Custom Search

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

The Results are in, and the Winner is...............

Over the last few months you have been asked to cast your vote to determine which queer boy faggot on the evil JMF deserved to be known as "The biggest Gaylord". Well the time has come to reveal the answer. But first a quick recap. From the outset their were three clear favourites, Jamon, Funky and King Dave who were soon to pull away from rank outsiders Dead Eye and I am your father Luke. The major talking point however was how well known light bulb botherer Funky failed to keep pace with Jamon and the King, leaving a two horse race to compete over the closing two weeks. Up until as recently as lunchtime on the 31/10/06 it looked as if King Dave would pip longtime leader and odds on favourite Jamon to the post but it was to be in vain as I can reveal the final vote:

Who is the biggest gaylord on the J.M.F?
Jamon 43.24%
Funky 10.81%
King Dave 39.19%
I am your father Luke 2.7%
Dead Eye Phil 4.05%

Total votes : 74

Congratulations Jamon!!!!!!!!



Don't be Bradford City on FM06

Lobons German love child throws an epic "Mick"

Monday, October 30, 2006

Down to the Wire


Only 26 hours remain in the great JMF Gaylord vote, and what a final day we have in prospect. A hectic day of voting has seen the lead change several times as the voting public rush to register their vote in time. After assuming the lead early in the afternoon, King Daves supporters have pulled it back to neck and neck in the polls. Jamon or King? The choice is yours! Who is the biggest Gaylord on the J.M.F?

Sammy J on her hen night

 

It would appear Sammy J took inspiration from soon to be hubby Shouty when she ventured out on her hen night. Don't know about you but them tights look mucky,laddered and stained to me! Posted by Picasa

Saturday, October 28, 2006

I DON'T F%$KING BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!

Those evil mother fuckers at Tesco's are advertising on my site!!!!!!!! Bastards!!!!!!!!!


Picasa

For anybody wanting to download Picasa please use the white tab on the left with Google Photo Software on it. Please keep checking out the adverts at the top as this helps push the blog up Googles search rankings. Cheers.

Clown Prince Jamon of Gaylord gifts Elite draw


With the clock ticking down and the JMF cruising to a shock three goal victory, team captain Jamon, in an epic display of goalkeeping ineptitude, tossed the Elite a draw on Wednesday night. What would have been one of the greatest comebacks of all time was carelessly tossed away by the king of ass crack. As his team mates looked on in horrified disbelief, he threw the ball to Clogs not once, not twice, but three times in the space of thirty seconds to see a three goal cushion evaporate, and hand the Elite a draw just as time expired. His shell shocked comrades trooped of the court only to find the cock crazy buffoon then launch into a tirade blaming them for throwing away what seemed a certain victory! How this will affect team morale over the coming weeks remains to seen, but in the mean time, myself and the remainder of the Elite will relish reminding Mrs MoFo of his hippopotamus like reflexes.

He's Tall, He's White, in Goals he's very Shite.........Jamon.....Jamon! Posted by Picasa

Friday, October 27, 2006

Drunk


Have been drunk since Thursday, will update tomorrow. Thank god for spell check.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

ONLY FIVE DAYS LEFT


The vote to find the "Biggest Gaylord on the JMF" has entered its last week, and with only five days left, it appears to be coming down to a straight slap fight between the King and Jamon. Only yesterday, Jamons seemingly invincible pole position was briefly cut to nothing as the King drew level for the first time. Your vote WILL make a difference! Closing date midnight 31/10/06.


Who is the biggest gaylord on the J.M.F?

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

November Bantams bender change of game

Big Al didn't book his flight in time, and won't be in the country till the 23/11/06, missing the Oldham Athletic game. So instead of crossing the Penines, I would like to propose the Brighton game at Valley Parade on the 4/11/06. It may be the smarter move, and will be cheaper, remembering Xmas is only round the corner. Which brings me onto our own Bender Squad Chrimbo bash. My suggestion is a daytime session round Skipton, moving onto either Keighley, Bingley or Bradford afterwards. The date I'am putting forward is the 16/12/06, although it can be earlier to avoid any work shindigs. Comments please.

Monday, October 23, 2006

How can this be?


In the annual bender squad fantasy football league, the unthinkable is happening. A female is winning!!! Sammy J has opened an 11 point lead over brother Lobon, but even more unbelievably has a massive 85 point lead over her concubine Shouty, and the most manly of men and hero to all, European Bri. She has done this with no transfers, and a team that includes Jason Roberts (?) and a just returning to fitness Joe Cole. This woman MUST BE STOPPED!!!! The repercussions would shake the bender squad to its very foundations!! Next thing you know the nefarious M.R.S will be demanding to come on Stag nights, and leaving us at home to look after the kids while they traipse around the continent watching football and swigging the local beers. This may just be the thin end of the edge. For myself and Shouty it may be too late to prevent the unthinkable, so my call goes out to those members left in the race. Our future rests upon your shoulders. Go forth my sons , and extinguish this threat to our very manhood. May God be with you.


Tescoization of the UK continues

The Times
April 26, 2006
How Tesco will crumble and fallMagnus Linklater
The size and speed of the superstore’s growth may contain the seeds of its destruction
I DON’T KNOW whether Tom Douglas managed to get 1,000 people into the Volunteer Hall last night. He needed that number to mount a convincing protest against the new Tesco superstore, which he is convinced is about to wreck Galashiels. At the last count, he had about 600 lined up, which wasn’t quite enough.
The demonstration he has organised is an eleventh-hour stand and, if it fails, this ancient Borders town will lose its Victorian heritage — the red-sandstoned College of Textiles, with its neo-Classical portico and its fine marbled pillars, the Lochcarron mill, whose old water wheel is the only one still working in the area, the burgh yard, where half a dozen small businesses still operate, the streets that link the town to its industrial past — all to be sacrificed to the onward march of the most powerful retail chain in the land.
For Tesco, Galashiels is little more than a blip on the graph of its soaring profits. The extraordinary expansion of its empire, which yesterday disclosed annual profits of £2.25 billion, will not be deflected by the opposition of one small town. In any event, it has no intention of losing. The land has been bought, the council has given its backing, the planning system is sewn up, and a sophisticated marketing operation has gathered local support among the residents. In the words of Hilaire Belloc: “The stocks were sold, the Press was squared, the Middle Class was quite prepared.” Because Tesco has resources and experience that far outweigh anything its opponents can drum up, it is not often stopped in its tracks.
And yet the Tesco effect, with its all-embracing culture of cheap food and wider choice, poses a greater threat to the economies of local communities than any single commercial development of recent times. Whenever it moves in on small towns, the life-blood is steadily drained from their high streets, small businesses are undermined and the network of local suppliers and traders on which communities depend is broken.
Yet most local authorities lean over backwards to give Tesco the planning approval it needs, believing that the arrival of one of its stores enhances the standing of a town and meets the needs of its residents. Tesco smooths the path by offering small “planning gains” — a new road, a refurbished depot, a car park — in return for development approval. Once installed, however, it is omnivorous.
Over the years it has grown from being a simple, if enormous, grocer, into selling over-the-counter medicines, providing finance and banking services, running post offices and garages, selling clothing and hi-tech equipment, always undercutting the opposition. If there is a vacuum to fill, it will fill it. In Inverness, for instance, it already has three superstores, but that, it seems, is not enough. Tesco has plans for a fourth. Locals have nicknamed the town “Tescopolis”.
Not only is Tesco a property owner of formidable dimensions, it has acquired a databank that allows it to map the profile of its shoppers and predict their needs to an extent that few of them even guess at. Known as Crucible, and operated by a Tesco subsidiary, it collates information on every household, either through its own club card or through swapping information with other consumer groups, such as Sky, Orange and Gillette. It tracks the personality, travel habits and shopping preferences of its customers, actual and prospective. It can offer a profile of their lifestyle, which charity they support, whether they are occasional or habitual shoppers and even how ecofriendly they are.
This will position it well for its next big move — into the healthcare world. It sees the White Paper on health services, with its proposals for “surgery in the community”, as offering a new area for expansion. This time, it is the Government rather than local councils that is offering encouragement. Patricia Hewitt, the Health Secretary, believes that retailers such as Tesco and Boots could run GP surgeries, thus taking the pressure off hospitals. Because the stores are open late at night, patients would be able to see a doctor without taking time off work. They have space to house surgeries; they could even employ their own doctors and nurses; and of course they already have in-store pharmacies. What this would do to local GP practices remains to be seen.
All this suggests that Tesco is unstoppable. And yet, like the alien invader in The War of the Worlds, its very size and the speed of its expansion may contain the seeds of its own demise. Consumers do not, in the end, take kindly to an overweening monopoly, especially when it squeezes out competition and dictates its own terms. In towns that face the massive intrusion of new superstores, opposition is mounting. A network of websites offers hostile evidence about Tesco’s tactics, its methods and its ambitions.
Aware of this mounting criticism, giants such as Wal-Mart in America have begun shoring up their defences — they are training rival businesses to offer greater competition; in Britain, Asda, Wal-Mart’s subsidiary, intends to offer loyalty cards that encourage customers to shop at other local stores. This may sound a bit like the mugger who offers his victim a course in self-defence, but it is evidence that these retailers at least are aware of the danger of unfettered expansion.
Tesco is a formidable enterprise. But if it continues to ride roughshod over all opposition, to stifle competition, and to ignore the sensitivities of long-established communities, then, like so many imperial dynasties of the past, it too will crumble and fall.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Munich Oktoberfest 2007


The time has come to start preparations for the 2007 Munich Oktoberfest excursion. Everybody seems pretty much up for it and I will be booking the hotel at the end of October. Le Grande Buffoon 2006, John the Don will be travelling, but it would appear the 2005 vintage, Jamon, will be unable to attend due to the discovery of his escape tunnel by CD. Apart from the Don, a strong showing is expected from Funky,Helmet, Dangerous and Shouty. Dark horses European, The Boy and Mad Ad will also no doubt be in the running, as this would appear to be the only foreign jaunt of 2007, barring any surprise stag nights or lottery wins.

Friday, October 20, 2006

A Pixie among Fairies

As you all know since the EU expanded its membership we have seen an influx of migrant workers into our towns and cities. But who would have thought a Maltese Pixie would even infiltrate our own beloved Cottingley Fairies!




The jiggery-pokery in the above photo was done using Picasa, which can be downloaded free by clicking on the tab to the left.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Born Slippy


Encouraged by his continuing evasion of Jamon, Slippery T has enlisted his curly tailed friends to challenge the star fish stabber Jamon MoFo. The snouted ones are hoping to bring a whole new meaning to the term "Pig Skin", as they weave their magic against the woeful pig stopping skills of Mr MoFo. The ultimate aim of this exhibition is to push for "Jamon Dodging" to become an Olympic sport in time for the 2012 London Games. Team member Snap Crackling had this to say; "The idea behind Jamon Dodging is not just to avoid capture, but to do so in a manner that renders Mr MoFo in as gormless a light as possible. We have decided to introduce a football, our inspiration being the lessons given to Jamon by the mighty European Bri on a weekly basis." What happens if Jamon were unavailable? I put this question to new comer Go Go Gammon; "This has always been our biggest worry, what if some misfortune were to befall Jamon? Fortunately he has a team of merry men that provide more than enough cover. King Dave, Funky, Dead Eye and even I am your father Luke have proved more than susceptible to a slippery pig." Will these plucky porkers prove successful in their quest? Only time will tell, in the mean time enjoy as these greasy little fellas make buffoons of the band of brothers known as the JMF.

JMF pig chasers get snouted by by five

In a magnificent footballing display, the Elite sent the effeminate pig dodgers of the JMF scurrying back to their hi energy disco bars with a five goal tailing. They could still be heard wailing about "those awful, awful men" this morning as they came to terms with the thrashing they were given down "the Wood" last night. The JMF pranced around like a bunch of pansies, the score only being kept to five as the Elite rolled round in fits of laughter at the ineptitude on display from the slow witted arse bandits that opposed them. To compound matters the limpwristed ones will be without main goal threat dead eye next week. Happy days.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Somebodys been swinging the lead......

It seems all is quite in Jamons place of work as he has sent over a couple of electronic mails for me to post. Below is what that old turd burglar did to draw a wage today;



EURO HOMO’S
ISSUE 1

PIG RACING WEEKLY




Racing at the Wood
Hi there swine sports fans, due to the increasing number of nut-megs and slippery pig manoeuvres put over on the Euro by the skilful (just likek watching Brazil) JMF, there appears to be an increasing number of manglewurzel feed critters mooching around the wood.

So much so that when becoming bored of “boring” the porkers - Euro-homo suggested (bearing in mind his deep-south home-land family roots) pig racing - hence our new magazine.

EURO-HOMO PIG RACING WEEKLY
Source: JMF – free-press
Cottingley’s first race
Eight-week-old pigs go hog wild toward the finish line during the "Sue Wee Pig Races" at the Wood County Fair. The 1st anniversary "Silver Celebration" was held at the Tiffany Sports Centre - Ohio.
The event was watched over by pig racing and pig shagging champion Hal Pussy who later gave trophies and then fucked his sister whilst being “whooped” by the good-ol-boys.
Source: JMF – free-press

Cousin HAL hits the UK


Along with brother Al, pig racing champ Euro’s cousin Hal will becoming to the UK in November to show him and his bunch of crap-bacon-dodgers the finer points in Pig stoppery.
Pig racing trainer Hal- Pussy said his pigs absolutely loved it when they trotted out on the track; they "smiled" and looked just like kids having fun. At the end of the last race, the hungry entrants get to pig out on pavlova, cream, and chocolate cake. He says pigs "are as loyal as dogs." – plus ya can feck em afterwards!
Source: JMF free-press
More exciting news next week including:
exclusive photos of Euro –fucking a pig dressed only in white trainers and a smile.
lobon holding a pig with a lobon.



OH my aching sides, NOT!



And the fun just keeps coming.........



Euro,

JMF counter-intelligence unit has acquired the below image of a Euro Elite training “camp”.

Before you attempt to deny it – although the faces are slightly blurred you and ya bunch of bandits are easily recognized by the white trainers and Y-fronts.




I can't believe he has the cheek to cash his pay check.

Jamons cunning plan for Slippery T

In order to stop further embarrassment caused by T-bone giving me the slip, I have secretly kidnapped him and forced feed him pies until he reach a stop-erable size.

See attached.


Late changes

Tonight see's four regulars missing, two on each team. Filling in on the evil, cock munching gaylord JMF are Jules and Clogs for Funky and "I am your father" Luke. On the good and righteous Elite, Two Scoops and "Whats it all about" Alfie stand in for the injured Lobon and working away Shouty.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Only Two Weeks Left


Only Two Weeks remain to determine who will be unveiled as the biggest Gaylord on the JMF. After months of campness and shirt lifting, it now comes down to a two horse race between King Dave and Jamon, with Funky a rank outsider, and Dead Eye and Luklear seemingly out of the running. Closing date is the 30/10/06 so cast your vote NOW!



Who is the biggest gaylord on the J.M.F?

Saturday, October 14, 2006

SplitHead or SplitArse? Continued

You may remember this chap . Yep, it's Skidley. No I am not sure what he's doing either. In fact I would hate to hazard a guess! Anyhow, after last weeks post more evidence has come to light concerning the issue of splithead or splitarse? I appreciate the previous photo's appeared to leave no doubt, but after a little more digging around I have unearthed what would seem to the final nail in the coffin of doubt.




Big Al is back in town

After nearly three years away, r' kid, big Al is blowing into town from the USA for two weeks. The only weekend he has that we can squeeze in a full blown footie bender is the Oldham away game on the 18th of November. I've checked the train times, and with one change it takes about an hour and thirty minutes. I will discuss further after the weekly kick off down the Wood. I will contact those who don't play.

King Bacon Banjo


I have decided to throw down the gauntlet, and challenge anybody to find a better bacon buttie than the ones served up at FrankiBs on Thornton Road. I have searched the West Yorkshire district high and low, and can find nothing to match the aforementioned bacon and mushroom with brown sauce on a brown roll. I am more than willing to sample any offerings that may be be suggested, but anyone interested in sampling my favourite, it is located about 200m on the left from four lane ends as you travel towards Bradford.


Honourable Mentions;


Basils, near Station Rd, Clayton

Cafe, off Harrogate Rd, Idle

Shelf Bakery, Halifax Rd, Shelf


Friday, October 13, 2006

City in November

So much fun was had last Saturday at the Mighty Bantams game, we have decided to do it again. Brothers Shouty, King and Funky are keen on Blackpool away, which is on the 28th of October, but unfortunately I am working that day. BOOOOOOOO! The alternatives are Brighton at home on the 4/11/06 or Oldham away on the 18/11/06. As an alternative Halifax Town are playing Stafford Rangers on the 18/11/06. Looking further ahead City take on Donny Rovers on Boxing Day. Any thoughts or other possible outings please post as usual. Cheers.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

JMF upset Elite by Three

In a spirited encounter down the Wood, the Jamon inspired JMF upset the odds to ride their luck to a three goal victory. The JMF got off to to an electric start, opening a five goal lead, aided by three slippery pigs, two let in by Shouty and one by Whats it all about Alfie, mistakes that were compounded by the inept finishing in front of goal by the white booted Euro and Young Gaz. It was fully a quarter of an hour before the valiant elite breached the JMF defence, a Young Gaz effort finally seeing the elite off the mark. The sack strokers of the JMF still maintained their five goal advantage till a late burst reduced the arrears to a mere two goals, but a burst of goal action from I am your father Luke saw the foreskin fluid munchers home to victory. The overjoyed JMF were last seen retiring to the showers to slick each others cocks up. Wankers.

Flout the Shout



Howdy y'all, Slippery T Bacon here. Over the last few weeks I've kinda got a bit tired of putting the "Slam on the Jamon", on the count of it all becoming just too damn easy. What I required was a new challenge, so I went in search of some fella who wouldn't be quite as gormless as that there Jamon. Well I found me a critter that was even easier! Goes by the name of Shouty, so I have created a new move I like to call "Flout the Shout". Even sporting a pig enhancment mask he proved no problem, hell I didn't even need to use no KY. Well back to the drawing board, I'll be seeing ya soon.



Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Jamon returns

The KMF once again become the JMF with the return of captain ring molester Jamon. Whats it all about Alfie crosses from the dark side into the light as replacement for the groin strung Lobon, who takes a two week sabbatical to recover fitness. It will also be the first time Jamon has laid eyes on Euro's gender defying boots.

I have also uploaded Saturdays outing to www.bedersquad.smugmug.com

Monday, October 09, 2006

Bantams 0 Poodles 1




The local League one derby featuring the Mighty Bantams versus the poodles of Huddersfield ended in defeat for the home team. If that wasn't bad enough England couldn't even lift the gloom by beating the distinctly average Macedonia, a dull 0-0 draw was all they could muster. So we all got arseholed, but not as much as Jamon who got wasted big time and needed fetching by his missus, a fate that also befell JohnnyWest, Crespo and King Dave. Dangerous was dangerous, doing headstands on tables, jumping in front of passing traffic and taking on the bouncers in the Ferrands, who didn't see the funny side and kicked him out. We thought that may be the last we saw of him but like a bad penny he appeared as if by magic, looking the worse for wear.
But then again he looked no worse than these four characters;



Can't wait till next time.

He was warned!!!

If you cast your mind back to last month, you may remember the post that highlighted the dangers of looking directly into Jamons eyes for any period of time, due to his nefarious hypnosis technique. Well I feel I need to reiterate this warning to the unwary, as if proof were ever needed, even an experienced JMF fighter can fall prey to the Jamon glare;



Notice even Crespo only managing to take evasive action in the Nick of time. On this occasion Shouty was only saved by the emergency cork Sammyj insisted on him wearing, when she discovered that Jamon would be out cruising in the Bingley area.

SplitHead or SplitArse?



This is Skidley. For years discussion was held as to whether he was a bit of a pussy or not. Although many arguments were put forward, proof has remained for all these years elusive. Until now. If you study the above photo carefully you will notice what appears to be a vagina has taken up residence on his forehead. Not shown in the photograph are the legions of cats who have suddenly started to follow his every move, curiously drawn to the fishy odour that emits from his new found gash. The only upside for the unfortunate Skidley is the JMF have given up trying to recruit him into their turd burgling gang.



Skidley has some fun with his new Punnanni

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Every little bit hurts

Story posted on various web news sites;

In a move that will shock many of its UK customers, TESCO is selling live frogs and turtles at its branches in China. The suffering inflicted on these animals is so extreme that were it to take place in the UK, TESCO directors would undoubtedly face criminal charges. In addition to the most horrendous cruelty, the live turtle and frog trade is acutely environmentally destructive, and is contributing to the rapid extinction of a number of species. Presumably TESCO believe that consumers will remain unaware of the shocking activities they are financing and promoting abroad, while claiming to "promote high standards of animal welfare" in literature issued to customers in the UK. The Tortoise Trust is demanding that TESCO immediately cease all involvement with this revolting trade, and is calling upon the public to shop elsewhere and to avoid all TESCO products and services until they do so. Details of our campaign may be seen at: http://www.tortoisetrust.org/activities/tesco.html Tesco are not alone in abandoning all ethical standards on animal welfare and conservation in the headlong rush to secure profits in China. The US chain WALMART is engaged in almost identical activities, and along with French chain CARREFOUR also offers live snakes (typically killed by being skinned alive) and barbecued pigeons in its Chinese stores. Andy C. Highfield http://www.tortoisetrust.org/

What the???????

After two years of skinning Jamon, and sack fulls of goals against the nefarious JMF, my faithful trainers have finally kicked their last ball in anger and retired to the old shoes bin outside Morrisons.



So I decided to scout through the Grattan catalogue as Elsters mum, the snaggle toothed gypsey, can get 30% off. After leafing through the lingerie section for 45 minutes, I finally looked into the sports shoe section and these masculine looking fellas caught my fancy,

I rang snaggle tooth, put in my order, made sure I requested the black and red variety, and began my patient wait. After the weekend, Elster told me a delivery was waiting at the post office and the in law would have it delivered to her post office on Tuesday. She duly rang me up and I went to get them on my way to the rug rats swimming lessons, putting them in the back of the van to ensure no light fingered thief could make off with them. Unfortunately I totally forgot about them until it was Wednesday and getting time to get ready for footie, when I opened the box;

THE GAYEST TRAINERS IN THE WORLD HAD ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!

What on earth would the JMF say?!?! Would they try and have they're evil way with me!!! Even th Righteous on my own team would take the piss!!! I checked the box, and it said "Colour red and black", my conclusion was an illiterate asylum seeker must be in charge of packing at Grattan. My problem was the previous trainers I possessed now resided at the bottom of a charity shoe bin in Girlington. My only option is in the future to win every tackle, and score vast amounts of goals to dispel campness of my footwear.


KMF sink Righteous by five

With Jamon and Funky not being able to uncouple themselves after mistaking a tube of Bostic for their faithful KY, a King Dave led KMF romped home by five goals to end their win famine last night. Amongst the goals for the limp wristed were "Whats it all about" Alfie and late Funky replacement Mark Clogs, but this weeks man of the match is reserved for "I am your Father" Luke, who rained in goals from all over the pitch, outscoring the usually prolific Dead Eye comfortably. The KMF got off to a flyer opening a three goal lead past Shouty before the Elite mounted a comeback, scoring a hat trick past Alfie. The game then became a cat and mouse affair, the Elite equalising on several occasions before the KMF opened a lead they were not to relinquish. The KMF finally adjusted to Euro's sparkling new white shoes and began to turn the screw. Goals from Shouty and Young Gaz kept it respectable, but a clearly unfit Lobon began to fade and the result was put beyond doubt with a scoring burst that finished with even the well known rimmer that is King Dave adding his name to the score sheet. All things come to an end and we are determined next week to begin another winning streak, especially as prime gaylords Jamon & Funky return.

GAYLORDS TILL THEY DIE, THEY ARE GAYLORDS TILL THEY DIE, THEY KNOW THEY ARE, THEY'RE SURE THEY ARE, THEY'RE GAYORDS TILL THEY DIE!

European Bri

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Mighty Bantams versus Poodles

The JMF and Elite put aside their differences and rejoin the Bender Squad for Saturdays City v Town derby. Returning to the fold are Helmet, The Boy, Lightbulb, Mossy, Crespo and depending on work commitments the King of the Pixies and on his knee injury Grande Queso. Jamons escape tunnel is coming on nicely and barring discovery will be making a long overdue return to the fold. Prior to the match we will be taking on pre-match fluids at Lloyds No. 1 near the town hall, commencing at 11:00 hours, before conferring as to where the England match will be watched post-match, in what promises to be a marathon. Make sure you have nothing planned for Sunday.

JMF become KMF

Spiritual leader and team spunk bag Jamon will be missing at this weeks clash at the Wood, after having his weekly permit to leave his maximum security cell, withheld by CD. Second in command King Dave takes the captains arseband. Apart from it making it safer to venture into the shower, it means "whats it all about" Alfie has been called in as a late replacement. As for the Righteous Elite, the return of Lobon and Shouty signals a return to the original five.

Lobon launches Photo site

Brother Lobon has joined the Internet era by opening his own web space to share his photos. It can be found at http://mickandnoks.spaces.live.com/

To enter, a valid MSN log in is required, or it may need Lobon to grant access. Give it a whirl, there are some decent pics on it, with a comment facility.

Ronald McDonald Spanks the Monkey







JMF vote

October sees the "Biggest Gaylord on the JMF" poll close on the 31st. After opening what appeared to be an unassailable lead, Jamon has seen his lead vanish after the King of Queens Dave has made a late surge towards the finish line. Long time dark horse and well known fudge packer Funky has stalled over the last few weeks, but is more than capable of riding his dildo once again to the front. I am your father Luke and Dead Eye would appear to be rank outsiders, BUT REMEMBER......there is time to make a difference! If you think Jamon laps up Jizz, the Funky one is into fellating, the King enjoys Kock, Luke likes Lobon and Dead Eye loves Japs eye register yor vote at Who is the biggest gaylord on the J.M.F?