Bender Ahoy!!!

It has been a skinny year Bender wise, that damned recession is still nipping, but we are all systems go for tomorrow, as we take a slow train to Edinburgh, to sup ourselves daft in honour of Mad Adam's impending nuptials. It is the first such outing this year for both the afore mentioned, and the Funky Messiah. Throw in myself, Lobon and Tony Helmet, and the forecast for buffoonery looks high. Toss in Crespo, who is coming up on Saturday, and an outside chance that the Mighty Geester might make a PA, and the Idiot meter registers a ten on the Richter scale. Should be good. Whilst I am on the subject of Buffoonery, we have a new entry in the race for the Maillot Jaune. A man always strongly tipped to contend, gets off the mark in fine style, with a top scoring buffoon, with an eejit thrown in for good measure. It seems somebody had told Lefty, that if you place your Xbox 360 in the oven, on a low flame, it upgrades the performance of the machine. Now he scores an eejit for actually believing such blatant nonsense, but he scores the full 10 pointer buffoon for not only trying it out, but setting his console on fire, and in the process nearly burning his house down. It must be something in the water down Shipley way......

Sprocket also earns himself a muppet. On plus ones stag shindig, he and couple of his cronies invented a new game. The rules are simple. You run up behind a mate and punch him in the ribs. Alas this left him too poorly to partake in all the events laid on for him the next day. He also scores a muppet for not running fast enopugh at work, and being scorched by flying debris when a frunace exploded.

1. Shouty 27 points
2. Euro Bri 16 points
3. Helmet 14 points
4. Lefty 14 points
   
5. Crespo 11 points
6. Sprocket 9 points
   
7. Pembo 4 points
8. Dr Shotgun 2 points
9. Funky 1 point
10. G Spot 1 point

The Cream Finally Rises

There is a saying round these parts, "God loves a trier." And boy did our man loving opposition huff and puff, and give it their damnedest last night down the Wood. But unfortunately for them, we were in full Champagne Supernova mode, and the poor little blighter's never really stood a chance. It was nip and tuck through the opening skirmishes, Hell they even went in front at one stage. But we are no longer the band of ragamuffin misfits of earlier in the year, and through slick passing and vast amounts of skill, we were in control by the half hour mark. Our lead was stretched to five, but they still wouldn't lie down and take it. Big Phil, who in his first stint between the sticks was as solid as a rock, got the wobbles, and before you knew it, the MoFo had whittled our lead to just two goals. This lasted the briefest of moments, as Two Scoops, ably assisted by Shotgun and Clogs, rattled in three scores in double quick time, and the uprising was crushed. The MoFo appear to be in disarray at the moment. There healthy lead of early June is but a faint memory, as a six game losing streak has the Righteous in the box seat for the first time since the Christmas of last year. Dead Eye is out for the next four weeks, but Luklear War is back, but has a holiday coming up. Funky has pencilled in a young replacement for Dead Eye, but will it be enough? All the momentum seems to to be with the Euro Boys, but there is still plenty of football yet to be played.

Line-ups;

JMF- Funky, Young Gaz, JohnnyM, Jamon and Lukelear War

EURO E- Dr Shotgun, Two Scoops, Clogs, Euro Bri and Big Phil

2009 Season

JMF wins - 13

Euro Elite - 14

Draws - 1

Bonjour!!

Sava? Tres bien! I have been back in Blighty since Sunday, but some of that French lassez-faire bone idleness must have rubbed off, as I have bee in seriuos loaf mode since my return. The trip was great, but as a Bender Squad destination, I am afraid the land of our Gallic brothers is a no go area for the moment. It is expensive. And not just a little pricey, but eye wateringley so. An example? 6€ a pint for a start. Yes, that was in Paris, but it wasn't much cheaper outside the French capitol. Until the exchange rate changes, or the frogs become a little bit more realistic in their pricing, I vote "NON" to boozing in France. Which is a shame, as it is a Hell of a nice place to visit. What were the pros, and what were the cons? Read on.....

Tres Bien!
Paris, still probably, just about, my favourite city in the world. Bayeaux for the tapestry. The D Day beaches at Collville. Canoeing around Brantome. The eerie ruined village at Oradour sur Glan. The lager, especially Pelforth, a new French brew discovered on this trip. All lagers are not cheap, but all carry an ABV over 5%. Village cook out in Saint Mathieu. Pick your grub, tell them how you want it cooked, and get pissed. Why don't they anything like that here? The road network. I did around 1,500 miles around France and got stuck in one traffic jam, and drove through only one set of road works. Ice cream. Proper full fat stuff with flavours ranging from vanilla and choclat, to foie gras. The French also make a mean pastry....mmmmm pastry. Nobody wears tracksuits tucked into their socks.

Sacre Bleu!!
The food. Apart from the pastry and bread, what is the big deal? Poncey and overpriced, and everything appears to come with chips. And not the proper ones either, but the skinny assed ones like you get at any burger joint. And boy can than charge you for the privilege. My advice? Stick to McDonald's. It still ain't cheap, €7 for a value meal, but it will be by far the cheapest thing you eat while there. And you can get a beer. We stopped in one place in Bayeux, and for six of us to eat was a €100. It doesn't sound bad, till you figure that we were only eating stuff like omelette's and chips. Another place, a small patisserie in the country, charged me €11 for two sandwiches. No wonder the busiest restaurants you came across were MaccyD's. Outrageous. Motorway tolls. You do a couple of hundred miles, and you pull up to the booth expecting to get charged something like €5, or so. Imagine my surprise when €20 flashed up. You can't get round them either, as the alternative usually adds 60 miles to your journey. In fact everything is insanely expensive. I know the exchange rate has something to do with it, but crikey it stings the old wallet. I firmly believe if Squad members JohnnyM or Jamon pitched up in France they would explode.

As you can see, my only real gripe is with the price of everything. Apart from that it is a fantastic place to visit, and on the whole, the people are nice enough, if a bit whiffy. If you rent yourself a Gite, or are camping, it can be done on a budget. The supermarkets are pretty cheap, and most public facilities are pretty good (apart from toilets). But if you like to live high on the hog, as I know most of the Squad, and readers of this blog do, I would avoid until the pound gets stronger.

1,2, 3, 4, 5 in a Row

I went away on the back of a three game win streak, and am pleased to learn this run now stands at a stellar five consecutive victories. From what I can gather, the mighty Euro boys crushed the limp JMFers in the first game, and snuck a narrow win in the second. This means the race to be crowned King of the Wood 2009 is back to square one, as our victory burst has wiped out a five game deficit. I have no idea what the teams were, or who was grat, and who was not, but suffice to say that the Righteous were brilliant, and the the MoFo shite.

2009 Season

JMF wins - 13

Euro Elite -13

Draws - 1

Summer Sabbatical

This will more than likely be the last posting for a week or two, as I am off to France on my crystal balls (hols). I will try and make contact via the interweb, but after a couple of nights in Paris, I am off into the outback, or what ever they call the back of beyond across the Channel. If somebody could post a comment, either here or on facebook, to keep me up to date with results down the Wood, I would be grateful, especially if the cock munchers are vanquished. If I get to an Internet cafe, I will update. So that's it for a week or so. The roof rack is on the car, the crossing is booked and the credit cards primed, on what will either be a grand voyage of adventure and discovery, or a trip to the outer circle of Hell. Here's hoping for the former, and I pray none of you succumb to Swine Flu whilst I am away.

Au Revoir!

Has Buffoonnery given way to Common Sense??

A scary thought, for sure, but on Friday night there was an awful lot of acting our age going on. Thankfully Paddy was on hand with his new Apprentice to make sure there was at least a hint of tom foolery about. In true Wibsey style, Paddy had greased up his new underlings gonads at work, before coming out on the razz. we left the George late on, missing Leftys band, and hit town, which was a bit quiet if truth be told. We met with Clogs, who was sporting a very fetching tank top, and bumped into a bunch of lads I hadn't seen in a couple of years. But that was about it. Big JohnnyM couldn't get in anywhere, and Dr Shotgun did the decent thing and went with him for some grub instead ( although I think he was just trying to cadges a free lift home). Paddy and his trainee were last seen bouncing around Revolutions, which left just myself, Crespo, Shouty and his mate Mark. we did have plans to go to an all nighter, but at around four a.m., we decided to call it a night. Even the Shoutster saw sense. Let's hope it is just a passing phase...

Battle of the Breews...German Styles

The final qualifier is over, and a no doubt Shouty inspired Kolsch romped home. In honour of the Right Honourable's favoured brew, I am choosing Sion Kolsch to represent, as it is the brew of his favourite brauhaus. Making up the final 16 is a brew that is my favourite. I have invoked my position as unelected president for life, and emperor in chief to make sure that D.A.B. will be the wild card entry. So when do the playoffs begin? Well I was hoping to do the draw before I retired on my summer vacation, but I doubt I will have time. The date pencilled in at the moment is probably Sunday the 26th of July, with the first knockout confrontation on the same day. Feel free to peruse the qualifiers below:

1. Kronenbourg 1664
2. Becks Vier
3. Corona
4. Budweiser
5. Rolling Rock
6. Heineken
7. Grolsch
8. Guinness
9. Leffe Blond
10. Becks
11. Holstein Pils
12. Red Stripe
13. Peroni
14. Tesco Value Brand Lager
15. Sion Kolsch
16. D.A.B.
    

Up for a Binge

At last, after weeks of taking it steady, and being oh so responsible, we are to let loose for a good old binge drink tomorrow night. We are rendezvousing in Wibsey, and if we manage to organise our bad selves, are off to support Lefty's band down at the Love Apple in Bradford. This may prove a bit of a feat, as me and Crespo don;t finish till late, JohnnyM would be late for his own funeral, G-Spot has no testicles and Shouty is a buffoon. But try we shall.

Binge Drinking Rules!!! (Until your hangover kicks in the next day...)

Three in a Row

A consummate team performance by the Righteous Elite down the Wood last night, earned a comfortable victory against an ill tempered JMF. I would like to think the win was down to the selfless running of both Shotgun and Clogs, the finishing of Two Scoops and the passing of Euro and the Mercenary, but according to the man lovong MoFo, we just plain cheated, which I feel is harsh. Their grievance stems form a controversial decision not to award a goal, after both the good Doctor and the Mercenary claimed Jamon had entered the keepers area. I personally did not see it, but it did look dubious, to say the least. Dead Eye was apocalyptic, and threw an almighty strop, something I didn't think he was capable of. Jamon or Funky, sure, but not the usually pragmatic goal machine. It most certainly put him of his stroke. The rest of the MoFo jumped upon the band wagon. I would like to point out that we let a cast iron penalty go, when the returning King Dave retrieved a ball from outside his area, and we also chalked off tow goals after first Clogs, and then Two Scoops crossed the goalkeeping zone.

Back to the game. It was a nip and tuck affair for the first half hour, but once the Euro boys opened a gap, there only ever looked to be one winner. This doesn't mean there wasn't a scare, as a five goal lead was whittled down to one, as Funky, Young Gaz and a now composed Dead Eye rattled in a four gaols in quick succession. But they forgot to mark Two Scoops, and four quick counter attacks saw myself, Shotgun and Two Scoops re-establish a lead that was not to squandered. This makes it three wins in a row, and a once healthy five game lead, is now an anemic two. Next week sees a raft of changes, due to holidays and other commitments. For the Righteous, I am off for a fortnight. Next week we have a new comer, as Junior scoops, son of Two Scoops, and the week after, Doctor Shotgun. For the MoFo, Luklear War is expected to make his long awaited return, but both Dead Eye and King Dave are other wise engaged. Regular replacements Young Daz, and Not As Young Dan, will be drafted in as cover.

Line-ups;

JMF- Funky, Young Gaz, Young Dan, Jamon and Dead Eye

EURO E- Dr Shotgun, Two Scoops, Clogs, Euro Bri and Mercenary

2009 Season

JMF wins - 13

Euro Elite - 11

Draws - 1

Get Ahead, Get a Brochure

Well that showed me. A couple of weeks ago, the only teams interested in taking what seemed to be a washed up Michael Owen on, were Stoke, Hull and the JMF. Faced with this football oblivion, the people who look after Mr Owen, printed a glossy brochure, sent it out to numerous teams throughout Europe, and Bingo, he is next seen signing along the dotted line for non other than the champions of England, Manchester United. Don't think anybody saw that one coming. What can I say. Fergie has won titles in England and Scotland, has been twice champion of Europe, and has been involved in professional footie for over fifty years. This is in contrast to my under 16 player of the year trophy at Sandy Lane Juniors, and my two "Wood" titles. But then again, I haven't paid £6.5 million for Kleberson, or 28.1 million quid for Juan Sebastian Veron either. I once lent Two Scoops a £1 to pay on Wednesday, that I never saw again, but that is about it. But the most shocking thing about this transfer is that all the papers are reporting it as if it is some kind of bargain, as United are only coughing up £30,000 a week for the pleasure of having him warm the treatment table. Shouty reckons this move will see Owen rise Phoenix like, to reclaim his England place, but I bet he still won't have him in his dream team. If you are reading this Paul, I am ready to double, neigh triple the wager, as to him breaking Bobby Charlton's England scoring record.

One for Sorrow, Two for Joy..

Three for a girl, four for a boy. But what the Hell is it for a big squawking magpie in your front room? The Elster, who is a child minder, was in the kitchen preparing lunch for on of the kids she looks after. She walked into the front room to see what the young lad wanted on his sandwich, only to be confronted by the sight of a four year old boy holding a staring contest with a rather large magpie. Being calm and level headed is an alien concept to my beloved missus, who shrieked and proceeded to chase the bird around the room. This lasted momentarily, as the stunned magpie quickly gained the upper hand, turning the tables within seconds, and chasing the Elster around the room for a few circuits, and then out the door of her own home. She is such a female sometimes. Thankfully our next door neighbour, Dave, is made of sterner stuff, and rescued both the Elster and her four year old ward. After ushering them both to safety, he returned and shooed the magpie back outside, where the blighter belonged.

Funky's Keister: An Update

As reported in an earlier post, the Funky messiah was unable to to participate in Wednesday's weekly tete-a-tete down the Wood, as he had been suffering from pains in his posterior. Well I have news. The brave expedition party that undertook to discover his botty malaise has returned. After traversing the vast chasm of PJ's nether region, it has bee ascertained that our sore hero is suffering a rather nasty bout of hemorrhoids, or to put it simply for the simple, piles. How very rock and roll indeed. So for the time being it is farewell to KY Jelly, and hello to Preparation H, as the Funkmeister is resigned to playing Daddy for the foreseeable future.

Battle of the Brews....The German Styles

The last round before the qualifiers, and as posted over a month ago, we are finishing with the German style beers. They are often representative of their regions, and in some cases are not that easy to find in the United kingdom, unless you venture into a Real Ale pub or an independent free house. saying that though, you were warned over four weeks prior that this round was coming, and as such, I hope you have done your homework.

Dortmunder
My personal favourite, named after the town of it's origin, Dortmund. It is in a similar style to Pilsner, but has a cleaner sharper taste, excellent for an industrial thirst on a hot day. Like most beers, a lot of the independent breweries have been swallowed up by larger corporations, or been forced to amalgamate to survive. DAB is probably the one you are most likely to come across, although Union is still found, if you look hard. The style found an unlikely saviour in the USA, where micro breweries, and independents have made a stand against the faceless Goliaths that now seem to control most of the worlds beer companies. An honourable mention goes to the Great Lakes Brewing Company from the great state of Ohio, for reviving this fantastic brew. It usually weighs in with an ABV of around 5.5%.

Kolsch
This lager style beer hails form Koln (Cologne) and carries an Appellation Controlée, just like Champagne or Parma ham, that dictates that this style can only be brewed in and around the city on the Rhine. It is a refreshing beer, served in a strange, a glass that should hold no more than 0.3 of a litre, and although it it has a taste of, and closely resembles lager, actually pre dates it, and is classed as a a warm fermenting beer. All I know is it is well nice,and although it only usually has an ABV of 4.8%, because they are served in small glasses, you soon get caned on them. Thrice I have visited this fine city, and thrice I have been Mullahed beyond belief. The great thing about the stuff though, is its lack of hangover. The beer halls they are served in, are a far cry from their more raucous counter parts in Bavaria, but they are also a damn sight cheaper. Fruh by the Dom is without a doubt the most famous one, but I think, and I am backed up by Shouty and the Grande Queso on this, is the Brauhaus Sion. Watch out for the Köbes (kind of like beer waiters), they are top fellas, but love to take the piss. Take John the Don, who was amazed by the metre long sausage served up at the table. "What's that?" asked the squads blond bombshell. "It is a sausage" deadpanned the waiter. Just remember, if you are in Koln, this is what you will be served, and ordering anything else will make you a bit of a laughing stock, although outside of it's home town it is seen as a bit effeminate.

Altbier
More commonly known as Alt, the pride of Dusseldorf. It's name literally means "Old beer" and it has a look of a bitter about it, although it tastes, to me anyway, more like a bock. Served in a glass called a Becher, it is the total opposite of Kolsch. Unlike its near neighbour from Cologne, it is highly regarded throughout the rest of the Fatherland. The best thing about it though is the effect it has on the Right Honourable Shouty. The self styled "Kolschenator" who ploughed through untold gallons of the stuff, was soon put in his place by his Achilles heel, Alt. After switching brews on our sojourn to Moenchengladbach, he came too, several hours later, in the Gents toilets in Dusseldorf, believing for some reason he was in Dortmund, some forty miles away. Only the good Lord above knows for sure who the devil he git back to base camp.

Weissbier
A bit like marmite this one. You either love it or hate it. Usually light in colour and cloudy, the name translates as white beer, and has become quite popular in the last few years, mainly thanks to Erdinger. It has a distinct fruity taste, not unlike bananas to this beer drinker, and although I don't mind it, I have to be in the mood for it. I quite often go through phases where it is all i want, but at the moment I am in a take it or leave frame of mind. it should be served in a slightly poncey glass, shaped like an hour glass. I am not a big fan of the fruitier ones, so I always claim Erdinger as my Weissbier of choice.

Decisions, Decisions...

The fixture list for the 2009/10 Bundesliga Two has been released, and it throws up a few interesting options. First up is our number one choice, a visit to Hamburg to watch Der Lowen take on St Pauli. I know that Crespo will not be able to make this journey, as it is this year, and he is out of holiday entitlement. The date is the weekend of the 2-5 of October. A definite time has not yet been given, as there is a televised game on Friday nights and Monday nights. If it is on a Sunday afternoon we may be able to accommodate a quick fly in and out mission, but that kind of takes the fun out of it. Another option is a Christmas trip to Berlin. I forgot there was teams coming up into league two as well as down, and one of the teams climbing a level is 1 FC Union Berlin, a team that played in the former East German football divisions before the fall of the wall. The problem with this fixture is its close proximity to Christmas. It is due to be played on the last weekend before, on the dates 18-21 of December. Are we brave enough to tell our wives and kids that there won't be so many presents under the tree, as we are off to watch the mighty TSV play a second tier game in Berlin? I reckon not.

So what about 2010? Well here is the good news. In mid April, namely the weekend between the 16.-19.04.2010, just as the weather starts to turn nice, Der Lowen are scheduled to play in Dusseldorf against Fortuna. It would not be my first choice, but it is the perfect destination, location wise, for the West Yorkshire branch on the TSV supporters club. Here are the reasons it is so perfect;

1. There is a direct flight from Leeds/Bradford, at time of press, to Dusseldorf. Although prices are not yet available for April 2010, to fly on comparable dates in March came to £90 return each, flying out Friday and returning Tuesday night. That is a mighty tempting price. I have checked similar flights from Manchester on Lufthansa, and they do have the exact dates we are after, but it is £7 more expensive, and we would need to be at Manchester airport for six in the morning.
2. Fortuna play in a state of the art 51,000 plus all seater stadium, with a retractable roof. It is doubtful that there would be a full house, so I can not foresee any difficulties getting tickets. For the true football fanatic, there is also a host of top flight teams that play in the immediate area, including FC Cologne, Bayer Leverkusen, Bourussia Dortmund and Schalke 04.
3. Accommodation. Dusseldorf may be a bit pricey, it is a big financial centre, and the hotels tend to be priced for generous expense accounts, but I am sure we can find a budget alternative. If this proves to be a problem in Dusseldorf, Cologne is only 50 minutes away by train, and as myself and the shoutster can attest, there are plentiful budget options to be had here.
4. Location. If Dusseldorf proves not to be to your taste, night life wise, there are numerous towns within a short train trip. I don't envision this being a problem, as the town centre boasts a strip that the locals refer to as the longest bar in Europe. It is a street that has numerous bars, bier kellers and night clubs. I will be also taking a day trip to Dortmund, to check out my favourite lager, DAB, which is brewed there.
5. Alt. The local brew, which is revered throughout Germany, is in plentiful supply . It is a darkish beer, if you wish to find out more, click on this Wiki link. I like it. It is smooth, and packs a good punch. The locals are seriously proud of it, and in many bars this is the only style of beer for sale, as me and the Shoutster found out when we asked for a Kolsch, and whole tap room laughed at us. Speaking of the Shouty one, Alt is his own personal Kryptonite, and causes him to become an even bigger buffoon than is usually the case, which is always entertaining.

So those are the five reasons that I believe make Dusseldorf the sensible option. Don't get me wrong, Hamburg is by far and away my personal preference, but getting everything lined up in time for the beginning of October is a bit of a reach. The cheapest way to do it would be by car, but it is a bout 12 hours by road, and I am not sure any of us possess a vehicle that would be able to make it. So unless one of us drops the jackpot on the lottery, or has a most cunning of plans, Hamburg will once again have to be put on the back burner.

Handed on a Platter

Sometimes you get handed a piece of information, that actually overloads your brain. it is usually something, an item of news concerning somebody you know, that is so full of possibilities for mirth, that your sensors overload and all you can do is grin, as a multitude of quips, cracks and jokes race through your mind. One of these rare instances happened to me on Tuesday. I meant to report prior to tonight, but up until now I have been unable to form my thoughts around this matter till now. I shall set the scene. My phone, rings, and cursory look at the caller ID shows it is a call from JMF second in command, Able Seamen Funky.

"Can you get somebody to fill in for me down the Wood tomorrow?" enquired PJ.

"Sure, what's up?" I responded.

"I keep getting bleeding from me arse, and I am off to hospital to have a camera stuck up me bum to see what's up there" he candidly said.

The thoughts that raced through my head, I could imagine him being presented with a thin fibre optic camera, and refusing it, demanding instead one of those massive outside broadcast efforts from the seventies, along with a full sound crew, and Alan Whicker to provide commentary. Or would they find Lord Lucan astride Shergar, vainly looking for an exit. Would his cavernous anus be graffiti strewn, tagged by the numerous rent boys that had forgotten to strap a plank of wood to their arses? Please feel free to enter your ideas of what could be lodged up the Funky one's keister.

Don't get me wrong. I love the guy to bits, and wish him the speediest of recoveries. But let's just hope he learns, that your sphincter is for life, not for ones amusement. And long may he continue to provide me the wealth of ammunition that he has up until now, always afforded.

Get well soon funky.

Hard Won

It's not often you will hear me say this, but here goes. The better team, on the night, lost. A cobbled together JMF, shorn of all it's regulars bar Dead Eye, put in a heroic effort, that looked like reaping it reward, till they ran out of steam with the winning line in sight. It was hot, sticky and close down the Wood, and the opening exchanges were tight, till Shouty went in. It has always been feast or famine with the Right Honourable, and his first stint was definitely skinny, as the MoFo racked up a five goal lead. When he finally came out, we managed to pull within two goals, before Two Scoops decided to out clown the Shoutster. Not once, but twice, did Young Dan beat him from within his own half, as the Scoopmeister sat daydreaming. Once again we came within two scores, but they matched us time again, until Shouty decided to grant us the feast side of his keeping skills. It proved to be the straw that broke the camels back, as myself and Clogs pulled the game level, and then surged in to the lead via a couple of Two Scoops goals. But there was controversy at the death, The good Doctor had a very good penalty shout at the death, Two Scoops did appear to enter the penalty area, just as the Shotgun was preparing to empty both barrels. It looked a clear pen to me, but Dan was accused of shoving him in, so it was decided six of half a dozen of the other. The bell rang almost immediately, and a one goal victory was secured. Dead Eye summed it up it up thus "Now I know who gutted all those teams feel when they are beat one nil by a spawny Man Utd" I fear he has a point.

Anyway, it is our first back to back in months, and was badly needed. Normal service should resume next week, apart from Young Gaz for Luklear, as the rest of the limp wristed arse bandits make a return.

Line-ups;

JMF- Dr Shotgun, Young Gaz, Young Dan, Big Phil and Dead Eye

EURO E- JohnnyMedia, Two Scoops, Clogs, Euro Bri and Shouty

2009 Season

JMF wins - 13

Euro Elite - 10

Draws - 1

Battle of the Brews...Credit Crunch Result

I feared there would be a large number of you voting for Evil Empire, and I was right, as Tesco's Value Lager won in a landslide. I suspect this was done as a wind up up, as I find it hard to believe any body who professes to be a member of the Bender Squad would would even entertain letting this putrid piss pass their lips. It did win by quite a margin mind... This means there is but one round left before we move on to the serious business of the knockout phase. Qualifiers are listed below;

• Kronenbourg 1664
• Becks Vier
• Corona
• Budweiser
• Rolling Rock
• Heineken
• Grolsch
• Guinness
• Leffe Blond
• Becks
• Holstein Pils
• Red Stripe
• Peroni
• Tesco Value Brand Lager