Furry Lugs

Over the last couple of years i seem to have been struck down with a strange curse. Furry Lugs. I go to bed on a night, and wake up the next morning, and there always seems to be a one inch hair sticking out of me lughole. Where the fuck did it come from? And there is always one for each ear. Why? How? What? Complete strangers walk up to me in the street, and say "Stay still" just before they yank out one of the little blighters out. I've bought an ear hair trimmer, but that appears to have pissed them off, as now instead of just one or two long straight ones, I am starting to get little curly ones that are hiding just inside the folded bits. Perhaps my knackers are migrating to the sides of my heed. I don't know what the devil is happening but it ain't half pissing me off.