Battle of the Brews...The German Exports

The choice of German beers are vast. In Germany. Outside of the Fatherland, the choice is not that great, So I have decided to split the German section into two qualifiers. This week is the famous exports, the ones that are known and sold throughout the world. The posting above this lists the less well known brands and brews, and will be the qualifying round in a couple of weeks.

Holstein Pils
Hamburg's finest export, and back in the 1980' it was the premium beer of choice. It was available pretty much everywhere in bottles, but quite a few pubs had it on draught, including the Victoria Hotel at Sandy Lane, which just so happened to be my local pub as I passed my eighteenth birthday. Still being firmly ensconced at my parents house, I used to trail up every Friday and appeal to my dads charitable nature. Of course being young dumb and full of cum, I would always insist on drinking Pils by the pint. Now my dad drinks at a pretty ferocious lick, and I matched him pint for pint, which usually resulted in me blowing chunks on my arrival home. Time conditioned me, however whenever I used to get drunk on this stuff, I would be overcome with an urge to ring up, and on occasion go and visit people I hadn't seen in a while. Usually around three o'clock in the morning. For some reason it began to disappear on draught, and I couldn't afford to drink it by the bottle, so for years I didn't touch this fine brew. Until last week, when an off license I visited had a special promotion on it. I took it home and was reacquainted with a long lost friend. It was lovely. I was discussing this reunion with Helmet a couple of days later, and he told me that hey had stopped selling the old 330ml bottle and now sold it in 250ml ones at the same price, Wankers! It still tastes damn fine though....

Becks
Only brewed in Bremen, as the add used to say, this brew was barely heard off on these shores until the late 80's, and then it took off. It soon usurped Holstein pils as the number one lager in the country, and soon spread it's wings world wide. You can even get a "lite" (?) style in the USA. It has become part of the, you guessed it, InBrev corporation, and now no longer brews exclusively in Bremen. It is a pretty good ale, but I cannot drink loads of it. It has dry after taste, that starts to dehydrate me after a while. But it is very popular amongst other Squad members, in particular El Grande Queso, who always seems to have a never ending supply to hand. If I am pressed, I actually prefer the lower ABV Vier, but that's just me.

Warsteiner
A pretty recent addition in the UK, it is usually found on draught in most free houses, and real ale pubs. I think, although I am by no means sure, that this is because it isn't a part of an huge company. It is in fact Germanys largest privately owned brewery, and in these days of rampant globalisation, is indeed something to proud of. I first tried it on a Lufthansa flight, it was recommended by a steward who seemed to have taken a shine to me (he kept me well stocked on a trans Atlantic flight, but couldn't get me drunk enough to join the mile high club. I love free beer, but I ain't taking it up the arse for it). It is a crisp tasting lager, and flies down, although unlike most German beers it gives me pretty bad hangovers. This could be down to the fact it is swerved in pubs that cater more for beardy type real alers, and they just don't look after the stuff.

Lowenbrau
A strange one this. It is hardly ever seen in any pubs in the UK, yet go any where else in Europe, and it is all over the place. It is, surprisingly, the only Bavarian beer you really see outside of it's home territory. But it only tastes nice in Munich. Well it used to, because unless you were in Munich you weren't drinking the one brewed there. Particularly nasty was the US version brewed by Miller. But since 2004 it has only been brewed in Munich, s if I see it outside of Germany, I will give it another try. But the stuff sold in Munich, in particular at the Lowenbrau keller at Stiglermeirplatz, is very agreeable. Myself and Funky, and on another occasion the Shoutster, have spent a few happy hours in this fine establishment. It is not my favoured Munich beer, but this all about the exported beers, so will have to suffice. They also have close links with the Might TSV 1860.