Killer Keisters

A quick one, as I have purloined the Elsters lap top, and she wouldn't be happy with me loading up a pile of arse on it. So here we go, although I have loaded the backwards, with a G.A.S. shot first. But I can hear her coming, so till next time, enjoy!

JMF or JFM?

JMF? Should have been JFM, as in Just Fucking Met, as not one, not two, but three new recruits were drafted in by the shirt lifters, as three of there core members cried off with a variety of arse related ailments. Aki, Slippery Sean and Child Catchers brother were the draftees brought in to shore up the team. The new look Righteous were all present, and from the off were too much for the patched up MoFo. It's been said many a time, but the team that sticks together wins together, and although it was a good effort from our opponents, the Euro boys understanding and team work were always going to be a tall order. Even some questionable score keeping from Luklear War could not jerry mander a result for the forces of evil, and the game was always in hand.

Dolphin versus Octopus

A good game by both sea goers saw the game within the game finish honours even. I was tempted to give it to Octopus, after my shin pads were assaulted by one of King Daves size 200 flippers, but the dorsal finned one did put in quite a shift. Score draw.

2012 Season

Line ups

JMF- King Dave, Luklear War, Slippery, Aki and Catcher

Euro Elite- Euro Bri, Crespo, Big Phil da Octopus, Clogs and Child Catcher

JMF wins - 1

Euro Elite - 2


Draws - o

Killer Keisters

Now then ass fans, how are we all doing? Better now that I have pulled my finger out and got a new post up no doubt. Of course I am still struggling to keep up, as you guessed it, my PC is still awaiting repair. Butt I am going to do my best to get back to weekly posting, and first up is this cheeky little minx showing off her gorgeous, pert little keister.

Next up, two for the price of one, a little girl on girl, just because I know you like it. Follwed up by fine looking blonde..

Last but not least, a big juicy G.A.S. shot, and this one is a house warming gift for the Shoutster, a pair of curtains to go with that arse.

New Look Righteous Prevail

Last week I had the sad task of reporting that The Right Honourable Shouty had forgone his starting place in the Righteous Elite. But considering his eminent move to Leeds, hardly surprising. However the news I received later in the week was straight out of left field. Elite stalwart Dr Shotgun announced his retirement with immediate effect. This left us shy of our main Jamon baiter, and left us without our attacking dynamo. Although he could never be accused of being clinical in the finishing department, his honest endevour and intelligent running to open spaces will be sorely missed.

On to the game. A new look Elite started as underdogs, as the nefarious MoFo fielded their starting five. Recent history suggests that teams breaking in a new line up invariably lose to the more settled opponent. But the boys in white were up for it big time, and with the help of new signings Child Catcher and Big Phil the Octopus not only held their own, but forged a lead that the JMF found hard to counter. But with ten minutes or so remaining they had dragged themselves back into the fray. The game could have turned either way, but at the final bell, the Righteous had prevailed by a single score.

2012 Season

Line ups

JMF- Jamon, Luklear War, Dead Eye, The Mercenary and Child Catcher

Euro Elite- Euro Bri, Crespo, Big Phil da Octopus, Shouty and Child Catcher

JMF wins - 1

Euro Elite - 1


Draws - o

Bender Alert

A quick heads up concerning the first shindig of 2012. Six of us are heading down the Smoke for a bit of a knees up on the 10th of Feb. The occasion is to watch the Mighty Bantams take on the real Dons, aka AFC Wimbledon in a League Two clash on the 11th, but as ever that will be incidental to a couple of days on the lash round old London Town. Digs and train tickets are all ready booked, so anyone who wants to tag along needs to get a wriggle on. Any queries give me a holler.

Shouty Swansong Scuppered

A new year means a new season, and the campaign to be crowned King of the Wood 2012 began with two shocks. The first shock was the bombshell announcement from the Shoutster that he was to relinquish his starting position for the champion Euro Elite. A move to Leeds means the cash strapped destroyer can no longer afford to make it on a weekly basis. His spot has been kept in the family, as the Octopus will now be a full timer. The other shock was the ineptitude of the Euro boys display. Shouty aside, it was abysmal. I think the final advantage was as high as ten, as the festive depredations weighed much heavier on the boys in white, than the shandy drinking, pussy whipped metro sexuals of the evil JMF. Fifty one weeks of bickering, MoFo cheating and the odd burst of skill lie ahead of us, But first blood to the female dodgers.

2012 Season

Line ups

JMF- Jamon, Luklear War, Dead Eye, The Mercenary and Child Catcher

Euro Elite- Euro Bri, Crespo, Big Phil da Octopus, Shouty and Dr Shotgun

JMF wins - 1

Euro Elite - 0


Draws - o

Happy New Rear!

Now I know it's been a while, and it is also a bit late in the day to be wishing all of you a happy new year, but things have been seriously hectic since I last posted on my blog, but I am aiming to pull I finger out, and get back on track in 2012. So this is pretty much a round up of what's gone down over the last twelve months.

Wood Champions 2011

From a seemingly hopeless position in late July, the Mighty Righteous Euro Boys clawed their way back into contention, and ran out easy winners in the battle against the nefarious knob jockeys of the JMF. If I am not mistaken it was a huge swing from a six game deficit to a five game advantage. A big well done to all my teammates, even Crespo who at one point seemed ready to capitulate to the forces of evil. And to the JMF a big "In your face, LOSERS!"

Bender of the Year

A fallow year, as the arrival of new babies the previous year, financial constraints and housing moves saw the Bender Squads resolve to live it large tested to the maximum. This saw numbers and aspirations reigned in, big time. In fact there was only one foreign jaunt, as myself and Shouty took off to Berlin for a rendezvous with the Swiss branch of the Bender Squad, namely the Major and Downhill. The other was a swift sojourn to the Big Smoke, aka London town, for Crespos 30th. A jolly good time indeed. So this year I have declared a draw, as both were of an equal standard.

Winner- Berlin and London

Squad Member of the Year

Although his moaning on a five a side court is painful, this years award goes to Crespo, who despite seeing a downturn in his finances, continues to make himself available for most of our shenanigan fueled evenings. His efforts and sacrifices are appreciated. Runner up this year goes to the squads preeminent Spurs fan, and our favourite Swiss geezer, The Major. It finally looks like a few of us will be making it out to Basel this year, and finally make good on our promise.

Winner- Crespo

Runner up- The Major

Newcomer of the Year

Due to the lack of candidates this year, I shall leave this award unfilled.

Le Grande Buffoon 2011

Not a stellar year, which was always going to result in a surprise winner, due to the lack of action. It was a close run thing in the end, Dessi's antics on the sub continent were just pipped by El Grande Queso's cumulative efforts over the 12 months running from October 2010 till October 2011. This year was also shaping up to be a rather skinny year, but it is suddenly looking a bit healthier, and I shall get up to date in a full post later in the week.

Winner- El Grande Queso

And that's pretty much 2011 all wrapped up. My PC is still getting repaired, but I am not going to use this as an excuse, and my one new year resolution is to get back on track with keeping this site up to date. It would be a shame to let it peter out after five years. Here's to 2012!