Funky 0 Law £160

The result is in (apologies for lateness, been laid low by stomach trouble), and as predicted the Law strolled to an easy victory, In Funkys defence though, the outcome could have been far more one sided. We rolled up on time at Hakifax Magistrates, got through security and took our place among council tax dodgers and drug addicts and settled in to wait. Luckily for the Funkmeister though his guardian angel hadn't rung in sick, and help came from an unlikely source. Whilst waiting for video evidence to arrive for the case in session, the prosecutor took time out to speak to the Pedestrian and pretty much told him how to plead, his excuse for pleading not guilty on his previous appearance, and lined up another court for him to be seen in, so we didn't have to hang around. This did deny myself and Crespo the chance to see the F.P. stand up and do his best "You can't handle the truth!" Hollywood court speech. Instead he stood with a goofy grin on his visage, framed by his orange Mexico tan, and pleaded guilty. The result was a £85 fine for speeding and £75 court costs, total £160, and three points to be added to his licence when he gets it back. Considering he could have been whacked with a £1000 fine and a longer ban, it was a good result. We retired to the boozer to celebrate, having his missus on that he had been banged up, which she didn't find as amusing as me Crespo and Funky did. We also got embroiled in the middle of a chav scrap in some dodgy Halifax dive, which seemed to involve a lot of screeching bints, and blokes in iffy sports wear threatening each other with dismemberment without actually coming to blows. High entertainment indeed.