Baz Back on the Scrapheap

The Belgian adventure is at an end for the well traveled Super Barry Conlon. And a rather short one it was, lasting only seven games. He did score mind, but you can bet your bottom dollar that it was probably a penalty. So back to the Job Centre for our well traveled cart horse. Wonder where he will be pitching his caravan next?

Still No Takers??

The transfer window has slammed well shut, and to all intents purposes has been boarded up and had a no trespassing sticker slapped on it. That means that unless a player is out of contract and not affiliated to any club, no team can bring in any new players. Which makes it all the more remarkable that no club has snapped up big Irish target man Super Barry Conlon. Stop laughing! If the Toon think Shefki Kuqi is worth a punt as a replacement for Andy Carroll, why not Baz? But still the Conlon mobile lays dormant. Still it's good to see the big lump is keeping himself in shape.....

Shock Transfers

Torres to Chelsea for £50,000,000, closely followed by Liverpool blowing all of that money and then some on Suarez and Andy Carroll. Big news on all the back pages and Sky Sports News, but the biggest shock of the January transfer window slipped by almost totally unnoticed. It would have save Kenny and Roman ALL their brass, as he is currently available for a crate of Guinness and a pork pie. Big Barry Conlon, amazingly, continues to draw work seekers allowance. Never mind that none of the 91 League teams overlooked him. Or that even the semi-pros of the Blue Square turned a blind eye. But when the amateurs of the Scottish Premier League don't show any interest, you begin to suspect that it may just be me that thinks of the Irish Cart Horse as a footballing leg end. As you can see he has fallen on hard times, and and is looking for suggestions as to what career path he should now be looking to take. It is however nice to see he still draws fans, as a burqa clad Bantams fan makes for an autograph.

Super Baz Available

The odyssey continues for Super Barry Conlon, who is once again looking for gainful employment at yet another club. Big Baz was dumped by Stockport County, his twelfth club, after being caught by the rozzers at twice the legal drink drive limit. Naughty Boy. The Irish lummox may struggle this time, as his age and injuries are starting to catch up with him. Can he wangle himself another signing on fee at a struggling lower league team? I wouldn't bet against him...

That Time Already?

Crikey! Football season seems to come around soon. This upcoming weekend see's the start of the proper football season, as the newly sponsored Npower leagues kick off. This year we start off with an Away day in Shropshire, as the Mighty bantams get their campaign underway with a tough assignment at Shrewsbury. Confindence is high, and after last years slow descent into mediocrity, I am predicting us to be title contenders, and am giving a guarantee of promotion. There, the kiss of death has well and truly been applied. To contend, I reckon Chesterfield and Gillingham will push us hard, with Rotherham United and a Super Barry Conlon inspired Stockport County as dark horses. I can also see Joe Colbeck leading Hereford United on a glorious run into the Conference, joined by a fast failing Southend United.

League One is all about Southampton, according to the experts, and I find it hard to disagree. Charlton and Sheffield Wednesday should be there and abouts, as will the Terriers. Hopefully they will fall short, again, and provide us with the local derby game we have been sorely missing the past few years. The Daggers are a good outside bet, and the MK Dons should contend. At the other end it has to be Rochdale. The bottom tier just doesn't seem right without them. They will be joined by Bournemouth, Hartlepool and Tranmere.

Next up is the Championship, of which Leeds finally managed to rejoin. Of course, being the modest bunch that they are, many are boasting about a run for the play offs. This should provide much entertainment throughout the season, as they battle against an immediate return to whenst they came. Alas, I reckon they should just about steer clear of the drop, their place being taken by Scunthorpe, Watford and a skint Portsmouth. Mind you, I did pick Blackpool for relegation last time around and look what happened to them. At the other end, you have to say that 'Boro look nailed on to claim at the minimum a play off berth, along with the Blades, Forest and Leicester. My pick for the automatic places are Norwich and Ipswich.

So that's my predicament, as the King of the Pixies would say, for the 2010/11 season. Next week I shall give my thoughts on the ponces of the Premier league, in the mean time, i am off to the bookies to see if my crystal ball is spot on, and will earn me a fortune, or more likely consign some more of my hard earned to the share holders of Ladbrokes.

Travelling Baz

I know it is a bit sad, but I can't help but keep tabs on Super Barry Conlons career. Last season, after going out on the lash with Matty Clarke, our Smooth Headed Testosterone heavy hero was banished from the team, and found himself banished on loan to the backwaters off Grimsby Town, who at the time of his arrival look doomed to the Blue Square Conference. But the Bazmeister got his cape back from the dry cleaners, and went on a mad scoring spree, thus rescuing the Mariners from the ignominy of the semi professional ranks. But some nefarious ne'er do well must have sprinkled Kryptonite on the pitch at Blundell Park, as Bazza saw the red mist, and was sent off not once but twice, as they sunk into the bottom two. It was at this moment he seemed to disappear off the radar. But what was that I noticed in the results section of the Sunday Times? Chesterfield Town had beaten Torquay one nil, with a goal scored by a chap with the surname Conlon. Could it be one and the same? It most certainly was, as the Travelling Bazza scored on his debut, making it 116 goals in 431 games, for 12 different clubs. If only he had been picked to play for Ireland against France.....

Farewell Sweet Bazz.....

From tomorrow, the Bantams match report will be missing a section. There will no longer be a requirement for "Baz Watch," as our erstwhile Irish cab horse has signed a loan deal with Grimsby Town until the end of the season (he just doesn't look right in black and white, see right). As reported earlier in the week, the laddo had been in a spot of bother for getting himself drunk the night before the Exeter game. It would seem this has pissed McCall off more than first thought, and as his contract is only till the end of the season, it appears Barry has been seen for the last time in the Claret and Amber of the Mighty Bantams. Weather he would return for the playoffs, if we make them, I am not sure, but I miss the big oaf already.

Tara Baz..........

Bad Baz, and the Pussycat Lions

The football seasons in both England and Germany are fast approaching their respective climaxes, and the Bantams and Lowen both fluffed chances to improve their chances of elevation to a higher league.

First up the Bantams, who are in an awful run of defeats away from Valley Parade. The last three performances were poor, but City still managed to hold on to a play off place. Until this weekend. Apparently, I was not willing to take a 700 mile round trip based on recent showings, the game against Exeter was a big improvement, but a fluke cross/shot deflected off the back of Arnistons head and flew into the net over Evans for the only score of the game. According to the match reports I have read we had chances to level the score, and even win, but they were all scorned. At least none of them were missed by Big Baz, but that was down to an unmentioned misdemeanour of the previous night One rumour has him engaging in a bout of fistie cuffs with our big centre half Clarke, who was also dropped on disciplinary grounds, another has them both out on the lash on an evening prior to the game. McCall has said he has dealt with the matter in house, but it will be interesting to see if the burly Irishman is given the start against Bournemouth tomorrow, especially seeing how Peter Thorne is out with a neck injury. If he doesn't get the start, and I think Jones will get the nod over him, it makes you wonder if he has played his last game in the Claret and Amber. Whatever the outcome, I fear we may be heading back up north without any points.

Der Lowen didn't lose, but were held at home to a 1:1 draw against relegation threatened FSV Frankfurt. After a resurgence under their new manager, it was a bit of downer, and leaves them stuck nine points off a promotion place. Next up is SpVgg Greuther Fürth, the team currently occupying third place, away from home. The result of this game will more than likely determine weather or not 1860 can push on and press for a top three finish. Fingers crossed.

1860 München

1 : 1

FSV Frankfurt

Dale 3 Bantams 0

It is officially panic time. This match was to be a barometer of our promotion credentials, and on this showing we will be playing league 2 footie next season. The scoreline was not the main issue, two of their goals were penalties, one was a little harsh, the other, one of the poorest refereeing decisions I have ever seen. More of which later. The way we were out played was what causes the greater concern. The Rochdale team, man for man, is probably not as good as ours, but they had a game plan, and stuck to it. Pacey and able to keep the ball for long periods of time, the first twenty minutes were all Rochdale, but we held strong at the back. Slowly City started to get back into the game, and at the back two mistakes presented Thorne with a couple of half chances, but the 'keeper saved smartly on both occasions. The second half started with a good chance for the Bantams, but from there on in it was all Dale. The first goal was a good header, from a free kick, but the first penalty seemed a bit dubious. Baz was pulled up for hand ball, but he appeared to me to have been shoved, a case of six of one, half a dozen of an other. The second, however was a travesty. Clarke clearly got the ball as tackled Le Fondre in the area, but the ref decided it was a foul, and the contest was over.

So where did it all go wrong? They were hungrier, and as I have said earlier, moved the ball with pace and purpose. Simply put, they played as a team. Our problem, especially on the road, seems to be a total lack of direction, and an all too predictable reliance on the big boot up front. Even the lower lights of the division are wise to our tactics, as both Notts County and Barnet have proved recently. With Daley absent, our main speed threat, our play is very one paced. Law and Furman have been outstanding in the middle, but the lack of movement, Jones excepted, has seen their clever play wasted. Colbeck has been woeful. Last night he spent the majority of the evening chasing his own shadow, running about the pitch like a headless chicken. I am not over exaggerating here, it was like playing with ten men, the lack of input from Joe palpable, and running everywhere as fast as possible cuts no ice in my book. Hopefully the signing of Keith Gillespie for the final ten games will see Joe given the time to find his form in the reserves. We have two away games on the south coast coming, play off rivals Exeter and in from Bournemouth, not the kind of games you would hand pick for a team struggling for form away from home. It's time for some of the lads to stand up and be counted.

Baz Watch- A surprise starter, McCall seems to be unable to leave a winning team alone. He gave a pretty good account of himself, but this doesn't mean he was good. He was responsible for the first pen, and missed his one good chance, but as ever he gave it his all. My question is why he started with Thorne up front. They are too similar in style, and always seem to be chasing the same ball, instead of playing off each other. The Grande Queso made a good point, Baz is better suited to playing in home fixtures, where the whole team seems to play with more confidence, and he is not expected to be the focal point. Substituted on the hour. 5/10

Pie Rating- I had high hopes, and had been looking forward to sampling a Rochdale pie since we fell into this league. Last season I was foiled by the snow, and was determined to make it this year. The reason for my eagerness? A few years ago, a report, rating the fayre served up at the grounds up and down the United Kingdom. Rochdale came third, for it's pies, losing out to a bacon roll and something non pie, so it was the premier pastry in the land. Was I to be disappointed? Had they lost their lustre during the intervening years? Am I a pie obsessive who reqires some form of therapy? The answer, unequivocally is NO! Myself and the Grand Fromage both went for the Steak variety, minus kidney. First good news, they were only £2, a bargain, and by far the cheapest I have come across for several years. I turned to the condiments, and the good news kept coming, they used Chop Sauce. So what about the pie itself? It was just the right temperature. It stuffed to the brim with filling. The gravy was moth wateringly lovely, and the steak chunks plentiful, an undoubted master-pie-ce! Did it score the maximum? Was it Pie-fect? It was damn close, but I have marked it down 0.5 on the pastry. It was good, no worries there, but my personal preference is for it to be a bit flaky, and the casing on these wondrous efforts was a little suety for me to give it the seal of pie-fection.

The Big Cheese said he doesn't do halves, and give it an almighty 9/10

As you may have gathered, my mark is an excellent 9.5/10


A high benchmark has been set. So high, I may have to reassess the previous ratings, as apart from Bury, Bradford's Steak and Kidney and Notts Countys Chicken and Mushroom, these bad boys were a country mile ahead of anything else sampled over the last couple of seasons.

Off to the Dale

No apologies at all for this solitary, and brief, post, as i am off to follow the Bantams down the 'Dale tonight. I am heading over with El Grande Queso, and hooking up with Bakes and the Helmet for a sherbert on arrival. This has been a destination I have been looking froward to visiting, as it is deep into Pie Country, and it's savouries were once voted the finest in the land. Afterwards it is off to the Casino, for much largeness and beer. Will update, hangover permitting, tomorrow.

Bantams 1 Silkmen 0

Finally a win. After a three game barren steak, we earned the full three points against an uninterested Macclesfield Town. From the off, the visitors didn't really seem that interested in winning, playing five at the back, and stuffing the midfield. The question was, could we break them down? Recent performances has not gone well, and although Jones rattled the crossbar in the first half, there was a lot of huff and puff, and very little imagination. If a team was in need of a goal to break them out of their stupor, it was the Bantams, and as the realisation dawned of how poor the opposition was, an urgency not seen since the Wycombe game began to creep in. Furman and law were beginning to actually run with the ball, instead of aimlessly punting it forward, stretching the Macclesfield rearguard and opening up space. At last, just as the hour mark was passed, the new found confidence paid dividends. A clever passing move saw Boulding holding up the ball on the edge of the penalty box, timing his pass perfectly with the surging run of Furman, who found the bottom corner with a smart finish. The rest of the game passed by easily enough, the Silkmen failing to raise an opening of any real note, and if the Bantams had possessed a little more composure in the final third, the outcome could have been more substantial. Not a classic, but a much needed win. With a couple of other results going in our favour, we managed to climb three places, back into the play off places, and up to fifth. Next up is Aldershot at home, and if we can win that contest, it is followed by the proverbial six pointer next Tuesday, when we visit third place Rochdale. Squeaky bum time has arrived.

Baz Watch- One of the three changes wrought by McCall, our aero dynamic hero was on from the off. But something didn't seem right his Bazship. He seemed some how subdued, not very Baz like at all. Yes he ran around, but there were no flashes of either brilliance, or ineptitude, something the lovable Irishman usually provides in spades. He did pick up his game in the final ten minutes, the usual spell he is on the pitch for, giving us on of his "Sniper in the stands" dives, a nice spin, a half decent strike and a great through ball for a disallowed goal. Might have done just about enough to retain his spot against Aldershot. As average as it gets....5/10

As regular readers are aware, the concession stand offerings at Valley Parade have long been exhausted. So this week I thought I would treat you to a picture of Barry Conlon with hair...








This hirsute Barry Conlon also hails from the Emerald Isle, and is President of FreightWatch USA. He served for seven years in the Irish Special Forces (no, I didn't know there was such a thing either), so just like "our" Barry, you wouldn't mess. He is also prone to missing sitters. You can read more about "Hairy" Barry by clicking here.

Magpies 3 Bantams 1

The omens were not good, I must have had a dodgy pint of Guinness the night before, 'cause I woke up up with bad guts, if you know what I mean. This was compounded by the journey down to Nottingham, I managed to get some kip, but when I woke up, there was only one course of action. Of course I waited until we were going through roadworks that prevented Crespo from pulling his car over. This meant the passenger side of his vehicle was plastered with puke, as I hung my head out of the window. This in turn made Crespo himself feel a bit gippy, so our first port of call was a car wash. With a now sparkly clean car, we drove into Nottingham, and got down near the ground, which just happened to be within spitting distance of the UK's only Hooters. Result! Fortified by some hot wings and a pint of lager, I was back to my best, and although I could have quite easily stayed in Hooters, we took off for the match.

It was to be a bad call. We looked great for the first five minutes, but after that it was dreadful. Three nil down at half time, and what made it worse was our total ineptitude. It was like Bury away, times 10. In the local paper, Stuart McCall made a big play about them only having three chances, all taken, and how we made over 20 crosses to their nine. he failed to mention that 19 of these crosses successfully found touch at the other end of the pitch. Dean Furman, O'Brien and Rehamn apart, it was woeful. Graham Lee had a mare, and the movement from the rest of the team was non existent. The week before we got rolled by Barnet, and there was barely a change in the team, for this game. It needs shaking up badly. No idea, no cohesion and a reliance on the big hoof up front. Not a strategy to get us into League one. It was so bad, that County even took the piss in the second half, playing keep ball, as our own fans began to call "Ole!" in unison with home support. Shotgun summed up the mood, stating that our £20 notes would have been much better value spent on Hot Wings and beer across the road. It was so poor, that we did something that I haven't done in over seven years. We left early. Happen it was the thought of being served cold beer by a nubile waitress in a skin tight tank top and orange hot pants, but we could take no more, and with just over five minutes remaining we were gone. Of course we missed Thornes consolation goal, but worse was to follow, as the local constabulary prevented us from going into Hooters saying it was full. My Arse.

This means we have fallen out of the play off places. And with the last to games being high scoring defeats our goal difference has taken a beating as well. We do have a game in hand on Shrewsbury, the team immediately above us, but every other team has played the same, so no joy there either. The only slice of luck we have had, is Darlington being docked ten points for going into administration, or they would be breathing down our necks, with two in hand. Our hopes of automatic promotion also look to be slim, we are six points behind third and second, although we do have a visit to Spotland to play Rochdale looming. I reckon our hopes of a top three place may well be decided by this game. What about the play offs? The Daggers have fallen of the pace, so it looks a straight shoot out between us and any team up to second. It looks like Brentford may just run away with it now. All I know is that if we continue to post in performances like the last two games, we will be playing in this league again next season.

Pie Rating- I was hoping to have a picture to accompany the "Pie Rating" but the good Doctor must be to busy playing Call of Duty, sorry I mean working from home, to bother to send me it on, so I am afraid I will have to the set scene with words. The pie is Chicken and Mushroom, with a golden flaky pastry, slightly underdone, but warm, and as I bite into it, the warm chunks of chicken and mushroom, combined in light gravy cascade into my mouth and moustache, joining the flecks of sick left over from my moment on the motorway. The tomato sauce I have liberally spread on the top of the pie proves the perfect compliment, and drowns out the taste of the stale spittle. Mmmmmmmmmmm. A very good effort, and worthy of the 8/10 I am bestowing upon it.

Baz Watch- Splinter gathering on the bench. A few purposeful shuttle runs, and that was it. He still scores better marks than Graham Lee did, and he played the full 90 minutes. He must be pretty pissed, considering the ineptitude of the team, that he didn't even get a run out.

I will be posting an Away Day feature on the stadium at a later date, if I ever get the photos and video of Crespo. This applies to you as well Shotgun, in reference to the Bury game. Either that, or I will just have to stop forgetting my camera.

Bantams 0 Quakers 0

An abridged version of events, as it is late, and I am tired. Boulding missed in the first half, and Thorne hit the bar. Second half, Darlington were better, good save from Evans at the death. Boring game. Daley injured, stretchered off, a worry. Pie- Steak and Kidney, chop sauce. Nice. Baz- got ten minutes, ran around, average. Matt Clarke my man of the match for his last ditch tackles. Moved downm a place, next up Barnet away. Good night.

Bantams 1 Chairboys 0

Three wins in a row, and we are now firmly back in the hunt for automatic promotion. This game was an excellent test of our credentials, Wycombe were runaway leaders at Christmas, and although they remain above us in the league, second to our fifth, they are now only two points ahead (albeit with a game in hand). The match started out brightly enough, we had the better of the early play, but Wycombe play pretty good football for this level, and should have been ahead, Furman clearing a header off his own line. Combine that with a fair penalty shout, and an absolute sitter that was spurned, we could have been a couple of goals down before we took the lead. A quick break, the ball worked out wide, and a good cross found Thorne in space, but he moved the ball out wide to Jones, who smashed a shot into the top corner at the near post. I thought he sliced his shot, but they all count. If he did mean it, what a goal. The second half was a good, both teams making chances, but the game was sealed in the with 15 minutes left, when Chris Zebroski of the Wanderers was shown a straight red, for a challenge that bordered on assault. He steamed into Matt Clarkes chest with his boot. Only the Shoutster thought it wasn't that bad of a challenge. Must have forgotten his contact lenses. With the opposition down to ten men, gaps were left at the back. Law, Colbeck and Thorne all fluffed easy chances to extend the lead. It was a good performance, but results in other games did us no favours. Brentford remain five points ahead of us at the top of the table, but we do have a game in hand on them, and play them in April. Unfortunately for me, that's the weekend we are in Munch. C'est la vie. Next up is Darlington on Tuesday night. They are four points behind us, and outside the playoff places, but have three games in hand. A win will see us leap frog Bury into third place.

Baz Watch- Warmed the bench for the full 90 minutes. Sported a rather natty blue beanie hat whilst doing his warm up runs. Will struggle to get back into the team if they keep playing this well.

Pie Rating- I had pie, as did Shouty and Lincoln, but I forgot to get any marks off them. So this week it's Big Phil who steps into the breech, with a healthy alternative to the no doubt bad for you pie. He gave his half time apple an 8/10.

Bantams 2 Mariners 0

At last, a win. It should have been by several, the Mariners had a guy sent off after twenty minutes, but there were some amazing misses. Quite a few of the people sitting around us praised the Grimsby keeper for a string of "fine" saves, but apart from one, I would class them as glaring misses. Jones in particular gave the impression of not being able to kick his way out of a wet paper bag. He did score the final goal right at the death, he went around the keeper after being released by Boulding, but he cannot shoot. Time after time, he tamely shot goal wards, and his crossing is poor. Boulding hit one straight at the keeper, as did Rehman, and Jones manged to hit the post. Crespo was starting to worry that it was going to be one of those afternoons, when Nicky Law finally broke the deadlock with a quarter of an hour remaining. An above average display, Furman was excellent, against a very ordinary team. We will have to take our chances tomorrow night, when promotion rivals Darlington roll into town. A proverbial six pointer.

Baz Watch- Came on in the 89th minute, and in the limited time available, gave a vintage Baz Conlon display. Firstly he helped clear a corner. Then, deep into injury time, City broke. Colbeck drove into the penalty area, and slipped a pass through to the unmarked Bazza, in acres of space. There was nobody near him, the keeper remained rooted to his goal line as the ball came within the big Irish mans radius. He had time to light a pipe and discuss the working of the internal combustion engine with a nearby ball boy, write a letter and read War and peace twice over. All it needed was a touch, a look up, and a precision pass to the far post for a certain goal. My dear Grandmother, 88 years old, possessor of two plastic knees and a dodgy ticker could have buried this king of all sitters. But for reasons known only to himself, he kicked it first time straight at the keeper. He kind of redeemed himself, playing the pass that released Boulding to ultimately set up Jones's goal, but that miss will surely cause him a couple of sleepless nights. 3/10

Guest Rating- This week Lincoln, aka Simon, rates not a pis, nor any item of grub, but a roll up cigarette. For reasons unknown, all 92 football league clubs have outlawed smoking in stadiums. This would be a valid ruling in a a structure made of wood, but as most modern stadia are structures made of cement, concrete and steel it holds no water. That's the modern world for you I suppose. Anyway, it was hand rolled, using Golden Virgina, wrapped in a Rizzla, of the green variety, and lit with a 50p lighter. Lincoln gave it a perfect 10/10*

*this site in no way condones smoking or breaking the law, no matter how stupid.

Shakers 1 Bantams 0

Our mediocre run continues, and for the first time this season we find ourselves outside of the playoff places. The game was a throwback to dark times, for some unfathomable reason we resorted to the log ball game almost from the off. The pairing of Jones with Conlon upfront was baffling to say the least, they spent much of the game chasing the same ball. Out wide Daley was played on the wrong flank, and Law was played wide right, a strange decision considering his recent from in the middle. But what was the point of the midfield? Clarke, Lee, Arniston and Rehman treat the ball like a hand grenade and pumped it aimlessly skyward all evening. I have read on the message boards of the local newspaper everybody slagging of McLaren and Daley, but the ball bypassed them time and again. Even more worrying is the total lack of cohesion at set plays. What do they get up to on the training pitch? I know McCall is a bit green as a manger, but with the business end of the season fast approaching, now is not the time to be experimenting with formation and personnel. We didn't look to have any kind of idea upfront till the introduction of Boulding, after we had gone a goal down, and there was only 10 minutes remaining. Is it a coincidence that at was in this period of time we created our best chances? I am not one who is going to call for McCall to be sacked, at this juncture of the season it would ridiculous, but he needs to start exercising some common sense. Wingers as strikers? Your best central midfielder on the right? Two proven goal scorers on the bench? Strange choices.

As for Bury, they play nice little triangles, but lack any cutting edge. We fell into the trap of playing exactly the way they wanted us to, and their two Leviathan centre halves won everything in the air. A workman like team such as these should not be looking down the table from the comfort of four point cushion. We need to start stringing some results together ASAP, and wasting our best players by adopting the big hoof upfront is not the way to achieve this.

Baz Watch- Noit good I am afraid. Everything our smooth headed Gaelic forward touched turned to mush. He had at least three gilt edged chances, and spurned the lot. What made it worse is the fact all missed the target. His gargantuan marker had him pretty much in his pocket all night. As usual he will bare the brunt of the supporters blame, but to single either himself or Daley for special attention seems a tad harsh considering the performance of the whole team. I fear the substitutes bench beckons. 3/10

Pie Rating- We were deep into Lancashire, pie country, and expectations were high. At first these expectations seemed to be ill founded, at the beginning of the match they only had Cornish pasties, but by half time, fellow supporters were spotted scarfing pies, so I braved the concession stand once more. Steak or Balti was the choice, and being of the old skool (I believe this is the way you are expected to spell school when using it in this context) I plumped for the steak. Which turned out to be steak AND kidney, a fact that dismayed my travelling companion, the good Dr Shotgun, no end. We both found the pasty to be of a high standard taste and filling wise, but it was small, and a bit pricey. The steak and kidney, from my view, was excellent. Choc full of filling, the perfect serving temperature and finished off with Chop sauce (yes they also use the mighty Hammonds). Even Shotgun thought it good, although he has a loathing of Kidney, and refutes the fact that it puts hairs on your chest as an old wives fish tale. The ratings are as below.

Euro Bri;
Pasty 6/10
Steak and Kidney 8/10

Dr Shotgun;
Pasty 6.5/10
Steak and Kidney 6/10

Baz Stalker

I always thought Super Barry Conlon was kept caged between matches, fed on the raw carcass of fresh slaughtered wild boar between matches, but I was seriously mistaken. He in fact shops at ASDA. How do I know this? Well Shouty senior, aka Big Phil, was doing his weekly shopping at a branch of the malevolent federation, when he spotted a young stunner doing her shopping. He gave her the once over, and was considering his opening chat up line, when her partner strode into view. He was tall, bald, and kept missing his trolley as he tried to put his purchases in. It was none other than the mighty Bazmeister himself. "You all right Barry?" enquired Big Phil. "To be sure" our leg end replied in a soft Irish brogue. I am slightly disappointed he buys his grub in a supermarket, as I always figured he chased down live bulls in a field for his meat, rendering them immobile with nothing more than a rusty spoon, but at least he has a fit bird. Go on Baz! The picture below is off Big Phil, Baz and Matt Clarke at the player of the year function last year.

The cardigans are a little bit gay, but I dare YOU to tell them!

Bantams 1 Stanley 1

Didn't get into the ground in time to see City go behind, couldn't find a parking spot, but the rest of the first half was pretty much all Bantam traffic. The problem was, every time we carved out an opening, or seemed ready to pull the trigger, an Accrington boot, or in one case what seemed a definite hand, got in the way. So after steadying ourselves with a pie and a pint at half time, we were expecting better, and as usual, particularly when we play teams at home which we are expected to beat, were sorely disappointed. Nicky Law set up our equaliser, and that was about it. Daley ran around, but to no real effect, and there was a a couple of chances at the death, which the on loan O'Grady selfishly wasted, when he shot instead of passing to colleagues in a better position. Our main rivals, bar Brentford failed to capitalise on our dropped home points, but we still slipped to fourth in the table, with a few teams holding a game in hand. Performances will need to improve if we are to push for an automatic return to League 1. Next up Luton away.

Baz Watch- On from the beginning, our aerodynamic front man was his usual willing self. Of course this didn't mean he was any good, but was no worse than most of his team mates. Re deemed himself in the second half, when he smashed in the equaliser from all of two feet, after good work by Law. Strangely substituted after 66 minutes for O'Grady who appears to be a more sluggish version of our Irish hero. 6/10

Pie Rating- Finally we have a new guest reviewer, as Dr Shotgun made his first foray of the season down to Valley Parade. His choice of sustenance was the ever popular Meat and Potato, usually an above average performer. But the good Doctor must have got the runt of pie litter. It was soggy, and upon first bite, seeped out water and undercooked filling. He was not impressed. At all. 3/10

Bantams 0 Shrews 0

I am sure you have all heard the old football chestnut about "murdering a team 0-0" and this was a pretty good example of it. The first half was as good as I have seen from the lads this season, and only profligacy, the wood work and poor refereeing decisions prevented the goal we deserved. Boulding missed when all thought he would score, and there were three penalty shouts, the last of which looked nailed on from where I was sat. All this against a team who are one of our main rivals for promotion. But it was two points dropped, and the worry is that some of the teams around us are now sporting a couple of games in hand. Next up is Bournemouth away, which unless me, Crespo or Shouty drop the jackpot on the lottery, is an away game too far. Next up is Accrington Stanley, who stuffed us in our home fixture last year.

Baz Watch- The first half nearly saw the moment that would have seen the Bazmeister etch himself in the memory of all who saw the game. Just inside 10 minutes, our bullet skulled centre forward got onto the end of a long punt from defence, knocked the ball up and unleashed a pile driver from the edge of his own own penalty area. A sonic boom could be heard as it flew goal wards, only to be hit the inside of the left upright, and across the face of goal to safety. A monumental effort indeed. This inspired a new chant, to the tune of winter wonderland,

"There's only one Barry Conlon, one Barry Conlon,
At fist he was shite, no we think he's alright,
Walking in a Conlon Wonderland"

Of course there are still plenty among the crowd who think he is garbage, but these tend to be the morons who spout such nuggets as "What we need is a Stevie Gerrard type in midfield" or "We need to some decent youngsters." News Flash. We are a skint, bottom tier league football team. Nobody who can get a game in the league above is interested. And while we are it, name me a team, apart from Liverpool wise acres, who wouldn't love a Stevie G? We do get a decent young local lad, and where is he playing? Leeds! Back to Big Baz. He did kind of fade a bit in the second half, but that was because the whole team ran out of ideas. Shrewsbury came for the draw, and were very good defensively. Marks? 7/10

I do have a new guest rating, but the picture is in my phone, and I can't be arsed walking across the living room to get it, so I will post it next week.

Bantams 4 Shrimpers 0

After not making the last home game, it seemed ages since we had seen the Bantams play. Two 0-0 draws against Chester and Lincoln, had seen us blow a chance to put a bit of daylight between ourselves and the other teams vying for the play off places. In typical City fashion, they start keeping clean sheets, just as our strikers hit a barren patch. To the macth, an injures Thorne missed the game, and a flu ridden Daley started on the bench, which meant our favourite bald headed Irishman was leading the attack alongside Boulding from the off. Our hopes were raised even higher when we caught glimpse of the Morecambe rear guard, who featured tow players who appeared to have scarfed down several Christmas dinners. They made me look svelte. But the first half was turgid stuff, and to be fair we went in one up against the run of play. The Shrimpers fashioned the better chances, but were foiled by Evans. Our goal was well taken by McLaren, but the Morecombe defenders just seemed to stand back and let him waltz through to clip in a cool finish. The second half was a different kettle of fish though. First Boulding extended our lead, followed by a fantastic third from Law shortly after. he made some space, looked up and unleashed a swerver from all of 25 yards to beat the keeper. We were cruising now and a fourth came soon after, more of which later. A competant disply, against a mediocre team, who faded badly in the second half. Special mention goes to O'Brien, who yet again played well, and was worthy of his man of the match selection. Next week is a toughie, against one of our main rivals for an automatic promotion place, Shrewsbury Town. It will a good test of our promotion credentials.

Baz Watch- An excellent performance by "Super" Barry Conlon. Earlier in the week he had signed an extension to his contract that sees him stay with the Bantams till the culmination of the season. It is good news, although if we do reach our goal of League footie next year, it will be time to bid farewell. He is a good solid player at this level, but if we hope to kick on up the leagues, we will be needing players with more ability. But lets not talk the big man down, he was brilliant yesterday. During a first half which saw us on the back foot, he made numerous defensive headers to clear danger. He set up Bouldings goal with a sublime trap and turn, before floating the perfect pass over the top to set him free for a one on one against the keeper. He rattled the cross bar, which Crespo considered a missed sitter (sour grapes, because his beloved Willy was short on skill, and has been jettisoned), before firing in a late penalty to take his season tally to seven in the league, and eight in all competitions. 8/10

Pie rating continues its sabbatical, until I can find a new delicacy, or guest, to give a new rating.