Hello folks. With McEuro on a current sabbatical, I needed to think up a thread to replace it's old Tuesday evening slot. Late last year I turned 40, an age where you have not yet turned into a grumpy old curmudgeon, who harps on for hours about how great everything was back in the day, and how everything now is shite by comparison. Alternatively, I am no longer a young gad about town, convinced that everything new and shiny is the dogs bolloxs, and makes all that has gone before it, rancid spud water. Yet there are things I find myself wishing were still around. A lot of it may well be the mid life longings of a fella slightly past his sell by date, but I think in most cases I have a pretty good point, when I waffle on about things that ain't what they were....
This week I miss....Proper old school porn. You know what I mean. The stuff you used to find under your old mans bed, or stuffed down the back of the Chester drawers in an unmarked video case. Even better, the magazine some kid nicked off his older brother, and brought on to the school bus for you all to ogle on your way to another boring day in the classroom. Playboy, Penthouse, Mayfair, Men Only, Razzle....the mere mention these names bring on a semi. The English magazines wer
e always my favourites. They weren't quite as polished as their US counterparts, the birds were always little bit plumper for starters, but I always liked it that way, plus the readers letters were more believable. I really liked the cartoon in Mayfair, where some buxom chick, whose name eludes me, always ended up in some predicament that ended with her in the buff. Quality. Around about 1980/1, Video players arrived, and a whole new world opened up. My first "bluey", as we liked to call them, featured the Legendary Johnny Holmes, and during school holidays it was around to a mates house, where about ten of us would sit in front of the television, eyes popping out, chins on the deck, hidings our stork ons with a well positioned cushion. As time passes on, we all lose touch with our old buddies, and actually get to sample what we saw on tape for real. Porn, for most of us went bye the bye, until the wonders of the internet came along, and my how things had changed. Once a couple of pictures of a naked bird proudly posing in the all together was all that was showed. Now they strike poses that you can practically see what they had for lunch. Three days ago! Long gone are the pert buxom ladies of my youth, replaced by hyper inflated bimbos, that somehow manage to take super large penis's up every orifice simultaneously. And where has all the pubic hair gone? I don't mean big bushy afro style pussies, but a little bit of curly hair wouldn't go amiss. Those ginormous, silicon enhanced boobies. I am surprised the geezer giving it to them doesn't require goggles, cause it looks like they could have someone's eye out with the valves that have replaced nipples. And while we are on the subject of the geezers, where have all the moustaches gone? There also used to be some attempt at a storyline as well, which was great, if for nothing else, to laugh at the hapless acting, or Dutch accents, before they got it on. Now it's just wham, bam, thank you mam, and on to the next cum bucket. All you guys under thirty are probably wondering what the fuck I am on about, but if you can, download Deep Throat or Debbie does Dallas for a taste of what I am on about. Bushy fannies, real tiities, moustaches, bad acting and corny jokes, plus it was all financed by the Mafia. How much cooler do you want it? Wish I had saved those old jazz mags as well, they might be worth something now. Well if all the pages hadn't been stuck together they might have.
This week I miss....Proper old school porn. You know what I mean. The stuff you used to find under your old mans bed, or stuffed down the back of the Chester drawers in an unmarked video case. Even better, the magazine some kid nicked off his older brother, and brought on to the school bus for you all to ogle on your way to another boring day in the classroom. Playboy, Penthouse, Mayfair, Men Only, Razzle....the mere mention these names bring on a semi. The English magazines wer
e always my favourites. They weren't quite as polished as their US counterparts, the birds were always little bit plumper for starters, but I always liked it that way, plus the readers letters were more believable. I really liked the cartoon in Mayfair, where some buxom chick, whose name eludes me, always ended up in some predicament that ended with her in the buff. Quality. Around about 1980/1, Video players arrived, and a whole new world opened up. My first "bluey", as we liked to call them, featured the Legendary Johnny Holmes, and during school holidays it was around to a mates house, where about ten of us would sit in front of the television, eyes popping out, chins on the deck, hidings our stork ons with a well positioned cushion. As time passes on, we all lose touch with our old buddies, and actually get to sample what we saw on tape for real. Porn, for most of us went bye the bye, until the wonders of the internet came along, and my how things had changed. Once a couple of pictures of a naked bird proudly posing in the all together was all that was showed. Now they strike poses that you can practically see what they had for lunch. Three days ago! Long gone are the pert buxom ladies of my youth, replaced by hyper inflated bimbos, that somehow manage to take super large penis's up every orifice simultaneously. And where has all the pubic hair gone? I don't mean big bushy afro style pussies, but a little bit of curly hair wouldn't go amiss. Those ginormous, silicon enhanced boobies. I am surprised the geezer giving it to them doesn't require goggles, cause it looks like they could have someone's eye out with the valves that have replaced nipples. And while we are on the subject of the geezers, where have all the moustaches gone? There also used to be some attempt at a storyline as well, which was great, if for nothing else, to laugh at the hapless acting, or Dutch accents, before they got it on. Now it's just wham, bam, thank you mam, and on to the next cum bucket. All you guys under thirty are probably wondering what the fuck I am on about, but if you can, download Deep Throat or Debbie does Dallas for a taste of what I am on about. Bushy fannies, real tiities, moustaches, bad acting and corny jokes, plus it was all financed by the Mafia. How much cooler do you want it? Wish I had saved those old jazz mags as well, they might be worth something now. Well if all the pages hadn't been stuck together they might have.
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