Killer Keisters

Some nice random Keisters to tide you over till I get my machine up and running.

Desk Top Dead?

When did life get so hectic? Austerity measures to reign in my own finances, have meant a heavy work load, little time and combined with an obstinate desk top, means the old blog has taken a back seat these last few weeks. But all is not lost. Geevers ahs taken my poorly PC away, and fingers crossed, will be able to get it running in the not to distant future. This looks like it will, however, lead to a postponement of the annual awarding of Le Maillot Jaune. The deadline date is still the 31/10/2011, and barring a massive burst of stupidity, looks to be headed out of West Yorkshire for the first time. All will be revealed in time....

Righteous Double Sinks JMF

Apologies for the lateness of the Wood reports. My PC's problems have proved terminal, and with Geevers in the middle of getting his fledgling new enterprise off the ground, it means I am having to provide an abridged version of the last two weeks matches. The week before last was an impressive display by the Euro boys, who coasted to an emphatic victory. This drew the 2011 scores level. This was not expected to last however, as a patched up Euro crew looked to be up against it. Late draftees Big Phil the Octopus and Charliedinho proved that games are not won on paper, and the lads in white cruised to a successive win. This means the boys in white have clawed themselves back into pole position, as the 2011 season enters the final furlong. All to play for with ten games left.

2011 Season

JMF wins - 18

Euro Elite - 19


Draws - 6

Child Cather Catches JMF off guard

I know this is late, but it has been a hectic few days in Euro land. A heavy work schedule, combined with a full blown bender eats into ones free time. Anyway, onto the game. Both side looked to be pretty evenly matched, but from the outset there was only one team in it. A lack lustre JMF never got into their stride, and the result was a pretty straightforward affair, a comfortable win for the Righteous, who have whittled a seemingly insurmountable deficit down to a single game.

OctoFlipper

Without each other to batter, the Righteous felt the full force of the combined muscle of Big Phil the Octopus and Dave "The Flipper" Dolphin, aka "OctoFlipper." The Flipper flipped, and The Octopus pussed, but to no avail. Bruised and battered, the Euro boys were still to much.

Moment of the Match

Neigh Moment of the year. And possibly the decade. Or even ever. In the history of mankind. Theory of relativity? Pah. Men on the moon? Yawn. No, this was even greater, and more unexpected. The ball broke wide to young Charlie Child Catcher. Up till now, the young fella had shown little aptitude for the beautiful game. But as Jamon approached him, he trapped the ball, and in a seem less pirouette was round the lumbering captain of the JMF. As he moved into space, he was next confronted by the far more formidable Luklear War. Even more amazingly he pulled off an almost carbon copy manoeuvre to out fox his opponent. Surely now was the moment for him to come face to face with the floor, as he finally tripped over the ball. The whole court fell silent, as broke his stride, glanced up, and buried it in the far corner. Truly outstanding..

JMF- Dead Eye, Luklear War, Jamon, Flipper the Dolphin and Big Phil the Octopus

EURO E- Euro Bri, Child Catcher, Clogs, Shouty and Crespo

2011 Season

JMF wins - 18

Euro Elite - 17


Draws - 6

Killer Keisters

G'day cobbers! This weeks Killer Keisters features a bunch of Shelia's from down under, helping to explain the rules of Rugby to uninitiated. Many thanks to Mr Fluke for bringing this to my attention via the wonders of facebook.

Eight is not Enough

Eight nil after 10 minutes, and the MoFo looked to be cruising. Jamon was giving it large ones, as some piss poor goal keeping by a certain cephlapod, looked to have gifted the JMF an easy victory. But the eight limbed one was not going to be between the sticks all night, and as his shift ended, the goal tide was stemmed. Could a seemingly insurmountable lead be over turned? Slowly the Righteous began the arduous journey back to parity. Youg Gaz and Crespo found their shooting boots, and Big Phil proved a more formidable defender than goalie. The game finally turned after a fiery interlude saw two hotly disputed goals disallowed, and then a penalty went to the JMF. Tempers were high, and perhaps Dead Eye should have allowed time for his blood to cease boiling, as his rushed spot kick was well saved by Gaz. Within minutes the score was all square, but surprisingly, the MoFo found some hidden reserves, and once again went ahead. But the Righteous were not to be denied, and with time ticking down, and after chasing the game from the first seconds, finally took the lead. But Young Dan struck at the death to spare the JMF the ignominy of falling prey to the Woods greatest come back. An epic encounter finally ended in stalemate.

Dolphin v Octopus

The Octopous put in a fair old shift, fighting for every ball, and it could be argued was a contender for man of the match. If it wasn't for his goal keeping. Take away his first stint between the sticks, and the boys in white would have strolled to an eight goal victory. On the other hand The Dolphin was an integral component of his team. He even saved a couple of shots with Dorsal Fin (hands). So our flippered friend takes this weeks honours.

Moment of Match

A game packed with incidents, from start to finish, makes it hard to pick one out. But Dead Eye's proper Paddy over his penalty was Jamonesque. He shouted and cursed about the unfairness of it all accusing all and sundry of being a set of cheating twats, even though we all could see that it was a stone cold pen. Perhaps it was the effort expended on his tirade that resulted in the usually clinical fella failing to find the back of the net

JMF- Dead Eye, Luklear War, Jamon, Woody Wood Boy and Big Phil the Octopus

EURO E- Euro Bri, Child Catcher, Clogs, Shouty and Crespo

2011 Season

JMF wins - 18

Euro Elite - 16


Draws - 6