So I decided to scout through the Grattan catalogue as Elsters mum, the snaggle toothed gypsey, can get 30% off. After leafing through the lingerie section for 45 minutes, I finally looked into the sports shoe section and these masculine looking fellas caught my fancy,
I rang snaggle tooth, put in my order, made sure I requested the black and red variety, and began my patient wait. After the weekend, Elster told me a delivery was waiting at the post office and the in law would have it delivered to her post office on Tuesday. She duly rang me up and I went to get them on my way to the rug rats swimming lessons, putting them in the back of the van to ensure no light fingered thief could make off with them. Unfortunately I totally forgot about them until it was Wednesday and getting time to get ready for footie, when I opened the box;
THE GAYEST TRAINERS IN THE WORLD HAD ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!
What on earth would the JMF say?!?! Would they try and have they're evil way with me!!! Even th Righteous on my own team would take the piss!!! I checked the box, and it said "Colour red and black", my conclusion was an illiterate asylum seeker must be in charge of packing at Grattan. My problem was the previous trainers I possessed now resided at the bottom of a charity shoe bin in Girlington. My only option is in the future to win every tackle, and score vast amounts of goals to dispel campness of my footwear.
8 comments:
I rest my case.
Your just excited because you think your in with a chance you randy bugger! Well think again you medical supplying homo!
Excuses aside , its hardly suprising that we lost this week as the rest of the Euro elite couldnt play for laughing at his new shiney whites.
Ha Harrrrr.......
Even your own cottaging mates are now turning their back on you................not that that's anything unusual.
"There red, but mainly white, he'll bugger ya all night - Euro Bri, Euro Bi"
I yhink dar sexy hubba hubba !!
At least they dare to turn their backs on me, arse fister!
Caution - Porky Pie's on the loose.
The more observant of you have noted that although the knob-munchers whole story rotates around the disposal of his old trainers, miraculously he/she managed to take a picture of said old trainers even though, according to his/hers farcial anecdote, they were previously disposed of and lay rotting in a skip.
Basically this man is not to be trusted. He is a lying faggot making up elaborate sories in an attempt to cover up his white shoe wearing fetishes.
Be warned.
The only porky on the loose is that slippery pig you cant seem to catch.
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