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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Spring Buffoon Update

It has been a while, for sure, but the end of the winter silly season and the start of the sunny silly season, are often quite a fallow time. But the tree's are beginning to flower, and folk are starting to cast of the winters woe's. And there was a Bender in Berlin. Granted there were but four of us who made the journey, but as usual idiocy was about. Although not as much as usual. There was the usual one point verbal fuck ups. major asking for a Turkish coffee in a Greek style taverna. Downhill asking if the Brandenburg gate was some kind of bar. Then earning an extra point by trying to claim he didn't know what we were on about because we didn't say it in German. We know your from Shipley duggy, so nice try, but it ain't going to fly. I myself scored a for pointer, after leaning against a door and ending up flat on my bask, Del Boy style. So what of former winner, and perennial contender Shouty? Of course he came home top scorer, but not as highly as is usually anticipated. His main boner was being unable to work out how to get back to his hotel room in the early hours. So he had himself a kip on the street. After a concerned passer by asked if he required the police, fearful he had been mugged, he moved to the nearby U-Bahn station to continue his snooze. Eventually he realised where his digs were. Across the road, about 20 metres from where he originally laid his head. Five points. We were going to award him another for falling asleep in a jazz club, but he had been up all night. But he does score one for mistaking the piano player for a man, even after she pointed out to him that she was a her.

On the home front, John the Don scores one point for just being John the Don, and Crespo say's Sandro deserves on, but I can't remember what for. Child catcher gets a point as well, for a misdemeanour that also slips my mind. Current leader Dessi keeps his challenge. Coming back from Greece via Dusseldorf, the plant pot managed to smash two killepitsh bottles on the shuttle to the plane. This earned him a bollocking from the driver, and my personal ire, as one of 'em was mine. A definite two points. Last up, in a similar vein comes Sprocket. I asked him to bring some Belgian beer back from his trip to Bruges. Instead of stopping at a local Carrefour, he decided to drive right across Belgium, past all the French supermarkets, and straight into the Chunnel terminal. Which doesn't sell them. Either that or he is lying to me, and has drunk them all. He is still getting a point, the toss pot.... Current standings in the race for the Maillot Jaune.

  1. Dessi 22 points
  2. Euro Bri 20 points
  3. Il Fromaggio Grande 16 points
  4. Papillion 15 points
  5. Shouty 9 points
  6. Trigger 7 points
  7. G Spot 7 points
  8. Crespo 7 points
  9. Gruber 4 points
  10. JohhnyM 3 points
  11. Geester 3 points
  12. John the Don 2 points
  13. King of the Pixies 2 points
  14. Child Catcher 2 points
  15. King of the Pixies 1 point
  16. Sprocket 1 point
  17. Daniel-san 1 point
  18. Big JB 1 point

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