Le Grand Buffoon 2009

Our first points have been scored, and on the first day of reckoning for 2009 to boot. Pembo, feeling lucky, took himself off to the bookies to try and win himself some brass. He filled in his coupon, and paid at the counter, but something didn't seem right. Not being able to put his finger on what was troubling him, he took a picture of his slip and texted it on to Aki. He asked "Is this betting slip for half time scores?" failing to notice the big bold text at the top of his wager, quite clearly legible, that read "Half Time Scores." Bless. But this did raise the thorny question, what is a point, and how do you rank them? So below I am laying out the scoring and rating, from solitary points, to 10 pointers.

• Knobhead (1 point)- Scored for stating something as fact, only to be almost immediately corrected. Examples are, "Heckmondwike is just up this road" (Me to Bakes), shortly before passing a sign welcoming us to Hipperholme. "You defend like a second division team!!" (Helmet to all around him at a Bradford City game), before being politely reminded that we are indeed a second division team.
• Muppet (2 points)- Scored for drunken idiotry such as losing wallets, house keys and jackets. A Munich Incident. Falling off things.
• Eejit (4 points)- A good example is that stated above. Something so woefully stupid that you have to ask somebady else if you have indeed been that dumb. Shouty thinking it was midnight when he rolled up to Crespos, when in fact it was eight o'clock, is another fine example.
• Fuck Wit (6 points)- A combination of the previous three. Example, if you shit your pants whilst saying "Viva Espagna" to a bunch a Mexicans. Picking up some driftwood knobhead that you can't shake on a night out (A Jannetta speciality). Getting lost, especially abroad, and having to fork out a fortune to a local taxi driver. Waving food at bouncers, while telling them you will have them sacked. Falling asleep in public toilets. Head butting horses.
  
• Buffoon (10 points)- Idiocy of Legendary proportions. Funkys mobile phone. John the Dons motor home diesel overspill. Bakes five finger shuffle in front of his mum. Shoutys toilet paper trick. Jamons passport. etc.
  

These are just examples, and if you can think of any thing I may have missed, please let me know. Incidents of stupidity should always be discussed, and the relevant points will be awarded only after agreement between a minimum of three Bender Squad members. Once the points have been allocated, there will be an allowance of one appeal. This can lead to the points scored being rescinded, but may also result in extra points, if it is felt you have wasted my time. When the points are given, I will add them to a table, that will be used to award the coveted "Maillot Jaune" to the deserving recipient, thus preventing the blatant cheating carried out by the Right Honourable on this years poll.

So this years table, appeal withstanding reads;

1. Pembo 4 Points

Please post any nominations in the comments section, or contact me through the relevant channels. Let the stupidity commence.