Away Day - Quakers 2 Bantams 1

The month of October has seen the bright shiny start of September and August fade, as yet another indifferent display, on Sky Sports to boot, saw us drop yet more points. That is five points out of the last six games, and that includes the miracle comeback at Accrington. Myself, Intrepid Kev, Travelling Tone and Bakes set off up to Darlington, expecting a win, but agreed that a point would not be a bad result either. The ground stands on a by-pass out of town, and looks pretty impressive as you approach, especially when you consider some of the sheds that are called home in this God forsaken division. But the impressive exterior soon gave way to indifference when we saw this 25,000 seater stadium was playing host to barely 3,000 folk, a good third of which seemed to be in the away end. Then it pissed it down. For eighty solid minutes, we watched what could only be described as sub par Sunday league quality football, as any of you who managed to stay awake that long watching on TV will be more than aware. With seven minutes left, Darlo won a free kick just outside the penalty box, and me and Crespo agreed it was going to go in. And sure enough it did. Oh well, another game lost int the dying minutes, but late substitute Omar Daley broke down the left, and equalised within a minute. The draw we would have settled for seemed within reach. Then our majestic defence decided to slice, fumble and fall over as the clock ticked towards full time to allow a player from the soccer hotbed of Liechtenstein to rattle in the winner. Sometimes being a City fans sucks arse. Big time. Still, hope is not lost, as we get a chance for another Away Day on Friday night, as we travel to Cleethorpes, to see the Bantams take on the Mariners of Grimsby Town. If it wasn't for deducted points, Town would be bottom of the league, so it is a banker home win for them, if City's recent performances against shit opposition is anything to go by.

Baz Watch- Played the full match against his former club, which usually means your supposed to score, but one squandered half chance was the nearest our bullet headed journeyman came to woorying the score sheet. The conditions were dreadful, and he was by no means the worst performer, that was reserved for the inept Colbeck, but he was as poor as the rest of the team. McCall has stated in tonights local newspaper he wants to bring some loan players to freshen things up, and with Willy Topp proving to be a bit of a bust, I reckon he could be looking for another big target man. We will see. 4/10

Pie Rating- This was my first journey to an away fixture this season, and I was really looking forward to sampling a pie not from Valley Parade. Was I to be rewarded for my patient wait? Or was fate to cruelly mock me, with an offal offering? To help out I had three companions to help me rate the Quakers Savouries;

Euro Bri-Steak Bake
The stand looked welcoming, all the pies were set out in what appeared to be a warm glass cabinet, and very appetising they looked on a chilly October evening. The price was cock on as well, and I decided on the Steak Bake, the most expensive choice at a very reasonable £1.70. First up the sauce. It was some generic no name brand, that came in one of my pet peeves. A sachet. It took four of these little packets to get a smidgen of Brown on my pie, that turned out to be stone cold. As I broke into it further, it gave out an aroma akin to the cat food the Elster dished up to the family pet. Fucking Disgraceful, and an insult to pies everywhere. It gains a solitary point for its cheapness. 1/10

Crespo- Meat and Potato


Said his was also cold, but tasted all right. It looked like Chappie dog food to me, and his pie casing fell apart pitifully. Still he is big enough and bad enough to make his own mind up, and gave it a rather surprising...3/10









Helmet- Steak Bake

Agreed with me...... and then some. Particularly disgusted with the cruddy pastry, cold filling and garbage condiment on offer to supposedly enhance the taste. Slated it, and even left most of it, not something you often see. 1/10








Bakes- Meat/Potato, Chicken Balti, Mars Bar, Peanuts and a Chicken Wrap on the way home.

This fella is an eating machine. We will stick to his pies here. His first one was seen off in three or four mouthfulls, each met with a a burst of obscenity. "Dog Shit" "Wank" and "Fucking Garbage" were the ones I remembered. Still didn't stop him inhaling a Chicken balti on the way back to our seats, which was also likened to a steaming pile of canine poop. 1/10




Statistics

• Capacity-25,000
  
• Concessions-Cheap, and the service is pretty quick, even on the beer stand. But as you have read above the pies are an abomination
  
• Built-2003
  
• Did You Know?-The current structure can be upgraded to take extra tiers that would lift the capacity to 60,000. (Current record attendance 11,600 for opening game)
  
• Visited By-Euro Bri, Crespo, Helmet and Bakes
  
• Rating-Park Pitch-The average crowd in this cavernous stadium is somewhere between 3,000/4,000, which means it has absolutely no atmosphere. What they were thinking about when they built, I don't know. A white elephant.