Sore Arm and More Buffoon Points

I was hoping to get caught up with some posts last night, but my arm was a wee bit tender. No not from an overdose of penis pulling (they don't call me Funky), but from my New Years resolution. In an attempt to stem the tide of my middle age spread, I have decided to try and cut back on the junk food, and take up some extra exercise. Now let me tell you straight, it will be a cold dark day in Hell before you catch me in any gym, so in an effort to diversify, I was talked into trying a game of squash with big JohnnyM and Dr Shotgun. The game itself is as stupid as the day is long, the ball ( or whatever it is called) has a mind of its own, bouncing here, there and every fucking where. And what's with the walls? I nearly concussed myself on several occasions, chasing a piss taking rubber thingy. Did I win? Did I bolloxs. I thought I had Shotgun on the ropes in my first attempt, going six points up to nil, but I started trying to act like I knew what I was doing, and was vanquished in double quick time. At least I didn't lose any games to nil. Will give it another whirl, I think, but it will never replace five a side.

On to the buffoon point. I know you are all thinking it was my good self who picked up the score, doing something spectacularly numb on the squash court, but it wasn't. I always thought that health and safety nonsense about answering your phone whilst driving was utter rubbish. But the good Doctor showed me the perils. As we drove up Southfield Road, his dog and bone rang. But he must have been concentrating to hard on the road, as instead of answering it, he slapped himself in the face with it! It was a beauty, he hit himself so hard he switched the phone off, and nearly cut himself. Priceless. I wasn't sure how to score it, but have looked up the points scoring system, and reckon it falls in the slapstick category, which warrants a Muppet, and two points. Welcome aboard Dr Shotgun.

1. Tony Helmet 10 points
2. Euro Bri 7 points
3. Shouty 6 points
4. Crespo 4 points
5. Pembo 4 points
6. Dr Shotgun 2 points
   
7. Funky 1 point
8. G-Spot 1 point