Battle of the Beers.....Credit Crunch

You thought I'd forgotten hadn't you? No I was just waiting for the Shoutster to provide me with the information and pictures to run this penultimate qualifying round. It was his idea, as he has been one of the hardest hit Squad members, to run a round dedicated to the very bottom end of the beer market, the supermarkets own brand, He included Skol in this, but I have dropped this brand, because although I am no way a fan, it doesn't deserve to be lumped in with this lot.....

Tesco Value Brand Lager
This will probably garner a few votes by people wishing to wind me up, as I am a long time campaigner about the evilness of this company. It costs 93p for 4 cans at time of press, and has a whopping ABV of 2%, which seems to be par for the course amongst the contenders to be crowned king of the credit crunchers. It is allegedly made form wrung out orphans, and flavoured with crushed kittens. I personally would rather lick the floor of the Gents in the Walkabout bar in Bradford than put this shite to my lips.

Asda Smart Price Price Lager
Three pence cheaper than it.s main rival of evil, Tesco, at 91p for a pack pack. It has the same mighty content of 2%, and is brewed, allegedly, from the tears of terminally ill children and ground Panda. If presented with the choice of this beverage or sucking on Susan Boyles exhaust, the Scottish warbler would be hitting a higher note.



Sainsbury's Basic Lager
I think it is 93p per four pack, could not swear on it. Yet another two percenter. It is allegedly brewed using Jamie Olivers urine. The can is nicer looking than others, in particularly Tescos, which looks as cheap as its price. Given the choice between this, and the HIV riddled seed of a smack head homosexual, I would probably choose the lager. but I would have to think about it.



Morrisons Own Brand Lager
I think they do one, Shouty did send a picture, but I seem to have misplaced it. It is no doubt another 2% ABV, and probably tastes like piss. I have trawlled the t'interweb trying to unearth a picture to put at the side of this paragraph, but there ain't one to be found. So seeing as I have punished you guys enough with this posting, enjoy a picture of a random fit bird instead.

Now I know, before everybody starts telling me, that there are cheap "Own" brands at shops such as Netto, Aldi and Lidl, but even though the recession is hitting us all in our pockets, things have not got that bad. Anyway, the offerings above may be, on the surface, insanely cheap,but at two percent, you would have to drink an oceans worth to get pissed. A false economy indeed.