Seeds Have Been Sown

Although not a total washout, not much was agreed, or in fact decided upon, during our supposed "summit" to iron out some cast iron rules and regulations. Meeting in a building that sells beer, whisky, vodka and other assorted inebriants, was perhaps not the greatest of ideas. It all started well enough, it was accepted that Helmet was probably the correct choice as "Le Grande Buffoon 2009" bu the current scoring mechanism was felt to be to dependant on one person, Me. Even though I am Grand Pooba for Life, I conceded a fairer system needed to be put in place. But almost immediately we were side tracked. Firstly Mikey D, on his first outing no less, scored some points. As we discussed the possibility of catching the train up to Carlisle for a City game, he piped up that we could even take our partners with us, so they could do some shopping whilst we were at the match. It seems the whole point of our little drinking club may have passed over his head. Queso was all over his comment, and after a brief vote, three points were awarded. There was no appeal forthcoming. I think I might of scored a point for spitting beer in Helmets eye after he told a funny tale, and I laughed with a mouth full of ale. And this was all before the match.

After the game it was back to the Villager, where we got down to some serious drinking. Only myself and Crespo stuck to the beer, so Queso, Mikey D, Helmet and the King of the Pixies were pissed in double quick time. I have got a feeling Helmet might have earned at least a point for losing at pool, and then somehow blaming Crespo. By this time the Mercenary had joined the ranks, and we at last made some headway. Earlier in the day, the point was made that if we carried on tossing around points like confetti for verbal faux pas, that eventually our nights out would rapidly become silent affairs, with nobdy daring to speakl. So for a slip of the tongue, such as Sandro's "My predicament is Spain" when asked his World Cup prediction, should only be worth a solitary point. The more bold shite as a statement of fact, best illustrated by Shoutys blow job tirade of a couple months back, is more of a five pointer, Gareeee's Ali Dia, stubbornness probably a three. Crespo lobbied for verbals as a separate category, and although a worthy suggestion, it is probably not necessary. At the other end of the scale, our suggestion is that ten points are the maximum score. To garner the "perfect 10" requires an act of monumental numptyness . The diesel in the water tank incident, by John the Don, was cited as the ideal example.

So to recap. We know what is worth a one point, and what is worth ten points. In between 1-10? We couldn't agree, the stumbling block was finding a median example. What is worthy of a five? After several pints an example could not be agreed upon. The Shouty example above is one I have thought of since Saturday night, and has not been been endorsed. So we have a couple of very basic ground rules laid down. I think it might be more constructive if we were to convene on a Sunday afternoon, when we tend to be a bit a less reckless on the sauce, when we know we have work the next day. The other thing that might be worth doing is a buffoon forum, a site were deeds of dumbness can be brought to light, discussed and scored. I am seeing G-Spot this Friday, and shall take guidance from the Squads resident geek.

PS Helmet raised the idea of a cup competition, which isn't a bad idea. He has been tasked with coming up with a viable system of implementing his vision. Scores to date.

1. Gareeeeeee 4 points
2. Mikey D 3 Points
3. San 1 Point

Provisional points pending,
Euro Bri 1, Helmet 1