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Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Growing Old Disgracefully

I will tell you this, growing old ain't half as bad as i expected it to be. Yes the hangovers are worse, and the old short term memory not as keen as it once was, but I am having a pretty decent time at the moment. This Saturday was an excellent example of the shenanigans a middle aged geezer can get up to. Clogs and his younger cousin Joe have another cousin who happens to be a professional boxer. this Saturday he was on the under card of a boxing event at Elland Road in Leeds, so I said I'd go over with Joe and his mates. A few beers were had, and we made our way to the venue. Now the evening was sponsored, in part, by the Wildcats chain of lap dancing clubs, and the hall was festooned with nubile young hotties wearing hot pants, benders and the tightest of t-shirts. Granted a few breasts may have well have been silicon enhanced (one would have had yer eye out) but damn, they were all fine (apart from one tiny little thing who looked like a little buy (creepy)). The boxing was good, although Eddie, the guy we went to see, sadly lost. At the end of the night, we went outside to try and get a cab back to Leeds. And this is where being out with a trio of 23 year olds comes in handy. They spotted a bird from a rival lap dancing club and managed to blag us a lift back into town in a limousine. With a couple of lap dancers inside. Now I know it was all a ruse to get us back into the city centre, and get us into their club spending money, which is the handy part of being in ones forties. The limo was a bit dank (it smelled of cat pee) and because it had so many lights flashing away inside, every time the driver indicated it lost power. But I had the pleasure of tight, young bottom being waggled in my face all the way into town. Her and her mate even put on a bit of a lesbian show, kissing and canoodling, in a vain attempt to get us too part with our brass. But this whole incident has inspired me. Inspired me to hence forth grow old as disgracefully as possible. Call it a mid life crisis. Call it the male menopause. I don't give a shit, from here on it's tits and beer all the way.......

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