies to our troupe of munters. And in Mr Taylor I think we have found just the man. During the late nineties, Charlie boy was a dictator/warlord in Liberia, and funded his military with the sale of blood diamonds. And we all know they are a girls best friend. In fact he even tried, allegedly, too woo Naomi Campbell with some. He even used them to fund strife in neighbouring countries, most notably Sierra Leone.

Died- You would have figured him to go down in a blaze of gunfire, but instead he was turned over to the United Nations, and is currently on trial in The Hague.

So that's our Bender of Evil sorted out. I know it is supposed to be a top ten, but it is Saturday, and I am off out in a minute or two, and still need to do Killer Keisters.

MoFo Fall Flat

An odd game down the Wood on Wednesday. For a start, the JMF were fielding two rookie replacements, so it was expected that a full strength Euro Elite would be the slight favourites. That is if Shouty the Clown hadn't fallen asleep, and cried off four minutes after we were supposed to kick off. Clogs fetched a sports centre worker to act as his replacement, so our supposed advantage was lost. Not that you wouild have told. From the off it was clear Clogs had unearthed a bit of a gem, as SportsCentre Boy was everywhere. Combine this with a MoFo who were trying to gel, and we were half a dozen up in no time. But however good SportsCentre Boy was out on the court, he was a flaming liability between the sticks, and our lead was pegged back in double quick time. In fact they even managed to draw level. For a while the game could have gone either way, but in the end, we had too much, and were well worth our win. Still the game was far from a classic. Only The mercenary could really claim to have had a good game. Crespo, Jamon, Clogs and Shotgun had their moments, but the game was far from being considered a classic. A win is a win, and that's good enough for us.


JMF- Dr Shotgun, Luklear War, Mikey R, Jamie D and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Crespo, The Mercenary and SportsCentre Boy

2011 Season

JMF wins - 3

Euro Elite - 5


Draws - 0

Saturday, February 19, 2011

MONGOZOED!

You may remember a few weeks back that myself and Geevers had an evening sampling a variety of different beers in the Fighting Cock. One of the more outrageous flavours was one called MONGOZO which is a coconut flavoured ale. Yes, it was as disgusting as it sounds, but good old G-Spot loves nuts, especially big hairy ones, and was smitten by the taste. He sampled a couple, and even got some too take home. But a couple of days later he was struck down by a serious case of face ache (medically known as Bells Palsy) which meant the right side of his face is in effect paralysed. Now the MONGOZO may well have had nothing to do with it, but it is a strange coincidence that his face had been A-OK for the best part of 37 years, yet a couple of days later, and POW! He can longer move the right side of his face. Get well soon old chum, and steer clear of the MONGOZO!

Tricked

All week has been perfectly pleasant. The sun has been out, the temperature, for this time of year at least, has been moderately warm, and even the Tasty Corn street vendor was spotted at Duckworth Lane. A sure sign spring is around the corner? Fat chance. I awoke this morning to an inch, or possibly two, of snow, and freezing fog. Fucking marvellous. And this on the weekend I volunteered to work overtime on a Sunday. Bolloxs.

Killer Keisters


Good day ass fans, it is once again for your weekly Keister fix. This week we return to amazing Technicolour, after the monochrome showings last week. First up we have a pert little offering, in a classic "jumper riding pose." Nothing fancy, just does what it says on the tin. Next up a more original pose. It is a mighty fine keister, as you would expect from this thread, but doesn't appear to be a professionally staged photo shoot. No it looks like some lucky devil has talked his bird into dropping her pants, and then taking a crafty picture with out her knowledge. I also like the fact that it isn't a sun kissed (or spray) tanned one either. A definite peach.


Mmmmmmmmmmm nice. In contrast to the shot above, this weeks G.A.S. is taken from far sunnier climes, as a bronzed, thong clad posterior emerges from a shimmering swimming pool. Just what is required, to warm one up a cold snowy Yorkshire afternoon.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Au Revoir Lobon

An unexpected bender is occurring this summer. Brother Lobon, aka Mick Jannetta, is finally throwing in the towel, and setting sail for sunnier climes. Of course we couldn't just let one of the oldest, and best loved, members of the Bender Squad just fade away into the sunset, so a farewell shindig needs to be hastily arranged. Which isn't as straight forward as you'd think. Being Lobon, he has decided to go right at the beginning of September, which means any under taking too party must be done during the peak family season of July/August. This means not only time, but money will be at a premium for most, so it is highly unlikely that a European jaunt will be undertaken ( plus the fact we are aiming to take a trip to see the Major in late September) So a United Kingdom destination is preferable. The first one to come to mind is Edinburgh. Not over expensive, easy and relatively cheap to get to, but a place we visited only last year. Still a great place mind, and not yet ruled out. Another option, albeit slightly more difficult to get to, is Belfast. It has been a few years since we went, and if John the Don drags himself along, he has a few contacts over yonder, and has been known to blag us a few discounts here and there.



But there is one place that has cropped up, that provides a decent train journey, which we all like, is some where that few of us have been before, and is more than a little bit different. Inverness. EH! I hear you shout, but bear with me for a moment. First up. It will be cheap. Also, the King of the Pixies may well be working up that neck of the woods so we can hook up with him. And, ummmm, that's about it. Unless you count monster spotting. Now I appreciate that it doesn't set the pulse racing as a must see destination, and to be quite honest, it may prove to be a hell hole of English hating inbred Highlanders, but I kind of like the idea, at the moment. Notice I said idea, which means this is by no means a set in stone, give us your money shindig, but just a bit of out loud thinking. As ever, myself and Mick are open to all, and any, suggestions, but let's keep 'em affordable.

Late Charge Falls Short

After last weeks shambles, the Righteous Euro boys were looking to get back to a settled side, but these plans were scuppered when Crespo cried off with a poorly uterus. Luckily for us, Young Gaz was once more available, and his influence paid from the off. For those of you watching Barcelona take on the Gunners, our first half display was on a par. At one point a huge victory appeared to be on the cards, as the JMF rear was shredded in the same manner as they shred their rent boys. Eight goals up in double quick time, I began to prepare the abacus to keep tally, but the tide was stemmed by a heroic effort from Dead Eye. Not through his prolific shooting, but by his brilliance between the sticks. He failed to keep a clean sheet (he only allowed the one score) but his Herculean effort finally snapped his team mates out of their stupor. At about the same time a hint of complacency had seeped into our game, as we went all Hollywood, in pursuit of the beautiful goal. At first this meant nothing, but credit where it's due, the MoFo kept chipping away. Then Clogs injured himself, and instead of just chipping, they began knocking great lumps out of our lead. In fact, with time ticking down towards the five minute mark, the gay lords managed to draw within three, and had all the momentum going their way. Could this be the greatest comeback in Wood history? Young Gaz pooped in a couple, and our breathing space was once more intact, and we cruised through the remaining time, securing the win.


JMF- Dr Shotgun, Luklear War, Dead Eye, King Dave and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Young gaz, The Mercenary and Shouty

2011 Season

JMF wins - 3

Euro Elite - 4


Draws - 0

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Volleyball Anybody??

Now I am not sure if you aware, but the London 2012 Olympic schedule, and ticket costing went live today. Now regular perusers of this blog will be aware of my love of Womens beach Volleyball, and I was just wondering if anybody would fancy a tripo down the smoke, to watch some lycra clad lovelies bounce up and down vigourously and pat each other on the ass. Tickets start at the right on the sideline, watch the drips of sweat roll down their thighs seats, which for the preliminaries cost about £95, which is a bit pricey, if you ask me. A far more reasonable, mid way up, take a pair of binoculars seat, costs £40. The only drawbacvk being that there will be a couple of mens games in that slot, which is a little bit creepy. Tanned geezers in budgie smugglers indeed. This means it might be best to go for a last 16 tie, which is only a tenner more. I was going to suggest the final, but the cheapest tickets start at £95, although you do get to see the winners, and medal ceremony. Although to be honest, I am not that bothered. Any takers?? Cause if it's good enough for good ole George Dubya, it's good enough for me.

Still No Takers??

The transfer window has slammed well shut, and to all intents purposes has been boarded up and had a no trespassing sticker slapped on it. That means that unless a player is out of contract and not affiliated to any club, no team can bring in any new players. Which makes it all the more remarkable that no club has snapped up big Irish target man Super Barry Conlon. Stop laughing! If the Toon think Shefki Kuqi is worth a punt as a replacement for Andy Carroll, why not Baz? But still the Conlon mobile lays dormant. Still it's good to see the big lump is keeping himself in shape.....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Le Grande Buffoon 2011

After a quiet spell, news has reached me of a quite stupendous effort. It did happen a couple of months back, but the details have only recently been confirmed, and points allocated. It is such an excellent tale, that it has earned yet another member a name change. As you may recall, Gruber earned his new moniker after his Adolf Hitler effort (he still maintains the despots real last name was Shicklegruber, and is risking more points by his steadfast refusal to accept the truth). Yes MickeyD shall henceforth be known as Papillion, after his recent brush with the law. After a boozy session round Otley, his missus came to pick him up and take him home. On the way, a cop car came into view. For reasons best known to himself, he decided to give the passing jam sandwich the finger. At this point the rozzers turned round, gave pursuit, and pulled him over. Instead of contriteness, they were instead met with a barrage of insults, and the former policeman was invited to cool his heels in the local slammer. After spending the night sleeping in the drunk tank, he was roused, and told he could go, at which point he gave them yet another piece of his mind, and was incarcerated for yet another four hours. After tallying up, myself, Crespo and Fromaggio agreed that 15 points was suitable score. Of course this brings up yet again the mystery of the Big Cheeses own transgressions. He admits that it is a minimum 25 pointer, and Child catcher seems to think he may have earned a few for the same stunt, but up till press they remain tight lipped. Which is a bit of a surprise, as they can be a bit loose lipped after a few sherberts.....

2011 standings
  1. Dessi 20 points
  2. Euro Bri 16 points
  3. Papillion 15 points
  4. Trigger 7 points
  5. G Spot 7 points
  6. Crespo 7 points
  7. Gruber 4 points
  8. JohhnyM 3 points
  9. Shouty 3 points
  10. Geester 3 points
  11. John the Don 1 point
  12. Child Catcher 1 point
  13. Il Fromaggio Grande 1 point
  14. Tony Helmet 1 point
  15. King of the Pixies 1 point
  16. Daniel-san 1 point
  17. Big JB 1 point

Friday, February 11, 2011

Killer Keisters


Well it's Friday night, which means it's keister time. This week we are going for a full blown G.A.S. (Gratuitous Ass Shot) but on a more arty tip, as this week we return to the art of the black and white photograph. Now these are not as popular, hits wise, as the colour postings, but to m,e they always seem a touch more imaginative. My imagination is running riot at the thought of what is going on in the one pictured above. Always was a sucker for the female submissive. Then again there is a lot to be said for the obvious. Could the shot below be more blatant as to what this fine arse is presenting it's self for? Or are there several courses of action that one could take?


But perhaps the best of all, is that moment as an ass slowly hoves into view, as some fine filly slowly peels away her delicates.....


Oh what the Hell. I've always played to the gallery, and who am I to deprive regular readers there weekly fix.......in colour. So enjoy a one time only, Brucie bonus.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Dads Army Capitulate

Just as we thought we were about to string together a bit of a run, a couple of late withdrawls from our younger players, gave the Righteous a distinctly veteran feel. Add to that, a recall for the long absent Young Gaz, on the side of evil, and were up against it from the off. Not that you could tell, as the euro lads got off to a bit of a flyer. Clogs was bang on form, and the MoFo looked to be a bit at sea. There was only one problem. we could only keep it going for about fifteen minutes. Once the evil boy lovers had equalised, there was only one outcome. We did our best, but to no avail, as the we went down by a landslide. Still, I suppose it keeps it interesting. And that's all there is to say really..


JMF- Young Gaz, Luklear War, Dead Eye, King Dave and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Big Phil the Octopus, The Mercenary and Salty Scott

2011 Season

JMF wins - 3

Euro Elite - 3


Draws - 0

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Back Oop North


Crikey, that was intense! Our swift flyer down London town was brief and alcohol packed. From Crespo, Helmet and the Pixie fretting we were going to miss the train, it was all go. A quick beer stop in Leeds station, and Big JohnnyM blagged us in to first class. A huge Big Up to Mighty Mick, our favourite East Coast Line employee. First buffoon points were scored by Sandro, who forgot to lock the toilet door, and managed to flash his hairy old keister at the conductress. They even had a special offer on, two cans of Wife Beater for a fiver, which meant we rolled out at Kings Cross feeling no pain. The digs were just across road, and then it was off to Covent Garden. If memory serves, there was a brief return to our digs, before heading back to a pub called the Porterhouse, which had a vast array of beers. it was at this point we all lost each other, and me and Jonesy put the nose bag on and retired for the night at around one-ish. The next day started a bit ropey, for myself any way, as I hoicked up much of the previous nights deprivations. Myself, JB and Daniel-San scored a point each, for walking all round the houses to the breakfast room, when it was bang opposite our bedroom door. I only realised when Sandro magically appeared after I had taken the long route.

A few off us needed to clear our heads, none more than the good Dr Shotgun, who thought better of it, and buggered off back to Bradford. I rang Crespo, who mumbled some shit, and said he would catch us up, more of which later. The remainder of the squad re grouped, bought tube tickets, and took off for a spot of sight seeing. St Pauls, The Globe and the Millennium Bridge were along our chosen route, when I got a phone call from a flustered Crespo, whose recnt birthday we were down to celebrate. "My phone is about to run out of charge, I am Kings cross, where are you?!?!?" I told him we would be in a bar near the afore mentioned bridge, and would hang fire till he arrived. He showed up about an hour later, and then wondered why we issued him with three points. The Buffoon. So we set off on a stroll along the Thames, deciding catch a tube outside the Houses of Parliament, and grab a few pints of Guinness at a pub called the Toucan, which had been recommended by the Mercenary as a fine spot for sipping the black stuff. It took a bit off finding, my GPS took us on a proper long cut, but we finally found it, with Dan, Sandro and Johnny desperate for a slash. To find that it don't open on a Sunday. At all. Cheers Jules... Still, it proved to be a blessing in disguise, as Big JB spotted another pub THAT was open. And what a gem it turned out to be. Nellie Deans of Soho, just off the Square was an excellent little boozer, with quite possibly the friendliest most efficient bar man in London. They had decent grub, at a good price (Roast dinner for under £6) and for London, cheapish beer. Guinness came in at £3.70, which you can pay more than in Leeds. A chilled out afternoon was pent there, before we headed up to the Euston Flyer, for the Chelsea v Liverpool game, the result cheering up Dan and San no end. (San had a tenner on the scousers). The the trip home. Steady away, I did well with the cards, and few pints in Leeds, and yet another Bender had bitten the dust.

A gallery of our usual shenanigans can be found by clicking here.

2011 standings
  1. Dessi 20 points
  2. Euro Bri 16 points
  3. Trigger 7 points
  4. G Spot 7 points
  5. Crespo 7 points
  6. Gruber 4 points
  7. JohhnyM 3 points
  8. Shouty 3 points
  9. Geester 3 points
  10. John the Don 1 point
  11. Child Catcher 1 point
  12. Il Fromaggio Grande 1 point
  13. Tony Helmet 1 point
  14. King of the Pixies 1 point
  15. Daniel-san 1 point
  16. Big JB 1 point

Friday, February 04, 2011

Killer Keisters


This week is a rather hurried affair, as I am readying to take of on a bender around old London town. Of course this does not mean I have a trio of saggy arses for your delectation, but the usual array of fine, tight backsides that we have grown to love and look forward too. A well known rebuff through out the western world when some one is pulling your chain is to tell them to "Kiss my Ass!" We have all uttered this sentence on numerous occasions, but never to to an arse that truly deserves it, which is why I have posted this tidy little bottom that appears to have its right cheek snogged. And why wouldn't you? Tight, fine and pert, it would be rude not too... This weeks second offering almost qualified as a G.A.S. but I felt the pose was not quite in that category. Mind you, it is a bit on the plumper side. Large and firm, just the way I like 'em. Finished off with a near gym slip and a pair of boots. That's right, I have got a semi on.


So on to this weeks proper Gratuitous Ass shot. Sticking with the bigger arse, this is a fine example of red knickered glory. By crikey it's a good 'un.

MONGOZO!


Friday night is rapidly becoming Fighting Cock Night. This real ale pub may be a bit off the beaten track, Wibsey wise, but at least it doesn't have DJ Gaz spinning obscure 80's tripe on the wheels of steel. Instead it has a vast array of different beers, ales and lagers to sample, from the far flung corners of the globe. Now I fancy myself as the adventurous type, and like to think I'd try most anything at least once. Of course there are somethings that I wouldn't consider. Supporting Leeds United, becoming Tee Total, shaving my balls or blowing a vicar are just a few of the things that I would pass on. And till last Friday I would have added coconut beer to that list. Now I can imagine a few fruits that would pique my interest. In fact I have sampled cherry and raspberry lambics, which I thought were okay. But coconut? The stuff they put in Bounty Bars? Nah mate, yer 'avin a laugh intcha? But the fella who was keeping me company this particular evening has a liking for all things tropical, especially big brown hairy nuts. So he bought one. Let me first say this, the name and the bottle are uber cool. Mongozo! (it is impossible to say without the exclamation mark) comes in a bottle that has a blue and silver setting Japanese style sun thing down on it, which I liked very much. So it was off to a good start. Cool name, and a delightfully designed label. But on pouring it looked like piss that had been left in the sun for a week, and to be quite frank, tasted pretty much as it appeared. But did it deter my coconut loving companion? Not in the slightest. He even got a couple to take home. So who was the taste bud free mad man? Bet you've already guessed.....


There truly is only on Geevers G. G-Spot, the CoCo nut Kid.

Drinking Magic

An Ice Cold Peroni, Spicy Hot Meatballs served with crusty thick cut bread. On a grizzly, wild wet Yorkshire afternoon. Chuffin' Magic!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Lame Start Dooms MoFo

What could have been? If only the limp wristed one's had played the first half hour as they played the last, this post may well have had a more sombre tone. But they were garbage for the first half of the game, and although credit is due for their near miraculous come back, a seven goal deficit was always going to be a reach. They held all the aces. The Wall. Check. Playing against a team fielding a reserve. Check. Matching tops. Checkaroo. Any semblance of team work? Eeeeinkkkk! (that word is supposed to signify a failed buzzer noise) As I have alluded, at the half hour mark it appeared an old school spanking was on the cards. But then came the mad ten minutes, when every single member of the Righteous Elite construed to gift a score to the JMF. This puzzled the boys in white, and lo and behold, the shirt lifters drew level. Thankfully this state of affairs shocked the Euro boys out of their stupor, and a trio of scores from Crespo and Clogs eased the nerves, and took the wind right of the JMF sails. At this juncture tempers were frayed, and I particularly enjoyed the frank exchange of words between Jamon and Shotgun. I laughed so much, that I was responsible for conceding a goal. So the Wall's spell has been broken, and as such, the first advantage of the year has been claimed by the Righteous. But can it last....


JMF- Dr Shotgun, Luklear War, Dead Eye, King Dave and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Big Phil the Octopus, The Mercenary and Crespo

2011 Season

JMF wins - 2

Euro Elite - 3


Draws - 0

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Shock Transfers

Torres to Chelsea for £50,000,000, closely followed by Liverpool blowing all of that money and then some on Suarez and Andy Carroll. Big news on all the back pages and Sky Sports News, but the biggest shock of the January transfer window slipped by almost totally unnoticed. It would have save Kenny and Roman ALL their brass, as he is currently available for a crate of Guinness and a pork pie. Big Barry Conlon, amazingly, continues to draw work seekers allowance. Never mind that none of the 91 League teams overlooked him. Or that even the semi-pros of the Blue Square turned a blind eye. But when the amateurs of the Scottish Premier League don't show any interest, you begin to suspect that it may just be me that thinks of the Irish Cart Horse as a footballing leg end. As you can see he has fallen on hard times, and and is looking for suggestions as to what career path he should now be looking to take. It is however nice to see he still draws fans, as a burqa clad Bantams fan makes for an autograph.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Bantams 1 Imps 2

Well that's that then. Even I, as committed an optimist as one can find, concede the 2010/11 promotion push is as dead as a dodo. In fact, at this rate, we may well be playing a league different to the one we are currently in. Bet there are plenty garden sheds in the Blue Square Conference. Could it happen? If we continue to loose to the teams below us, many who have games in hand, it is more than a possibility. The shame, if it were to happen, Leeds and Town fans would have a field day, and one may be forced to take to wearing a bag over ones head when attending matches, or even walking down the street (or a burqa, would be more in keeping with the local residents of Manningham). Yet again the game started brightly. An early lead, and if not sweeping pass and move play, at least we looked the better team, against a very moderate Lincoln side. But then, just as half time beckoned, a long cross found Delroy bloody Facey unmarked at the far post, and is back to level pegging. Just the wake up call they needed for the second half, you would think, but a more turgid response would be hard to imagine. Lacklustre does not even begin to cover it, and the longer the game went on the more toothless and inept the home team became. And then the coup de grace. You knew it was coming. Peter Taylor knew it was coming. Our back four did. Hell even Grandma Gertrude on good ole Ohio had an inkling, and she's 90 and has no idea who the fuck the Bantams are. And lo, it came. Shit defending, good save, Lincoln player with all the time in the world, back of the net ballooning. Game over. Season over. Interest at an all time low......


Crespo Watch- Top marks for the Kevster, as without his and Fraomaggios company, I may have been tempted to take a head first dive down the concrete stair well. 10/10