Far from Over

Well who would of thought it. With a mere 46 days remaining till the crowning of "Le Grand Buffoon 2009" we have a contest. After his Scottish exploits, the last few weeks were expected to be some what of a procession, as Helmet became the latest recipient of the Le Maillot Jaune. But in a mad moment of sheer stupidity, the reigning champion, the Right Honourable Shoutster, has thrown his hat into the ring. We were all sat in the Villager on Saturday night, enjoying a gallon of post match beer, when the subject of blow jobs arose. In true Shouty style, he announced that his current squeeze, gave the best BJ that he had ever had. It was magnificent he said, and proceeded to articulate just how earth shattering it was. After he finished his eulogy to his birds sucking power, I asked the question, as you do, "Does she swallow or spit?" He looked at me for moment, and then said "I don't cum." There was a brief spell of silence, as myself, Helemt, Crespo, Gary and Mark took this last utterance on board. And then we had a field day. The best blow job ever, and you don't shoot your fat?!?! What a buffoon! we asked if his best Christmas was the one when he got no presents. Or if his favourite holiday was the one where he booked an all inclusive to the Bahamas, went to the airport, and then turned around and went home. Or was his worst shags, the ones when he ejaculated? There were three members present, and it was agreed, pretty much unanimously that this statement was worth six points. But he wouldn't let it lie, and immediately called for an appeal, which was duly heard, considered and rejected in the space of a nano-second. Which meant, as is written down in the Laws of Idiocy, that his points were doubled. Helmet wanted to give him an extra two, for being stupid enough to appeal, but we let him off, although he had a good point. Nobody has ever had a successful appeal. Because nobody has been stupid enough to do it! As if you are going to be let off the hook. This puts a whole new outlook on the table, as we now have joint leaders;

1. Helmet 39 points
2. Shouty 39 points
3. Euro Bri 22 points
4. Funky 22 points
5. Mad Ad 21 points
   
6. Lefty 14 points
   
7. Crespo 14 points
8. Sprocket 9 points
   
9. Pembo 4 points
10. Maffy 4 points
11. Skid 4 points
12. John the Don 4 points
    
13. Dr Shotgun 2 points
14. G Spot 1 point

I am a little worried though, as I haven't figured out a tie breaker yet. Any suggestions will be warmly received.