"I Ain't Gettin' on No Train, Crazy Fool!"

With the Scunthorpe bender under two weeks away, bender squad stalwart JohnnyMedia has decided not to partake after realising the mode of transportation that was being used to reach our destination. The mishap at Skipton station is too fresh in his memory, and when informed of our travel means declared "I ain't gettin' on no train, crazy fool!" We have a devious plan to spike his drink and smuggle him on, but he has got wise to our game, and is refusing to accept any beverages offered. I did consider smacking him over the head with a blunt instrument, but couldn't think of anything as blunt as his noodle.