Battle of the Brews: The Wife Beaters

This is a new thread, in witch I aim to discover which beer gets the Bender Squad official endorsement of King Beer. The aim is to start with a qualifying round, to find the best beer of it's genre, and then to pit them against the others in an unscientific, pulled out of a hat round robin elimination, culminating in a final tete-a-tete to crowned the ultimate ale.

First up in the qualifiers are a trio of beers, that have one time or anther, been referred to as wife beaters. This moniker was gained when they were first introduced unto an suspecting British public in the earl;y 1980's. The typical draught lager served up in the traditional British pub prior to the wife beater was an unappetising affair. Delights such as Skol, Hoffmeister, Alpine and Harp were all that was on offer, and most of these contained the alcohol content found in a packet of Maynards wine gums. This meant you could power drink insane amounts of ale, and still be reasonably capable of going home in a reasonable state. The unaware lager drinker attacked the powerful WB's (Wife beater's) unaware that the alcohol intake in comparison was double, and went home wankered, argued with the missus and gave her a back hander. Now this site in no way condones violence of any sort, and I would like to point out that much of what has been written in this paragraph is more urban myth than cold fact, but the name stuck, and it is quite amusing to ask for a pint of wife beater. So the nominations for King of the Wife Beaters are as follows;

Kronenberg 1664
The original strong continental style beer. A French lager, it is that country's top selling lager, and boasts that it is the United Kingdoms second best selling premium lager. Premium is a word you will notice associated with all these beers. It is corporate way of saying wife beater. Anyway, it is a crisp tasting brew, and the new cans have a widget in it that make the bubbles smaller, resulting in a smoother taste according to the advert. It weighs in at 5% alcoholic content, and is very enjoyable. It is the only one that doesn't have it's own bastardized version of a verb, and as such is probably not as widely known as the two brews it finds it self up against.

Carlsberg Export
The "Premium" offering from the world famous Danish beer giant that is Carlsberg. It is the Johnny come lately of the trio to these shores, and after a spell of high popularity, has become less easy to find on draft. i blame the health Nazi. Anyway, this one also ways in at 5% ABV, but unlike the previous offering has a more distinct taste, and in my view is not a smooth. Of course the fact that it does have a taste endears it to folk who prefer their brew to have bite. Unlike it's French oppo, this one does have it own verb, as in "Exported." An example would be, "I pissed the bed last night. I was well Exported."

Stella Artois
The tabloids favourite "Premium" lager, and the first to have the wife beater tag attached to it. It also gained prominence as the drink du jour of the lager lout. It's ABV has been cut from 5.2% down to 5%, but it will always carry the cache of evilness, no matter how many clever adverts are screened. It is kind of ironic that this Belgian beer was launched at a more discerning drinker (remember the reassuringly expensive campaign?) only to be appropriated by the Neanderthal Beer Monster. To be fair, it isn't a bad drop, has a nice flavour, and is refreshing, but it will fuck you up. Also known as being "Stellarized"

So those are the choices. If you take a gander up to the top right hand corner, you will spy a box asking for you to enter your vote for the beer that shall progress through to the knock out phase. Of course, there is a small possibility that I have forgotten to ad a worthy nomination to this list, and as ever please feel free to enter your thoughts in the comments section. Dependant on voting, the results will be counted up at this time next week, and I will enter the next batch of qualifiers to stand for public scrutiny. May the best beer win.