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Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Blackpool Buffoonery

This weekend was a banner time for Buffoonery, as the Bender squad took off in force to the seaside, firstly to watch the Bantams play Fleetwood, and then round Blackpool. None of the point totals printed are final, but they are a good indication of what can be expected once they have been ratified.

Ropey- A strong performance from dread-locked one. After a night on the tiles in Blackpool, he ordered himself a taxi. When asked for his destination, he replied "Fleetwood"  His mistake came to light when the driver asked which B&B he was staying at. "Grand central" the Ropemeister piped up.  "There ain't no such place in Fleetwood" came the drivers reply. So back to Blackpool it was, and although the cab driver originally wanted £35, Ropey still had to cough up £20, for a trip that would have taken about five minutes to walk.  He reckons it is a three pointer, but I motion a minimum of four, as stupidity is not excused just because you confess. I am sure there was more, but it alludes me for the moment. I am sure there will be more than a few reminders if I have forgotten any.  4 points.

Funky- A naked stroll around the hotel, in the wee hours searching for a bathroom, even though there was one just two feet from your bed. There are rumours that it was indeed Paul who laid the stenchiest pile of poo in Ropey Marks room, something that Big JB was blamed for..... Could mean extra points, but for the time being a couple sounds about right.  2 points

Helmet- After getting wankered the previous night, the Big fella needed a snooze, so missed us all going to the match, and had to make his own way there.  Now Tony is not one to ask for directions, so instead of getting off the tram at Stanley Road, right next to the stadium, he made his way into Fleetwood town centre, and then proceeded to get lost. Just as the battery ran out on his mobile.  A dodgy local gave him some bum directions, and instead of spending the afternoon with his chums at the football, had to wait for us back at the hotel.  He also tried to get off the train via the toilet, but considering we had been in the pub all afternoon, can be forgiven  A couple seems pretty fair to many, or am I being to generous? 2 points

King of the Pixies- "Where are we helmets" he enquired, with a sign saying Preston right behind his head. 1 point.

Now I have slept a couple of nights since all the shenanigans went down, so may well have forgotten a few.  Do not hesitate to let me know, and any feedback on the points total is more than welcome.

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