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Monday, June 04, 2007

Back in Town

Way aye me hearties, I have returned from the coast of Northhumberland in fine spirits after a week of burgering and boozing in Viking country. The weather was hit and miss but still managed to get sun burnt. Stayed in a real nice place in Seahouses, with a nice open spiral stair case that ties in with one of my escapades. The best thing about this gaffe though, was it's close proximity to a salty sea dog pub called the ship
With plenty of sea faring paraphernalia hanging from it's ceiling and bar, I spotted this Toby jug, would of been great for swilling rum out of, but I couldn't purloin it as they kept it locked in a glass cabinet. Which brings me back to the open plan nature of the staircase. After going out with Big Frank, who had popped up for the evening, I was pretty greased and pitched into bed, and was snoring within seconds. The Elster took a huff, and went get some kip on the sofa downstairs. Well sometimes when I am staying in an unfamiliar place, I sleep walk, and this evening was one of those nights. I was rudely awoken by the Elster shouting out my name and calling me a dirty bastard. As I slowly came round, I became aware that I was holding my dick in my hand, and pissing off the spiral staircase straight into the Elsters trainers! She was not impressed, let me tell you! Luckily by morning she came round a bit, and even saw the funny side, but I have the feeling she's gonna get a new pair of shoes out of me. The rest of the holiday passed off without too much incident, although I did get told to Fuck Off! by a psychotic bike rider in Edinburgh, where I also squeezed in a whiskey tour when the Elster wasn't looking. I would have made this posting earlier, but decided on my arrival back in Bradford to checkout what was going on down the George, and you've guessed it, got wankered on Guiness and ended up ligged on the sofa with a thick head all day. Not much has been happening, but something odd did happen.

Young Paddy, who is boisterous and loud, but usually even tempered, threw a wobbler with his best mate, Shaun, and went for him. Much weirdness! After a bit of handbags, everything seemed cool, but the mad muck mover tried to take him out again, and took out half the beer glasses in the pub in the process

Paddy about to go Postal

"What Happened????"

By the Way you are all miles out on the McOdyssey.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Tiss good ta see ya mastered thee art of thee elevated piss.
Tiss the only way ta piss wen at sea.
As te thee rum goblet, arr remember leavin it aft a 9 day bender of historic baffoonary wen we pillaged thee tall ships in 1674.
Keep up the good work young pirate.

Yours Pirately
Black Beard