MC United draw blank in Bank Holiday 5 a side tournament

Malcolm C's ill fated MC United today disbanded after failing to find the back of the net in 5 games during a charity fundraiser in Shipley, a tournament marred by the career threatening injury to goalkeeper "Flying Steve", aka Grande Queso. A promising start of two draws by euro, MC, queso, nino and young Stuart counted for nought as some geezers wearing pink beat the United by two, the second goal resulting in the horror injury to the Flying Cheese. After winching him to the sidelines and trying to revive him with Strongbow his missus wheeled him off home to recuperate, MC's wife replacing him between the sticks. We fancied our chances in the next match, our opponents out weighing us by at least 100 stones, but poor finishing and a goal against the run of play left us with only pride to play for, our next match against a team featuring a nine year old and four girlies. Yet agian we failed to find the back of the net, the ample female goalkeeper proving to be our nemesis, saving one goalbound shot with her 44DD left breast. Just as Euro looked to be going on a game winning run, he was flattened by a ginger haired nine year old and all hope was lost. We started our final game determined to score, but an early chance was spurned by MC who rifled against the post with the goal at his mercy. Yet another 0-0 draw.

Our final tally;
Played 5
Won 0
Drew 3
Lost 2
For 0
Agin 3

Queso has on medical advise decided to hang up his clogs. Although this will probably prove to be a one off, never say never. MC has said next time he won't wear jeans, Nino wont be hung over and euro will put his trainers on the right feet.