Are you man enough?

The yogurt munching health fascists have got their knickers in a twist over the new 923 calorie Double Whopper from Burger King, see http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?view=DETAILS&grid=&xml=/health/2006/11/06/nburger06.xml It seems the company's "Are you man enough?" advertising campaign is going to cause all us weak minded impressionable fellas to go out and gorge ourselves to death on these over sized Goliaths. Well let me tell you something you poncy tofu munching do gooding liberal wankers, the only reason I am going to have a try of this artery clogging beast is because of your po faced protests. Who the fuck do these people think they are? If I want to stuff a half pound of dead animal carcass down my throat what business is it of theirs? None. Now they have made social pariahs of smokers, it appears tasty food is next on the agenda. Or is it?

Even more worryingly alcohol appears to be under threat from "those who know best." Well let me put something straight right here and now. Binge drinking is great. I love to drink as much beer as possible on an empty stomach, until in fact I can't pour anymore down my gullet. Then I like to move on to whiskey, single malt of course, until I wobble of home to pass out on the living room floor. This is pretty much par for the course when the lads and lasses get together. It has been for over 20 years now, and there hasn't been one casualty. But now health ministers want to tax it out of existence. How surprising, we're taxed out our arse's on everything else. I don't see what the problem is, maybe if they partook they wouldn't have to pay rent boys for sex or interbreed. Even young Ewan Blair likes to get wankered now and again, and who can blame him with parents like that. Lets not forget Prince Harry, god bless him, pissed up with a cigarette in a Nazi uniform. That's what I call a role model. If they really wanted to cut down on anti social behaviour what they need to do is round up all the benefit claiming, free loading, track suit wearing scum they seem so fond of saving, and send them to Iraq. I'll tell you, support for the war would go through the roof!

So to all you blue sky thinking, diversity loving piss flaps, FUCK OFF!

Short, Fat, Pissed and Proud!