McOdyssey

After Crespo's correct guess last week, the prize fund returns to a solitary pound this week. So this week, once again..........."Where's McEuro???????"

Censored

Apologies for the lack of postings over the last few days, but I have been struck down with some kind of flemmy chest infection. While I was laid up on the sofa on Sunday night I noticed one of my favourite zombie movies was on, the remake of "The Dawn of the Dead". After the movie had finished I couldn't help thinking that something had been cut out. While I was still laid low yesterday I decided to watch the DVD version that I have, to see if i was correct. there was a scene deleted all right, and you won't believe what it was. It wasn't scene's of wanton flesh eating. A needless sex scene was left intact as well. Full frontal nudity, numerous head shots from high calibre rifles, people burnt alive, run over, skewered through the eye, hell even the birth of a baby zombie was deemed okay. The scene that was cut, in other words the part that channel 4 didn't think was suitable for a mature audience after 10 o'clock in the evening was a speech by a religious figure, who indicated that he believed the zombie plague was due to sex out of wedlock, gay marriages and abortions, and thus hell had become to full, and its denizens had overspilled into our world. The thought police strike again, even zombie movies are not safe from the PC brigade.

To the King a Prince

The King of the Pixies ensured his bloodline is continued, with the birth of a young Prince this morning. I have only spoke to him briefly, but I am going to try and arrange a head wetting this weekend, probably nothing special, beer and cigars around Wilsden happen. I will speak to San tomorrow, when he has had chance to come to terms with the fact he has become a parent. If he is up for it, I was going to suggest Saturday, but I will text out when I find out for definite. For those of you who were wondering, yes he has an Irish accent, and they have decided to call him Shamus. Only kidding. Nice one San.

We Have a Winner!!!!!!!

After seven roll overs, and 8 weeks of near misses, McOyssey.....Where's McEuro has finally been won. The eagle eyed CRESPO correctly guessed I was in the Big Apple, New York City. The picture was taken at the worlds largest department store, Macy's. So Crespo, congratulations, seven pounds is yours when we next meet.

Next week the prize fund returns to one pound, and remember, you have to be in it to win it.

JMF Win Streak Brought to a Halt

The heroic Euro Elite rammed the JMF taunts of the past few weeks down their spunk lubricated throats last night, prevailing by four goals. The sphincter batterers were brought to heel by a stellar display from the rejuvenated Elite, who dragged themselves back from two goals down, to leave Jamon, Dead Eye, King Dave, The Mercenary and Lefty bleating like abused rent boys. Dead Eye was so distraught at the final buzzer, he is having to take a two week sabbatical to recover. King Dave blamed the defeat on the fact that it was his time of month, whilst Jamon just blamed King Dave.

2007 Season

• JMF wins - 3
• Euro Elite - 1
• Draws - 0

More Green Guff

Is it me, or is this whole Green thing getting a little bit hysterical? Is every little change in the weather really down to global warming? Why all of a sudden does everything have to be measured by carbon emissions? The 2012 Olymoics will be the greenest ever, announced Lord Sebastion of Coe. Does this mean the games to be held in our capital will have less smog, less litter and use less electricity and fossil fuels than the ancient Greek version of the Olympics? Our old friends at Tesco, have announced that they will label their products with information as to the Carbon footprint involved in said item arriving in that particular store. How this cuts down on the now clearly defined carbon emissions of the product actually arriving there, has sadly eluded me. I am a great believer in cutting down on waste, and investing money in alternative fuel sources, but the above examples signal nothing to me, but an opportunity to jump on bandwagons, increase taxes and extend profits.

McOdyssey

After a one week hiatus its time for the next installment McOddyssey...Where's McEuro? The picture featured in the the last edition was taken in downtown Cleveland, Ohio, in a shopping mall near Jacobs Field. With no correct entries, the prize total now stands at seven whole English pounds, or near enough $14 for the American among you. So onto this weeks "Where's McEuro???????????"

January...Will it Ever End?

January, a month that seems to go on for ever. Its around about now that everyone is skint, the weather starts to get worse, and there is nothing to do. I will be starting to request payment for the air tickets to Munich over the next couple of weeks, the flights are still going at £180, anyone who is unable to pay can pay later, but will have to cough up any increases if the flights price goes up. On the bender front I am considering sorting out an Amsterdam flyer for those whose M.R.S. will not allow to travel to this magnificent city. The canal trip this summer is looking good for numbers, I will try to reserve the boat around pay day, just in case any deposit is required. Does anybody have any thoughts for a February bender? There is nothing planned at the moment, and the 31st of March is a ways off, so any ideas will be appreciated. Well that's about it for the time being, ciao for now.

JMF Open 2007 with Three Straight Wins

I have been away for a week, so can only report that the JMF won by three goals on Wednesday.

2007 Season

• JMF wins - 3
• Euro Elite - 0
• Draws - 0

2007 Benders Update

The first 5 air tickets have been booked for the Munich Oktoberfest, and I have had numerous phone calls committing to pay for the rest in late Jan/early Feb. In an earlier posting outlining benders for 2007, I inexplicably omitted to mention F.A. Cup Final day, which this year is held on the 19th of May. Although last years turn out was the lowest of previous years, I aim to resurrect this old school tradition this year. Any other bender news will be reported on this site as the year unfolds.

Number 10 Petitoins

Just a reminder to those who haven't signed up to stop the introduction of road pricing and ID cards. Please click http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/traveltax/ to protest road pricing, and http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/IDcards/ to stop the introduction of ID cards. The petition for road pricing now has over 350,000 signatures, and is making national headlines that may result in a change of governmental policy. The ID cards has over 11,000 signatures, and to my mind is just as important to stop as the road taxing policy. It has absolutely no benefits, and will become another useless government agency, that will suck millions of pounds into a bureaucratic black hole. On a lighter note, a petition to vote for the most deserving MP's to be egged on national TV on a newly created bank holiday can be found at http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/MP-eggings/. To set up your own petition or view, and indeed sign to any others, visit http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/

Celebrity Big Bender

Well its that time of year again, Celebrity Big Brother is back on. Let me state here and now that I am no fan of this bag of shite TV program, but the Elster is an avid viewer. Let me set the scene, our lass is watching the old goggle box reeling off the bunch of has been and never was entrants to this years show, when she cried out "Quick look at this! You will never guess who is on Big Bruv!!" Dragging myself away from my PC, I was shocked to see one of the founder members of the bender squad waving to an ecstatic crowd..........

El Grande "Leo Sayer" Queso was entering the Big Brother house!!!! Lets hope he gets Cornish on their asses!!!!!

JMF Prevail by Four

Those cock sucking MoFo's of the JMF extended their unbeaten run to six games last night, defeating the Elite by four. Euros lads continue to improve though, and if myself and JohnnyWest would have been more alert the final outcome might have been different. As it was Shouty and Whats it all about sweated blood for the cause, and were rewarded a healthy return in the goals department, but undoubted star performance was from King Dave. His usual ineptitude in goals was no where to be seen, as he used his flipper like feet to thwart the elite at every opportunity. As if this weren't bad enough, he left his sand wedge boots at home and scored a hatful. Oh well, the sun shines on every dogs arse now and again. Next week signals wholesale changes. The mercenary returns to dark side as a substitute for the messiah and young gaz brings a replacement for Jamon, whose day release from Riddlesdentraz is revoked for a week. On the Elite, I am taking her indoors and the rug rats away for the week, and have lined up John"The Jet" Majet as my replacement.

2007 Season

• JMF wins - 2
• Euro Elite - 0
• Draws - 0

Tony' Trees for Flights

Tony Blair is finally starting to get a taste of the bull shit he and his dark minions have unleashed on this country. An Eco Extremist has castigated Mr Blair for not setting an example to us all by daring to take a long haul flight for holiday. Tony missed a trick to go up in my estimation, by not telling this misguided do gooder what he really thought, but instead offered to plant a tree to offset the carbon emissions his plane trip created. TONY, FOR FUCKS SAKE GROW SOME BALLS!!!!!!! You are probably the least respected man in the country, and the fact you fly to Florida for your holiday bothers me not one iota. I don't give a fuck. I am not willing to spend a week in a Hessian tent on Shipley Glen, warming hot dogs between my arse cheeks for anyone. These crackpots will not be happy till we are all living in caves keeping warm under knitted moss blankets. In fact why don't we all go jump off a cliff and leave the planet to all the fuzzy wuzzy little creatures. Well let me ask you this, the Dinosaurs didn't take 24 hour flights, drive gas guzzling 4x4's, use plastic bags, burn fossil fuels or leave their televisions on stand by all night and where the devil are they now???? Don't give me this bullshit about meteors or comets hitting the planet, I reckon they were just a bunch of fat assed lizards who became to obese to recreate. I am all for recycling, using less power, etc. but lets get things into perspective here. Cars and planes are here to stay. Holidays abroad are great. For Petes sake you can even go on Eco holidays to help save endangered species, which just so happen to be a long haul flight away.

McOdyssey now standing at £6

Yet again nobody could correctly guess the location of my McOdyssey. Shouty came closest, asking if it was in Spain, but could not be more accurate. The answer was Ibiza Town, although anyone guessing at just Ibiza would have been awarded the prize. I am away for a week next week ,so this one will be open till Tuesday the 23rd. So for the next two weeks can anybody figure out;

Wheres McEuro???????

Wood Line Ups

As the weekly confrontation between the camp JMF and the manly Elite approaches it is time to announce the line ups. Lobons continued lay off means "whats it all about" continues for the Elite, and the Mercenary gets a rare run out in white as cover for the absent Luklear War. The bottom feeding JMF remain unchangd as they aim to strech therir unbeten run too six

ARRRRRRRR Me Mateys, Shiver Me Timbers

After consulting with senior squad members we have decided to hire a canal barge for King Dave and Dangerous Pete's birthdays on the 21/07/07 for an afternoon. There is a company that has manned boats leaving Skipton, that come complete with on board bar. Checkout http://www.canaltrips.co.uk/boats.htm to see the vessel we are aiming to hire. It holds up to 500 souls, so the more the merrier. For Jamons benefit it has been decided to give the infamous "Riddlesden Triangle" a miss, and head out into the Yorkshire Dales.

Wilsden vs Tiffin...the Final Result

With the battle of the Wood going down to the wire, and the festive season happening during the month of December, the inbred challenge between Tiffin and Wilsden got forgotten about till I checked up on the voting today. After two months and 76 votes cast I have decided to call an end to proceedings and announce the final results.


The most backward and inbred....
Wilsden, West Yorks, England
50%
Tiffin, Ohio, USA
50%
Total votes : 76

We have a tie! I personally think this is the fairest result, having spent more time than most in each town/village. Yes they are both a little weird, but hey, that's part of the charm. I will be posting another opportunity to vote on some nonsense in the next couple of weeks.

NHS Database

Tony Blairs minions latest brainwave is to enter all your health records onto a national database. Below I have posted the contents of the NotoID newsletter I receive outlining what this is all about, and containing a link to download a letter to opt out, which your can present to your GP or family doctor;

PLEASE CONTINUE TO PROMOTE THE BIG OPT OUT

Thousands of people have already downloaded and used TheBigOptOut.org's[1] letter, and officials at Connecting for Health - the NPfIT division of the Department of Health - are making increasingly desperate and sometimes contradictory statements and claims. Lord Warner (only days after announcing his resignation) got a drubbing from Cambridge Professor of Security Engineering, Ross Anderson on the Today show, and Harry Cayton, CfH's 'patient tsar', just can't seem to understand why people won't take him at his word on the security of the system, and who will have access to your medical records, just weeks after DoH has gone back on its promise of a meaningful opt-out. Please write to your GP using the opt out letter on TheBigOptOut site, their handy form allows you to enter your details and then print off your own letter. In addition please tell all your friends about the opt out letter - the more of us that contact our GPs the more likely we are to succeed.References:
[1] The Big Opt Out has been formed in response to the fact that millions of personal medical records are to be uploaded, regardless of patients' wishes, to a central national database (the NHS spine). As the Guardian put it in November: "The NHS's centralised and computerised system 'Spine' poses a very real threat of breaches of confidentiality of health records and raises the spectre of other agencies getting a view too". It is likely that the NHS database will be linked to the National Identity Register via citizen's unique National Identity Register Number.

[2] The opt out letter is at www.TheBigOptOut.org/optoutletter

TescoNation....the Evil Empires Relentless March Continues

I have included this link http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2095-2524165,00.html, to the news breaking about the extent to which Tescos is taking over this country. I particularly liked the the Tesco storm troopers bleating how it is Political Correctness gone mad that was to blame for people not celebrating Tescos domination of the UK retail market. As anyone who peruses this blog will tell you, I am about as un-PC as they come, and let me tell you something Mr. Tesco and your minions will never see any of my brass, and that goes for your cry baby competitors at Sainsburys, and the equally evil Wal-Mart( owners of Asda). I am not interested in your sweat shop produced, £4 pair of jeans clothing. I don't want to eat your extra value, bottom of the barrel lips and arseholes grub either. But, for the time being anyway, I have a choice not to darken your doorstep. What I do find offensive, however, is the buying and stockpiling of land to open your uninspiring retail hangers, that blight the landscape. How much is enough for fucks sake? Do you really want every pound spent in this country?

Enjoy your local shops and stores while you can, the big three are out to smother all competition, and believe me, when its gone it ain't coming back.

New Year......Same Shite

The turd burglars of the JMF continue to hold the Indian sign over the valiant Elite, easing to victory down the Wood last night. It was a better performance from Euros lads but we still sank to a five goal defeat in the opening confrontation in 2007. Wayward shooting in front of goals continues to haunt the Elite, and although the score was a vast improvement, the JMF were never really under threat of defeat. Next week will hopefully see Euro and JohnnyWest in better shape. The real problem arose afterwards when Jamon was informed that the court price has risen by 10% to £70 for an hour. We have been playing down the Wood for 16 years now, but have come to the realisation that we need to find a cheaper alternative, as this represents poor value for money. Anybody who can find a suitable venue, please inform myself or Jamon.

2007 Season

• JMF wins - 1
• Euro Elite - 0
• Draws - 0

McOdyssey......A Postponment....Prize now £5

Due to the Christmas holidays and New Year celebrations, I have decided to let last weeks "Where's McEuro" carry over for a week. But I have also decided to treat this week as yet another rollover, so the prize fund now stands at a staggering £5!!! Answers no later than next Tuesday night please. In the mean time, here is a photo detailing how to deal with that thieving pikey bastard, the HamBurglar;

Petition Against Id Cards

In a previous post, a link to sign an online petition calling for a halt to the introduction of Id cards didn't work. If like me your are opposed to this unnecessary legislation, please follow this link to sign; http://petitions.pm.gov.uk/IDcards/. This cards will not prevent terror attacks. They will not prevent fraud and identity theft. They WILL cost in the region of £300 each. This is another stealth tax, and more importantly, a huge infringement on our right to freely go about our business as we please, without some busy body bureaucrat being able to demand that we prove who we are. Then there is the running of the damn thing. The last thing this country needs is yet another faceless government department, that answers to no one and has carte blanche to set its own budgets. So make yourself heard and sign up to stop this ludicrous plan.

New Season Kicks Off Down the Wood

The dust has settled on the last gasp victory by the gaylord JMF for the 2006 championship, as the new season gets underway tomorrow. Lobon has succumbed once more to a back injury and is replaced by "Whats it all about" for the Elite, who welcome back a fit again JohnnyWest. The Mercenary is on standby for Funky who has not returned my phone calls to confirm his participation. Dead Eye has also been given the all clear after having his eyebrow stitched up. In interests of fairness, this season I will update the overall standings on a weekly basis.

2007 Bender Preview

As regular visitors to this blog are aware, 2007 is the year we finally take on the Munich Oktoberfest, to celebrate my 40th year on this planet. But what about the rest of the year? Surely we can not survive on just one bender??????? Damn right we can't!! Hopes are fading that we will be travelling to watch the mighty bantams in any play off action, so we have decided that Scunthorpe United away will be the BCFC pilgrimage on March 31st. Also in a sporting vein, and I know this won't apply to all squad members, we can usually commandeer tickets for an England cricket match at either Old Trafford or Headingley, West Indies and India being this years touring teams. For something completely different this summer, we are hoping to hire a canal boat, with bar of course, to cruise the Yorkshire Dales in honour of Dangerous Pete's birthday ( Has anybody else noticed how much that kid in the Butlins advert looks like a young Dangerous?). King Dave and myself are also trying to come up with a reason to do an overnighter round London town before the years out. These are just a few of the ideas that have been put before the board, and as ever we are open to any suggestions put forward by squad members, bearing in mind there are no stag nights on the horizon in 2007.