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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Le Grand Buffoon 2012

Now then, bet you thought I had forgotten all about the annual race for the Bender squad race for Le Maillot Jaune.  Nothing could be further from the truth, however there have been a distinct lack of  benders, shindigs or soirees since October, so the chances of being caught out, or of even doing anything stoopid, have been thin on the ground.  But there have been a few moments worthy of reporting.

First up, and to date the only ten pointer to date this year, comes via the blonde bomb shell and former winner, John the Don.  For those of you unaware, he was banned for drink driving a while since.  After 12 months of being ferried around, he decided to drive over to Belfast on business.  On his arrival back in Liverpool docks, there was a random stop check for red diesel.  When it came time to check the Don's documentation, something was found to be astray.  He was banned not for twelve months, but 14, and due to his oversight was still illegal to drive.  For his efforts he was granted bed and breakfast in a Merseyside jail, and had his ban extended by an extra 4 months.  The muppet...

Next up is brother Sprocket, aka Jonesey.  We had a weekend Bender booked to go around London town in February.  Jonesey was well up for it, and rang me up to confirm dates, so he could work out his work schedule and book time off.  But as usual, he paid no attention to what I said, and booked off the wrong weekend.  He gains another point for trying to laugh it off as a two pointer.  Try 7 ya noodle...

Last of the tales worth telling is of the Grand Fromaggio.  Whilst on the London trip mentioned above, he got separated, or abandoned, depending on which tale you which to believe, from the rest of the party, and was the last on to arrive back at our digs.  Now it was the coldest day of the year, and when we woke up, the curly numpty was curled up under a towel.  "What have yo wankers done with my duvet?" he accused.  Lobon snorted, and I reached over and tugged on the warm, fluffy duvet he had slept on top of all night.   Worth 4 points say I.

The rest of the scoring has been pretty low key.  Geevers running away from his train home, and spending three hours asleep in an alley, 3 points.  Shouty and Dangerous Pete have lost their phones, an automatic two pointer, and myself and Shouty getting on the wrong train in Amsterdam would have been worth a lot more points, if we hadn't been given the heads up by a Polish geezer.  Worth a point each.

And that's about it for the scoring.  The winner is announced on the 31st of October, and with a lack of action on the Bender front, it could be hard to displace John the Don from his current perch.  As for uploading the customary winner in a jellow jersey photo, I aim to have Le Grande Queso on here in the next week or so.  Current table reads thus;

  1. John the Don- 10 points
  2. Jonesey- 7 points
  3. El Grande Queso- 4 points
  4. Shouty- 3 points
  5. Geevers- 3 points
  6. Dangerous Pete- 2 points
  7. Euro Bri- 1 point

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