JMF Juggernaut Keeps Rolling

The mind boggles. Five wins in a row for a team that in July seemed finished. What makes it worse, is we never really threatened to turn the tide, being behind from start to finish. The first goal pretty much summed up our performance. Two Scoops was playing around with the netting, his mind miles adrift of the game. King Dave took note of his absence, and slotted the ball home from his own half. It was one of the most weak ass goals I have ever seen scored, but you had to laugh, as it was one of the funniest I have witnessed as well. The look on Mickeys face was priceless, but not as funny as his bizarre attempts to blame someone else. But like I mentioned, it was pretty much endemic of our half assed display in General. We played some great stuff one minute, and the next were left gawping as the MoFo scored at will. Our goals were crafted moments of skill and aspiration, lovingly compiled through minutes of artistic endeavour. The MoFo's were were workmanlike goals devoid of any grace. But scored at pace, and by the bucket load. I seems mean to pick on any one for our beating, but there were moments of pure shite from all of us. Except Clogs, who must be considering slapping in a transfer request. First up the Mighty Shoutsters keeping display. Unlike Two Scoops effort mentioned above, the Shoutster was the epitome of concentration as Luklear shot a medium paced daisy cutter from distance. As the ball slowly made its way towards the bottom corner, he seemed to have it comfortably under control. But at the last moment, instead of following through on his original plan to kick it, he decided to pick it up. All at the same time. This confused him greatly, as he proceeded to dive over the ball as it lamely crossed the line. His Dad does the same thing when he plays. This was only slightly more comical than his air kick later in the game. Next up between the sticks was the good Dr Shotgun, who also has his own patented style of goal keeping gaffe, the "How the fuck did that go in?" effort. This is the one where he sets himself to repel a shot struck right at him, only at the last moment for a big hole to open in his midriff, to allow the ball pass through him into the goal. His look of astonishment at the ball nestled in the back of the onion bag, wondering how the Dickens it got there, is also priceless. And as for my good self? I seem to be struck with a strange debilitating inability to move for weakly struck efforts. I stand motionless, paralysed if you will, as I watch the ball slowly trundle past me into the net. I know I should be moving to prevent this happening, but remain rooted to the spot. Two Scoops always mutters something under his breath, and gives a look as if to wonder if I am somehow mentally retarded. The odd thing is, we used to be the team that had the best goalies, whilst the JMF were populated by a bunch of fairies who cowered and shook at the very prospect of having to block a shot. Of course this could be down to our shooting. Last week it was yours truly who was unable to spank a cows backside with a banjo. This week, yet again, there were plenty of candidates for the spec savers award. Shouty was wayward and Two Scoops had his high wide and handsome hat on. In comparison to tonight's winner though, they were Gerd Muller and Ian Rush. Dr Shotgun not only lived up to his name, but truly surpassed it. For one week only, he will be known as Dr Magoo, as he endured a spell that is unlikely to be repeated. Ever. He wouldn't have hit space if he had fallen off the planet. Even the opposition was willing him to score, as he conspired to either shoot straight at the keeper, or hit the corners. Of the hall. I am beginning to wonder if white is his Kryptonite. It was a Keystone Cop performance from the whole team, however. We kept it close, by some miracle till there was about 15 minutes left, and then the floodgates opened. We lost by loads. And what made it worse was the fact they didn't have to play that well. Let's hope this was the wake up call we needed.

Line-ups;

JMF- Funky, Dead Eye, Young Gaz, Luklear War and King Dave

EURO E- Euro Bri, Two Scoops, Clogs, Shouty and Dr Magoo

2009 Season

JMF wins - 19

Euro Elite - 17

Draws - 2