Morgen Fliege

At least that's how i think you say morning flight in German. Any way, the annual 1860 trip is upon us, and tomorrow night I shall be hopefully watching Der Lowen upset top of the table Hertha Berlin. Then it's four days of hedonistic frivolity around the Deutshland capital, with the Right Honourable Shouty, Major and Duggy. Shame there wasn't more takers, but times are tough for a few of the lads, and the rest couldn't get time off for good behaviour. Remember though, I will be trying to set up an adventure to see our Swiss brothers in either September or October. So get saving, and will see you some time next week. Tchus....

Killer Keisters

I know I am bit early this week, but I shall be away from my desk top for the next five days, so it is an early treat this week. And first up is a treat. Dressed in nowt but a pair of socks, reaching for that hidden bluey.... Next up something we haven't featured for a spell. A nice black and white shot. Gives it a touch of class don't you think?


Gruber brought up a very good point recently, about the numerous photos featured on here with a pair of buttocks covered in sand. A very good good point Herr Wayne. So for this weeks G.A.S. I have gone the exact opposite. Behold an extreme close of a pert keister, dimpled with water drops. See you next week ass fans....

FA Cup-A Quick Reminder

I shall be compiling a more comprehensive post on the annual FA Cup bender when I return from Berlin. Just a quick reminder of the date- 14/5/2011, and the location- Wakefield. We tried to get there last year, and failed miserably. So this year we are making it a definite. So get yourself sorted!

Bank Holiday Bender?

This is why I shouldn't listen to anybody concerning our benders. I put it out there, to a combination of vote, straw poll and general feed back. Every instinct told me to organise one on the Good friday, but I got hood winked into making it on Easter Sunday. All and sundry said they would be there, and in a way they were. Just all in different places. I had my suspicions from the outset, and slowly they were confirmed. Crespo and Helmet, the main instigators for a Sunday I might add, totally forgot about family commitments they had made, and were way laid till late in the afternoon. To compound matters, Crespo forgot to ring Sandro, who went into the Villagers and refused to move. Shouty, on the other hand, stayed ligged up in bed till gone five o'clock. This left me and Big JohnnyM enjoying the sunshine, beer, bourbon and Polish birds outside Lloyds in Centenary Square. Eventually Clogs and Shaun showed up, followed by Kev, and even more surprisingly, the Boy Dazzler. At around eight thirty, the Big Man and Dazzler called it quits, and the rest of us headed to Saltaire. At around eleven thirty, I was toast, and left Clogs, Crespo and Shouty to it. They managed to keep out till the wee hours. It was a tag team bender of sorts. So next time, I will call it myself, even if this means that I am the only geezer out.

PC Trouble

Well, I was hoping to post an Away Day after last Saturdays Park Avenue game, but my computer is playing silly twats at the moment, after I acquired some form of malware. This means I can not upload pictures at present which means the post would be a bit pointless. Have no fear though, as G-Spot is on the case, and should hopefully be sorting it out in the next few weeks. Once my machine has been reformatted, I will endeavour to rectify the situation.

Change of Scenery, Change of Team

What an odd evening. At one point it looked like the weekly tussle would be cancelled, as numerous MoFoers dropped out. To compound matters, all our reserves seemed to be away at the same time. A big shout out to Clogs and Shotgun for pulling three rabbits out of a hat, and ensuring that a game was played. Add to the new look JMF, which had but two of their regular starters on show, a new court, which in the words of Shouty was "Too small, too shiny, too short, too wide, too fast and too slow." ( A lot of too's in there. Hope I used them correctly, or Kev will be giving me a lecture) As you can guess from his tirade, it didn't go well for the Righteous. It started of well, the game was shaping up to be a tight run affair, but the lads in white just couldn't seem to come to terms with the different dimensions, whilst the new look JMF did. And we got hammered. Shouty seemed to save everything hit at him, as long as it wasn't a trundler, of which he seemed to shepard into the back of the net. Still he was not entirely to blame, as Clogs dusted down his finest pair of wooden Dutch footwear, and proceeded to blaze shot after shot high and wide. The MoFo also had much younger legs to rely on, and boy did it show. Hopefully the old female dodgers will return next week, and our spiritual home will be back in service.

Moment of Match: Messi was not the only fella to slalom his way through a packed defense to score last night. Old European Bri rolled back the years, and showed the young bucks that there is still a sliver of skill in his old body. A jinking run past three of them was finished with aplomb. Sadly it is a sight that is not seen to often these days......


JMF- The Mercenary, Luclear War, Young Gaz, Jinking Josh and Bazooka Joe

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Shouty, Fl-Ash and Dr Shotgun

2011 Season

JMF wins - 7

Euro Elite - 8


Draws - 2

A Glimpse of Things to Come?

As you may, or may not know, Bradford City have had their worst season since the mid seventies, and although it looks unlikely it will happen, are flirting precariously with relegation into the no mans land of semi professional football. My those Premier League days seem a long time a go.... So to get a glimpse of what might be on offer next season, I have finally succumbed to Shoutys badgering, and am off to watch Bradford Park Avenue this afternoon. It will be the first away day since the Shrewsbury game last August, and I am looking forward to checking out the pies. It should also provide a nice contrast to our destination next weekend, when we take in the Mighty Lowen at the Berlin Olympic Stadium. Come on the AVENUE!! As I believe the chant goes.

Killer Keisters

Happy Easter ass fans! I was hoping this week to feature some Keisters with an Easter style theme, but it proved a fruitless search. I know there are plenty Playboy Bunny options, but I never felt the costume did much for the female posterior. Instead I found this lovely bronzed offering, featuring a saint of some description. For arguments sake lets just say it's St. Mary. The one below has nothing to do with either eggs or bonnets. It is just a seriously fit bird, giving it the come hither over the shoulder look, whilst in the nip. And sporting a mighty fine arse, as you would expect.

For the one below, I decided to go for something a bit more understated. Something that leaves a little to the imagination. Pert keister, stockings, white panties and just enough on show to perk up even the Pope. An instant classic, and straight into my top ten shots that have been featured on this thread.



So onto this weeks G.A.S. An interesting angle, I am sure you will agree, and the fine blond down on her butt is quite a turn on. Enjoy the holidays!

Easter Bender - the Result

As you can gather, due to me sat in front of my PC posting this, that Good Friday was out voted as the date for our annual Easter shindig. The winner of my little poll was Monday, but this was down to some skull duggery committed by a member who could only make it out that day. The final decision there fore has been for Sunday. We are meeting up at Lloyds between 12 and 1, and from there? Who can tell. There has been talk of maybe Leeds, but with the trains running on a restricted service, it looks doubtful. So sunny Bradford, and the surrounding district looks likely to be our playground. As the old adage goes, it's not where you go, it's who you are with.

Late Sub comes up Trumps

A mighty tussle down the Wood last night, as a much changed MoFo looked to break out of a three game losing streak. With the late addition of Young Gaz, they looked to have a distinct edge, as once again the Shotster left his gallant team mates in the lurch. Still, we have become accustomed to his absence, and Big Phil the Octopus is fast becoming an integral component in the Righteous line up. It was a warm evening, and it called for a more measured style of play, but this is England, and we played the English style, full on, at break neck speed. This meant end to end action, but some solid defending by the Righteous, combined with some woeful keeping from the Mercenary, saw the boys in white eek out a slim advantage. We held on to our lead till the halfway mark had been passed, but the older legs of the Euro boys began to show, and the JMF gained an upper hand. Still, we held out, but the probing runs by Young Gaz and Lukclear War were sapping the energy of the Elites rearguard. Finally, they managed to gain the upper hand, and the jig was up. A well earned win, in a hard game.

Moment of match:
The Octopus was once known as a bit of a lemon between the sticks, but no more. Gordon Banks himself would have been proud of the majestic save Big Phil pulled off. As the ball arrowed for the bottom left corner, our erstwhile hero looked to have been beat all hands up, as stumbled across the goal line, like a drunken walrus. But just as all hope seemed lost, he pounced, elephant like, arm extended, to tip the ball around the post. I have been playing down the Wood for over 17 years, and I can not recall a finer save.


JMF- The Mercenary, Luclear War, Dead Eye, King Dave and Young Gaz

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Crespo, Big Phil the Octopus and Dr Shotgun

2011 Season

JMF wins - 6

Euro Elite - 8


Draws - 2

Killer Keisters

Hola, and welcome to this weeks Killer Keisters. Now I have absolutely no idea what is happening above, but I am all for it. Why there would be so much fine keister lined up in such a pert little row, is to be frank, beyond me. I do know that whatever it is, should be made law, immediately. Would be fun to run along with one of those bendy shatterproof rulers....... Sticking with the more is more theme, how about some double trouble, one in a tight pair of Daisy Dukes, her mate in a nice crisp pair of tight white panties? Didn't think any of you would have a problem with that.

In fact, lets have some more cheeky pairs. These two obviously have the worlds welfare at heart. Saving water by bathing together. can't beat a nice glistening butt can you?


Which is why I have decided to bless you all with a wee bonus this week. The picture below was featured a few weeks back, in one of the black and white "Killer Keisters" But during my, ahem, research, I came across it (and over it) in sparkling technicolour, and decided to share it with my minions of ass lovers.


Which brings us on to this weeks G.A.S. And what a belter it is. Nothing, not even a pair of tight white panties, gets the blood up like thigh length socks. Marvellous....

Telling Transfers?

The big news story down the Wood this week, was all to do with a shock transfer. Dr Shotgun finally realised testicles weren't his bag, and The Mercenary decided to hence forth shun pootang, as they both switched allegiances. This was done at the behest of the MoFo, who claimed there was an imbalance between the sides, as we had all the decent goal keepers (bar Shouty and the Octopus). For once, their whinging had an ounce of truth. The good Doctor is no slouch between the sticks, but he doesn't quite compare with the Mercenary, who has matured into a decent shot stopper. So the deal was done. Did it make a difference? Well it might be a bit early to tell for sure, but yes, it made a difference. The MoFo got stuffed even worse than usual. Now it can't all be down to the swap, but the Righteous were streets ahead. In defense or attack, we murdered them. In fact, with only ten minutes left, they had only scored four goals (two of which were deflections) to our 15. They did manage to get their tally up to eight, but that was more down to the lads in white taking their foot off the pedal, than to any resurgence from the female dodgers. (this didn't prevent Crespo having a hissy fit. we are all hoping he gets laid soon) The stand out moment of the game, was King Dave giving Crespo a proper clogging on his shins. I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't stop laughing. Just as well he picked up some shin pads last week. It was well funny..... So three up, again, and the JMF need to get some form going, or we could open quite a lead. The Mercenary will help out at the back, but where the chuff are the goals coming from??


JMF- The Mercenary, Luclear War, Dead Eye, King Dave and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Crespo, Big Phil the Octopus and Dr Shotgun

2011 Season

JMF wins - 5

Euro Elite - 8


Draws - 2

Killer Keisters

This week I am pairing fine keisters with fine views. I have no idea what tight hot pants emblazoned with Bavaria have to do with the Kremlin, but it works for me, all day long. Not sure which mountain is in the photograph below (Kilimanjaro?) but what a splendid ass. Big hills and bare arses. Nice.


Now I am not 100% sure where this one was taken, or which city provides the back drop, but what an absolute peach of a bum. I like the shower as well.

Finally we have another fine vista. A lovely blond bird, wading into a very nice looking lake. Scandinavian perhaps?


Last, but not least, our weekly Gratuitous Ass Shot. And it is probably the most Gratuitous yet. The extreme close up lends it an almost 3D quality, and can only really be described with one word. Crikey!

Easter Bender

Spring has sprung, the clocks are back to the right time, and the sun is shining. can only mean one thing. The Easter Bank Holiday bender is upon us. Only two weeks away to be precise. Last year's shindig was a rum old do, and this year we are aiming to repeat it's success. The thing is, we lack a plan. Against my better judgement, I have for gone my right to dictate, and decided to take on advice from all members as to what action should be taken. And as usual, I got about a million different proposals. So, in an abridged version, these are the four options that we have:

Good Friday
My personal choice, and the day we had it last year.

Pros

• Gives plenty of recovery time, and makes Sunday double jeopardy
• Plenty of folk out, as it's the first day of the long weekend
• It's my choice
• Everyone is out straight from work

Cons

• Not everybody gets the day off
• Some folk will be working Saturday morning

Saturday

Pros

• Everyone is usually off work by tea time
• You can send the Mean Repressive Spouse shopping
• Football is on

Cons

• Will probably mean Sunday is a write off (hangover)
• There are loads of pissed off women out shopping
• It's not my choice

Easter Sunday

Pros

• It's a nice steady day
• Absolutely everyone is off all day
• Who cares if Monday is a write off

Cons

• We will end up in the Villager all day
• Wives will want to come, and bring the kids to boot
• Most people call it quits at tea time

Easter Monday

Pros

• None

Cons

• Everything

So those are our choices. I am pretty easy about either Friday or Saturday. To be honest, Sunday is okay, but let's be honest. It's the old man option. Not one person thinks it should be Monday, as that's just silly and was only added in the interests of fairness. So I am going to something I haven't done in a while. I am going to run a vote, which is just up in the top left hand corner. I will be also posting an open invite on Facebook, and will also be taking consideration from comments made on this site as well.

The Second Coming?

Would the return of the Messiah signify return winning ways for the nefarious JMF? His return to the fold was welcomed by both sides, although his England shirt is now a rather snug fit, and it did give the MoFo a decent keeper to add to Dead Eye. Considering his lengthy absence he also kept pace with proceedings rather well, and scored the stand out goal off the evening. A rather lovely flick up, swivel and volley that arced into the top corner. This goal was among the several that looked to have dragged the MoFo back into the contest, after a searing start to the match by the Righteous saw the score open to a 5-1 lead. After drawing all square, the contest tilted towards the JMF, although the substantial lead they searched for failed to materialise. The game stood a knife edge. Crespo vented his spleen at the Mercenary, and a most unlikely comeback appeared to be on the cards. But a burst of goals from Euro, Clogs and Crespo broke the spirit of the boys in red, aznd at the final bell, a four goal win had been secured by the Euro boys. Concerning next weeks teams, a news statement is imminent, and should be posted later in the day, as the Elster is badgering me for the computer.


JMF- Funky Messiah, Luclear War, Dead Eye, King Dan and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Crespo, Big Phil the Octopus and The Mercanary

2011 Season

JMF wins - 5

Euro Elite - 7


Draws - 2

Babel-ford

Did something this weekend that I have not done in forever. Went shopping in Bradford town centre. I have visited the area plenty whilst popped up, but this was the first time sober, and on a Saturday afternoon. The first thing that I noticed was I had been walking around for about ten minutes before I heard anybody speak English. Now I don't want to come across as some Little Englander who thinks all the foreigners should be sent home. On the contrary. Gave the place a foreign feel, and if it weren't for our international comrades, the place would have seemed all the grimmer. Can there be a City in the country with more empty shops and retail outlets? (Have just googled this question. Bradford lies second to Wolverhampton, according to figures published in the Guardian) The only place that looked busy was the Arndale Centre, which is a horrible concrete bunker, that had the heating turned up way to high. There were a couple glimmers of hope. The Commercial looked like it was in the middle of getting a refurb, although there was not a whole load of action going on.

"But what made you visit your home town centre?" I hear you ask. Ostensibly it was to get my daughter a new mobile phone, but there was an ulterior motive. A few eeks back, on our Ides of March bender, I made a comment on how difficult it was to find a plain jumper. My smart arse mates found this most amusing, and told me to get down to Greenwoods menswear in town. Cheeky Bastards. I did go in, and I ain't that old yet......

Killer Keisters

This week I have just decided that I shall be posting four random Keister shots. This is due to time constraints. I shall punctuate next weeks posting with my usual inane witterings.

Back in Credit

I know this is coming to you late, yet again, but what can I say? I'm a busy geezer. Anyway, the Righteous had been on a pretty fruitless run of form, not winning for a month, and losing two on the bounce. Once again we fielded a couple of substitutes, but this time we were all on form, and the MoFo picked a bad week to play like dog poop. To be fair they didn't play to bad as individuals, but as a team nothing came off. In stark contrast were the mighty Euro boys, who played up a storm. Crespo was a bit greedy (Quelle suprise) but when he has his shooting boots on it can be forgiven. The game got off to a steady start, although yours truly was nearly knocked out by a flying octopus head. A clash of heads with Big Phil doesn't hurt as much as you would think, but I still wouldn't recommend it. Putting that aside, we got off to a flyer, and in double quick time had a healthy five goal cushion. This was extended to seven or eight, but as usual, we went a little bit Hollywood, and our arrogance was almost our undoing. Luklear fired in a couple of long rangers, and the Shotgun found his spectacles, and hey presto, we were only three in front, and plenty of time left. but the fire was put out by the most unlikely of sources. A rampant JMF were repelled time and again by a flailing octopus, who used everyone of his eight appendages to thwart the MoFo. Whilst his goalkeeping was shoring up our defense, we snapped out of our smarminess, and put the game to bed with a scoring burst that saw us claim an eight goal win. The balance between good and evil was once more restored.


JMF- Dr Shotgun, Luclear War, Dead Eye, King Dave and Jamon

EURO E- Euro Bri, Clogs, Crespo, Big Phil the Octopus and Saty Scott

2011 Season

JMF wins - 5

Euro Elite - 6


Draws - 2