How to Beat the Credit Crunch

Been put on short week at work? Had your pay reduced? Waiting to be made redundant? Can't find work? Fear not! Follow these simple steps, and you too could be earning in excess of £20,000 a year. First up, settle yourself down in front of the telly and make sure your telephone is to hand. Next, store all the local take aways phone numbers into your mobile. get rid of any sporting equipment, and toss out any fruit and vegetables that happen to hanging around, replacing with fizzy pop, cakes and crisps. Commence eating. Now I reckon if you remain as sedentary as possible, and manage to squeeze in five full meals a day, filling the time in between with constant snacking, you can double your weight inside a month, hopefully becoming large enough to claim disability for being to fat to do anything.

If you think this is far fetched nonsense, think again, as I introduce you to the grazing herd that is the Chawner family. Mum, Dad and their two daughters weigh in at a combined 83 stones, and apart from the youngest sibling, don't do a days worth of graft. Combined benefits? £22,508 a year. But hang on a minute. According to chief Weeble, Phillip Chawner, this is not enough! I quote from the big fella;

"What we get barely covers the bills and puts food on the table. It's not our fault we can't work. We deserve more."

You have to the geezer some credit for front. Judging by the combined girth on show I would say there is too much money for grub. So for those of you hard working responsible eaters out there, I give you a new role model. Heaven help us all. Catch the full story here.

I have copied this tale from the Stop the Nonsense!! website.