Interior Design?????

When we bought the house that we are currently in six years ago, the only down side, to the Elster any way, was that the previous owners had some decidedly strange ideas when it came to interior decorating, as I believe it is called. Most of it was easy to change. I just gave the Elster loads of money and she did whatever she thought was required. But there was one thing that we never got round too changing. The front room. What the previous owners were thinking, I am not sure. Perhaps they were skiing enthusiasts. Or possibly yearned to live in a sauna. I have no idea, all I know is that the back wall, the one that partitioned us from other side of the semi, was clad in an Alpine style wood panelling. Think Nordic Ski Lodge, and you wouldn't be a million miles off. The problem was we didn't have a clue what was behind it, and I was worried it would cost a packet if it all need re plastering and the like. So for the past 6 years I have fended off all attempts to pull it off. To be honest, I kind of got used to it. It was good at sticking stuff too, and me and the kids stuck all kids of stuff on it. At one point I had a Hooters vest, fresh off the back of one of the serving wenches, stuck on it like an ill gotten trophy. It was also home to Torro, the bulls head I brought back from Madrid. The bambinos even got in on the act, although the the little blighters did stick up a poster of Homer Simpson dreaming about a doughnut, in homage to me, their Father. Santa passed by their stockings that year I can tell you.

But why am I telling you all this? Well the Elster must have slipped some kind of Prozac into my food one night, either that or I was pissed and horny and made a pact to get some, and I agreed she could take off a strip of wood to see what it was like behind. Unluckily for me, it was in pretty good nick, so I have spent all Sunday morning pulling of wood panelling, instead of myself. This means all my stuff has been bagged and tagged, and poor old Torro is currently homeless. This I can live with. What I cannot live with is the Elster some how thinking that I have suddenly acquired a working knowledge of home furnishing. Did you know there is apparently a colour called "Stone"? Even worse there are books with curtains and a whole array of other stuff, that I am all of a sudden supposed to have an opinion on. The Boy Dazzler rang up, and our lass was off, quizzing him on what kind off offers he had on at his carpet shop. I told him I didn't have a clue what she was on about, which amused him no end. I said I don't know what makes her think I have any kind of idea about matching shades, and walls and rugs, to which he replied "Either do I, you can only just about manage to dress yourself!" which I thought was pretty harsh, till I thought about it. This is, of course, going to go on for weeks. There is going to be those stupid little paint pots that you get so you can try different colours on the wall. And the indecision. Everyday will bring a new perspective. Every time we watch something on the telly it will be "Ooo, what do you think of those drapes?" and "Is that a lovely shade of plum?" I am missing the paneling almost as much as Torro is.......

This is the only known picture of the no departed wall, taken at Christmas dinner a couple of years ago. It is only a background shot, and was snuck past the Elster who wouldn't allow any photos to be taken anywhere near it.